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Degen Stories.... Degen Stories....

12-19-2013 , 09:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by coolerboy123
Na you had it right the first time.
Oh I'm sorry, you've never made a contribution to this thread other than to troll. Well, I guess that makes your opinion in this thread the highest rated of all.
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12-19-2013 , 09:13 PM
The cliff notes from my story

- I sat down at a 1/2 game
- thought I recognized a guy, asked if his name was mark and he said no
- he says he's stuck $1701
- He straddles every hand with 72 and wins like 10 in a row vs AA and makes $851
- I see him later and he asks if he could get a ride, because he lost the whole $851 so I agree to give him a ride halfway to his place to meet his significant other, but she didn't pick up the phone
- I felt really bad

Beat- I'm s***tty at telling degen stories
Brag- I'm a 1/2 baller
Variance- Some guy I didn't know lost what he won at da pokerz playing roulette


Edit- If you want to find my story the internetz makes it pretty easy

Last edited by coolerboy123; 12-19-2013 at 09:34 PM.
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12-19-2013 , 09:51 PM
top 5 worst degen story itt ^
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12-19-2013 , 11:46 PM
Coolerboy, when you play bridge at home, are you doing so just for the irony?

Also, you counteracted your initial troll by actually reading the story. Pick a side & stick with it, trollboy.
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12-19-2013 , 11:51 PM
Pics!
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12-19-2013 , 11:52 PM
oh and tell us that story that u said u cant say because someone u may know might see it.. no one will see
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12-20-2013 , 12:30 AM
c'mon everyone. This thread is not about passing judgement or deciding who's story is more degen than someone else's. This about about degens who gotta degen, and being able to put that story out there.

Sont make **** up to impress, or post what you heard about someone doing.

Just post your bouts of degenness and let everyone else bask in the pain
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12-20-2013 , 02:42 AM
"I was about 19 and had been doing my arse with my mates...."

ya, stopped reading right there.
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12-20-2013 , 04:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wet work
"I was about 19 and had been doing my arse with my mates...."

ya, stopped reading right there.
For our American friends that means you have been losing a lot of money.
Not what you think.... at least I don't think so.
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12-20-2013 , 08:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by onebillsdrive
For our American friends that means you have been losing a lot of money.
Not what you think.... at least I don't think so.
You mean for our friends who don't use council estate idioms?
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12-20-2013 , 09:33 AM
Since 2004 I have lost roughly 35K playing online poker. Is that degen enough?
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12-20-2013 , 10:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by t0pb1ll1n
FWIW I liked TimDawn's Titanic story, phake and not degen but quite funny.

Pokerplayer66 finally got banned. What was the final straw? After every terrible post he's ever made the one to get him banned must've been quite special
Thank you sir. It was just a prelude to some major degenning. Part Deux coming soon.

Quote:
Originally Posted by POCKET ROCKETS OOO
My last degen spree before I banned myself.
Man, this first sentence got my hopes up.

Last edited by TimDawn; 12-20-2013 at 10:29 AM.
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12-20-2013 , 10:18 AM
No

Maybe if it was all flips or martingaling. But since 04 come on bro thats not degening that's playing recreational for fun.
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12-20-2013 , 10:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by POCKET ROCKETS OOO
My last degen spree before I banned myself. This actually occurred about two weeks ago the night of my wedding. I wrote a quick snapshot of the event a few pages back. Maybe this can 'save' this thread for you guys bc it was a miserable Fing night for me.

I got married in Vegas this past June to my Gf of 10 years. We were just going to leave it at that but her family wasn't to happy about not being able to attend. We decided to throw a party for our friends a family, 200+ people. Planned an entire wedding in 4 months and then this happened the night of.

We had a hotel for everyone to stay and a bus to get everyone there. Party goes amazing everyone comes back to the hotel and parties some more. My buddy had brought he laptop to play music in the room for everyone. I decide as everyone is winding down to fire up his laptop and download party poker ( I'm in NJ ). I try everyone of my deposit options and they aren't working. CC's not going tru, bank wire keeps getting denied, ect.. Me being in my drunken state had to play and was set on getting a measly 20$ deposit on there. I didn't even wanna play poker, more or less just mess around on the rigged slots or BJ betting 10C a spin or a 1$ a hand. I ended up creating a new account for my wife without her knowing just so I can get the 15$ free they were offering.

