The amount of money matters somewhat in that if it's somebody who makes or has enough money that they should have it made and lose everything gambling, that's more pathetic than someone who really didn't have anything to begin with losing what little they have.

People who say only the amount of money lost matters are basically morons. And dont really seem to realize what "degen" actually means.

I would much rather read about some college kid who gambles away his last few hundred, than a story of Phil Ivey losing $50,000 at crabs.

It's not the money that matters in degen stories, it's the sickness of the situation. I mean who cares if a billionaire blows away a few million? I know I dont, and it's because we know it has no affect in his life. zero, none, zip.

^
Good point. +1

And btw its craps, not crabs.

LOL @ degen story elitists.

That goes against everything this thread is about.

Oh yeah. Crabs is something totally different, less pleasant :/

less arguing and more storytelling

Is this about this female companion of him at the London Casino?

I only have one real degen story which I consider to be degen enough to be postable as entertainment. Sure, there have been a number of drunken nights where I've cursed at other players, or even the one time I made a dude cry after he got busted because I was needling him so badly when he sucked out on me, but those are more of a "status quo" sort of thing than a "wow, that is actually entertaining/interesting to read about!"

This is going to be a long one, so buckle in.

Anyway, this was back in '06. My parents got two free rooms for the weekend at the Luxor in Vegas, and they said they would pay for my flight, as well as a couple extra nights at the hotel as an early birthday present if I would take off of work.. So, I'm all like "**** YEAH, VEGAS BABY! ...with my parents..."

Bankroll: $5000 for four nights

Everything is pretty uneventful until the night before the last. Yeah, I was pretty much ripped out of my gourd twenty-one hours of the day (gotta sleep sometime...), but it was all just regular "being drunk and gambling in Vegas stuff."

Bankroll: ~$3500 for two remaining nights

Saturday night, I say to myself "self... we are in Vegas, and nobody is going to know who the **** you are, so just make up some story about yourself that you can cover, and let's get ourselves laid." Needless to say, I am not generally Don Juan, and the only game I have with the ladies is Scrabble. So, I shower up, put on my best threads, have a few drinks at the bar, and start looking for a blackjack table.

By the way, the blackjack table always has the highest probability of there being lonely, and at least semi-attractive women. Well, at least attractive enough as to where you wouldn't feel the need to take a branding iron to your brain in order to scorch away the memory of her afterward.

I stalk the casino like a damned chicken hawk; eying every single table, and also calculating the odds of there being at least one single, non-boner-killing female there. Only one $25 table meets these requirements, so I sit down, get $500 in green, and start playing.

Bankroll: ~$3000

There are four other people at this table, three on third base side, and one old asian lady playing first. I take the seat in the middle, and immediately start chatting it up with these women. It turns out that the oldest one is the mother of the younger two, and the youngest one (about my age of 25 at the time) was getting married, so they were all having a little bachelorette party for her in Vegas that weekend. So, I sort of single out the older sister (who was 33), and let the other two do whatever they wanted. Sure, I made it seem like I was engaged (heh.. get it?) in their conversation, but I honestly couldn't even tell you what either of them looked like.

Well, I made up this whole story about myself that I owned a successful business back home, and just flew into Vegas for the weekend by myself to relax, and have some fun, etc, whatever... she bought it. She had to leave with the other two after about couple hours of flirting, so I got her number, and asked her out for the next night, i.e. my last night for the weekend.

Now, I have bedded a few good looking chicks in my time, but I am used being with girls who would be described as “just average,” and there's even been a couple howlers in there as well. This chick was near a 10 though. You know that scene in Joe Dirt where Christopher Walken is describing what his wife looked like? Yeah, think of it like that... honey blonde hair, legs that went on for days, a pert rack... all of it. So, you can imagine my dick's surprise at the opportunity with which it was being presented. It was just staring up at me like “Well, boss... what do I do now?” to which I replied “Dude, we are flying over uncharted waters, I have no idea.”

The next night comes, and I call her to go out. She shows up downstairs, and is absolutely stunning. She is wearing this gold blouse which somehow isn't gaudy, and light-blue jean mini-skirt that somehow doesn't look trashy. Her hair is done up like she spent hours at the salon, her makeup is perfect; this girl is just a complete vision.

I'm completely sweating like I have my entire roll in on a stone bluff, but I'm somehow managing to keep myself together on the outside. Being the complete idiot I am, instead of taking her out to a club, or something like that, where do I take her? Penn, and mf'ing Teller... like a donk. At least we had front row seats. Thankfully, she was just nerdy enough to actually like the show, and we hit it off pretty well.... somehow.

After the show, we sit at the bar in the Rio. Of course, being the gentleman, I'm paying for all of the drinks, and right when we are about to leave to go to an actual club, she pulls out a prescription bottle, grabs a pill, and downs it with the rest of her drink.

“What was that?” he said.
“Oh, it was just an oxy, no big deal,” she replied.
He thought, “Well, this night is about to get really interesting.”

Bankroll: $2900 9-hours until flight leaves

This is where it starts to get a little fuzzy. We go to the first club (don't ask me which), get in because she's the best looking girl in line, and drink/dance/drink. This girl is a freakin' champ when it comes to alcohol. I'm still paying for everything, but I don't care because I'm thinking “How the crap am I going to spend $3000 in just a few hours.” Although, looking back on the situation, I should have added “IN VEGAS” to the end of that thought at the time because then it would have made complete sense to me.

Bankroll: $2700 7 hours until flight leaves

We go to the next club, and get in because I slip the door guy a bill (Bankroll: $2600), and then proceed to do more drinking, more dancing, and more drinking. This time, the dancing has got much more provocative, and it is also the point I find out that she isn't wearing panties. +1 for me. We are there for a couple more hours until we decide to go back to the Luxor.

Bankroll: $2500 4.5 hours until flight leaves

We get back, and instead of going up to either of the rooms, she wants to gambool. Except, she doesn't want to do it with her money because, as I learned at this time, she's tapped for the weekend; she wants to do it on my dime. So, I shrug, and figure that I have more than enough left for another hour, or so of gambling. Well, with alcohol doing what alcohol does, i.e. causing you to make bad decisions, I definitely make a few of them, and we decide to play some $5 slots. At this point, I'm just not even keeping track of my money anymore because we're obviously still drinking. We even hit the poker table for an extremely short stint at some point.

Finally, we make it back up to my room, and decide to order a bottle of Grey Goose from room service. As if either of us could drink any more anyway.

3 hours until flight leaves

After we call down to room service, just as things were starting to take a turn for the decidedly “hotter,” I wake up to my parents keying into the room because room service couldn't raise anyone to pay for the bottle, only to find me in bed, clothed (both fortunately, and unfortunately for me) with some strange girl they've never met, and a flight to catch in 90 minutes.

I start scrambling like I've never scrambled before, and I just cannot seem to wake this girl up. I'm throwing my clothes into my suitcase without folding them, all while trying to rouse this person who is snoring like she has the world's worst case of sleep apnea.

I finally manage to get everything to fit into my suitcase, and am ready to get out of there, when I shake the crap out of her, and am like “You have to get going, I have a plane to catch right NOW, so... bye.” She somehow manages to stumble out of the door. I make a quick check around the room for anything I might have missed, take a urination break, and hit the elevators.

I get down to the bottom