I ended up getting to play for awhile and had it to almost around 100 bucks before loosing it all trying to martingale a small blackjack bet. I was wide awake at this point and got the urge to play some poker. I sneak over to her pocketbook and take out her debit card. I tell myself 50$ and no more, I had about 60 in cash that I would just give her in the morning. No reason to go into details about the hands but I lost the 50$ real quick as I was playing a .25/50 table with 1 buy in. I knew she would be furious about me using her card/signing up without her knowing so I just put the laptop aside and tried to go to bed.

Going to sleep wasn't really working out to well because of all the after party favors I decided to partake in. I laid there for about a half an hour next to my wife as shes passed out in her drunken slumber. I look in the corner of the room and see all of our cards we got as presents for our wedding. I know she wanted to open them together when we got home but I was wide awake and curious about how we did with our gifts as far as cash. I had a good 15K into the wedding and needed to make that back as it was our entire 'life roll' together.

I sit there for about an hour and open card after card. I kept hoping a few people would give us those prepaid Visa/MC gift cards so I can play more online. To my luck we got 3 for a total amount of 450$. I deposit the smalles one of 100$ first and loose it on slots. FML. Then the next 2 on BJ within about a half hour. I start to realize shes going to find out eventually that these gift cards have been used. I will deal with that issue when it comes, and it hasn't yet ...

I was real tilted about loosing 500$ total between the gifts and the original money I deposited off of her card. I knew it was a big mistake to do that without her knowing anyway. I just felt like absolute crap as I was starting to come down from the night activities and I go outside for a smoke while its starting to get light out. The taste of gambling with still in my mouth so I just sat there playing 'play money' blackjack until I caved and snap deposited 250$ off of her debit card. When I saw the 'Success your deposit has been approved' link come up I was sick to my stomach.

I ran that deposit up to my high point of around 2300$ and way beyond excited. One of my friends had woken up at this point and was watching my play blackjack. I could not loose a single hand of my 25$ bets. I had given myself a stop point of 2k. My last hand of 25$ before 2000 I get 4's against a dealer 6. Spilt and a double with a dealer pulling a 20 and im stuck at 1950. Doom switch engaged. In 15 minutes I loose the entire roll with my friend begging me to stop.

I had to explain the charges to my wife the next morning and she said self ban myself or this isn't going to work between us. I no longer have control of my finances. My work check goes into her account and all of my credit cards have been blocked for charges. Its sad to realize at 27 years old I can not control my own habits and addictions. With that said im looking forward to the future without all these small highs and super lows the gambling degeneracy has brought me over the past 7 or 8 years.

Brag-Shes still we me and hotter than ****** ever.

[ ] standard
[ ] degen
[x] next level degen


Doom switch engaged, I've never heard it said so perfectly. Think we've all been at that point where you cap urself if you either hit the lower amount or higher amount you stop, but the true mark of a dg is we never do but on your wedding night .


SLOW CLAP sir, you took it to another level
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12-20-2013 , 10:58 AM
friend of mine boosted his bankroll from 50 too 800. then had a 1600 pot cooler with Full house vs Quads. he was sick for 2 days :d
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12-20-2013 , 02:45 PM
Well *** me right. That self ban I just did online I guess also included land based casinos because Harrahs cancelled my room for NYE and said all of my comps are now locked for one year.

It also shows up on background checks as I just found out. If these casinos can screw me even more. FML.

Now I have to explain to my 5 friends who planned on a 'free' room for new years they will all have to shell out some cash bc I can't control my gambling.
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12-20-2013 , 02:57 PM
Nobody screwed you more than yourself, man.
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12-20-2013 , 03:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlickPoetry
Nobody screwed you more than yourself, man.
I endorse this statement.
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12-20-2013 , 04:00 PM
The Titanic Poker Story: Part Deux

Here's a link to Chapter One: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54...=#post41452699

Chapter 2 - Playing tight

Bart was still recollecting himself from the kung fu stranglehold that Arnold put him in. He now had a $3000 stack in front of him in a $5/$10 No-Limit Hold'em game. It was his first time playing but he felt like a true poker professional. He had such an adrenaline rush from winning that big pot off of Arnold. That, and almost getting strangled to death because Arnold thought he had cheated. Wild Bill took Bart to the side of the room and told him "Kiddo, you need to play tighter. Jack 4 offsuit is not a good hand. You need to play hands that are either pairs or suited connectors. You need to beat these guys with better hands than them otherwise they will think you are cheating them. Also, what in the hell are you doing holding the cards up to your face when you look at them? You need to conceal your cards when you look at them. Okay?". Bart nodded and said "Yeah, I knew the jack 4 wasn't a good holding. Which is why I tried to take the pot away before the flops and rivers. Trust me Bill, I've learned my lesson. I won't try to bluff guys that are on steroids or look like they want to kick my ass". Bill responded "Good boy. Let's go make some money". And back to the poker game they went.

Bart tightened his game up and Bill was taking down pot after pot. A few orbits later Bart looked down at AA on the button. He couldn't help but crack a smile. Bill noticed this and gave Bart a look like "Wtf are you doing? Keep your poker face". After this stare from Bill, Bart covered his face and calmed himself down. Paul announced "I raise, to 22. Quack quack". Now it was on Bart, he felt nervous and didn't know what to do. He shakingly threw out 7 green chips for $175. Paul had an upset look on his face. He started twitching a little bit and his lips were moving around like Hector Salomanca from Breaking Bad. Paul announced "Quack quack, I call". Paul had about $1000 back. The flop rolled out 29A.

Bart involuntarily laughed as he knew that he had flopped 3 of a kind. Paul looked up at the kid and said "What's so funny? You like that flop? Quack quack, I check". Instantaneously, Bart grabbed his chips and slid all of them into the middle, one stack at a time, covering Paul. Arnold outraged yelled "Hey! That's a string bet! Kid, you cant do that you have to slide your entire bet in one motion. You can only bet that first stack which is $100". Paul interrupted him and said "Arnold, it's ok let the bet stand. The kid is obviously new and doesn't know all of the rules. He intended to move all in. So I say let it stand. I call your bet kid. Ace king no good, quack quack." Paul tabled 22 for a flopped set.

Bart smiled and honestly said "That's a nice hand, but it doesn't beat three aces. Does it?" Bart flipped over his pocket rockets and the table was in an uproar. Arnold raged "THAT'S IT! THIS KID IS ANGLE SHOOTING! STRING BETTING ALL IN WHILE HE HAS THE NUTS! LETS TAKE HIM OUT BACK PAUL AND SHOW HIM WHAT WE DO TO ANGLE SHOOTERS!" Bill hesitated and then said "Arnold, the hand isn't even over yet at least run the deck out before you get so upset. He wasn't angling. Why in the world would he overbet jam with top set on such a dry board?" Arnold reluctantly announced "Fine. run it out". The dealer burned and turned a 2 on the turn. The table erupted in laughter. Arnold screamed "Hahaha, kid that what you get! What comes around, goes around.". The dealer burned and turned again, revealing the A as the river card.

No one said a word. There was dead silence in the room. Bart looked around and everyone in whole room just saw what happened. Bart didn't even know he won. Arnold's face started turning red, and then very red. Out of nowhere he grabbed the poker table and flipped it over. Chips and cards went flying all over the room. Luckily the table didn't land on anyone. Arnold slowly started walking towards Bart. He looked like his head was going to explode. His hands were shaking uncontrollably, fists clenched. Bart had already soiled his pants #1 and #2. Just as Arnold was within striking distance he paused. His eyes went wide and he grabbed at his chest. Then he fell over right on his back. Bill walked up to him and asked him if he was ok. His eyes were closed now. He felt his neck for a pulse and he said "Call and ambulance. He's dead, he has no pulse. Somebody help me move his body out of here. We can't have the police find out about these underground games or it's all of our asses."

Bart helped him move the body to the front of the bar and an ambulance arrived and took him away. Bill looked at Bart and said "Kid, you are the luckiest son of a bitch I've ever seen. Not only did you hit quads or quads. But you were about to be murdered by this man and he dies of a heart attack. We need to get you to Vegas. You might be running better than Jamie Gold did in the 2006 World Series of Poker. But you have a lot to learn". After this talk they went back to the poker room and surprisingly they got paid the actual money value for the stacks they had before the table was launched. Apparently they had cameras and could count each person's stack. Bart had about $5000 and that's what they paid him. Paul walked up to Bart and said "Hey it's Bart right? I've just gotta say nice hand. I've never lost with the quackers in my life. You might be the next Stu Ungar. Good luck to you, quack quack".

After they left the bar they had to dodge some police but they made it out unnoticed. They got into Bill's Caddy and he drove him home. Once they were at his house Bill patted Bart on the shoulder and said "Good work Barty, now give me the cash so I can pay you your cut." Bart handed him the cash and Bill counted it. "Here's your cut, $600. You get 20% of the profits like I said. You bought in for $2000 and profited $3000. Good work today, pack your bags. We're going to Vegas tomorrow." Bart stammered "But, but what about my job and family?" Bill laughed and said "Kid, poker is your new job. You will make more money than you have ever dreamed in this game. Or would you rather live with Mommy and Daddy with a minimum wage job the rest of your life?" Bart considered his options and told Bill that he was in. They shook on it and they were heading to Vegas tomorrow. Bart was so excited that night he could barely sleep.

End of Part Deux

To be continued...

Last edited by TimDawn; 12-20-2013 at 04:06 PM. Reason: Typos like a MFer
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12-20-2013 , 04:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by POCKET ROCKETS OOO
My last degen spree before I banned myself. This actually occurred about two weeks ago the night of my wedding. I wrote a quick snapshot of the event a few pages back. Maybe this can 'save' this thread for you guys bc it was a miserable Fing night for me.

I got married in Vegas this past June to my Gf of 10 years. We were just going to leave it at that but her family wasn't to happy about not being able to attend. We decided to throw a party for our friends a family, 200+ people. Planned an entire wedding in 4 months and then this happened the night of.

We had a hotel for everyone to stay and a bus to get everyone there. Party goes amazing everyone comes back to the hotel and parties some more. My buddy had brought he laptop to play music in the room for everyone. I decide as everyone is winding down to fire up his laptop and download party poker ( I'm in NJ ). I try everyone of my deposit options and they aren't working. CC's not going tru, bank wire keeps getting denied, ect.. Me being in my drunken state had to play and was set on getting a measly 20$ deposit on there. I didn't even wanna play poker, more or less just mess around on the rigged slots or BJ betting 10C a spin or a 1$ a hand. I ended up creating a new account for my wife without her knowing just so I can get the 15$ free they were offering.

I ended up getting to play for awhile and had it to almost around 100 bucks before loosing it all trying to martingale a small blackjack bet. I was wide awake at this point and got the urge to play some poker. I sneak over to her pocketbook and take out her debit card. I tell myself 50$ and no more, I had about 60 in cash that I would just give her in the morning. No reason to go into details about the hands but I lost the 50$ real quick as I was playing a .25/50 table with 1 buy in. I knew she would be furious about me using her card/signing up without her knowing so I just put the laptop aside and tried to go to bed.

Going to sleep wasn't really working out to well because of all the after party favors I decided to partake in. I laid there for about a half an hour next to my wife as shes passed out in her drunken slumber. I look in the corner of the room and see all of our cards we got as presents for our wedding. I know she wanted to open them together when we got home but I was wide awake and curious about how we did with our gifts as far as cash. I had a good 15K into the wedding and needed to make that back as it was our entire 'life roll' together.

I sit there for about an hour and open card after card. I kept hoping a few people would give us those prepaid Visa/MC gift cards so I can play more online. To my luck we got 3 for a total amount of 450$. I deposit the smalles one of 100$ first and loose it on slots. FML. Then the next 2 on BJ within about a half hour. I start to realize shes going to find out eventually that these gift cards have been used. I will deal with that issue when it comes, and it hasn't yet ...

I was real tilted about loosing 500$ total between the gifts and the original money I deposited off of her card. I knew it was a big mistake to do that without her knowing anyway. I just felt like absolute crap as I was starting to come down from the night activities and I go outside for a smoke while its starting to get light out. The taste of gambling with still in my mouth so I just sat there playing 'play money' blackjack until I caved and snap deposited 250$ off of her debit card. When I saw the 'Success your deposit has been approved' link come up I was sick to my stomach.

I ran that deposit up to my high point of around 2300$ and way beyond excited. One of my friends had woken up at this point and was watching my play blackjack. I could not loose a single hand of my 25$ bets. I had given myself a stop point of 2k. My last hand of 25$ before 2000 I get 4's against a dealer 6. Spilt and a double with a dealer pulling a 20 and im stuck at 1950. Doom switch engaged. In 15 minutes I loose the entire roll with my friend begging me to stop.

I had to explain the charges to my wife the next morning and she said self ban myself or this isn't going to work between us. I no longer have control of my finances. My work check goes into her account and all of my credit cards have been blocked for charges. Its sad to realize at 27 years old I can not control my own habits and addictions. With that said im looking forward to the future without all these small highs and super lows the gambling degeneracy has brought me over the past 7 or 8 years.

Brag-Shes still we me and hotter than ****** ever.
Jesus ****ing christ

I mean I get some of it, but I just cannot fathom how you would do all of this, finally hit a big run and still manage to lose all of it with a friend sitting right next to you. Just sickening.
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12-20-2013 , 05:23 PM
COULD BE WORSE
COULD BE SCOUSE
EATING RATS
IN YA COUNCIL HOUSE
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12-20-2013 , 05:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by POCKET ROCKETS OOO
Well *** me right. That self ban I just did online I guess also included land based casinos because Harrahs cancelled my room for NYE and said all of my comps are now locked for one year.

It also shows up on background checks as I just found out. If these casinos can screw me even more. FML.

Now I have to explain to my 5 friends who planned on a 'free' room for new years they will all have to shell out some cash bc I can't control my gambling.
This could be the best thing that ever happened to you.
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12-20-2013 , 06:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegasboy
Last night I shipped a donkament for $3700. It was one of the most well played, well run tourneys ever. Stealing, re-stealing, bubble abusing, getting action on big pairs, sucking out, everything. Then I played a HU S&G for $300, balance $4100. Wouldn't it be nice if I went to bed with a $5K balance?

So I continued playing HU hypers for $300. It went up and down until I was really feeling sleepy and had been brough down to $3K. So I moved to $500's. Then $1000's and before I know it, I have been delt some of the biggest monsters in my life, only to have them cracked by silly backdoors.

I now have $1300 left in my account. What the hell, it's $2300 or nothing. I pull a double up and had a 960-40 chip lead. He comes back to beat me. I have $300 left. Play a 300 HU hyper and lost it. $4100 that I really could have used gone. Zero!

I have never felt like literally puking after a bad beat as I felt this morning after blowing a $4100 donakament score playing HU hypers.

At least if I kept my $300 I would have been able to wake up knowing I still have enough to play a few donkaments and not having to deposit.
Came across this reading through this thread again. I've done this exact same thing more times than I can remember by now
Degen Stories.... Quote
12-20-2013 , 07:36 PM
I haven't played table games in about a year. But seriously I hate what BJ does with altering your bet size with doubling, surrendering, splitting all that bs, just play a straight game like roulette, or even money sports bets. So you won't get to some odd number and keep playing when you don't want to.

@Tim, I find your ****ty stories mildly amusing but wrong thread.
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12-20-2013 , 09:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackFr1day
COULD BE WORSE
COULD BE SCOUSE
EATING RATS
IN YA COUNCIL HOUSE
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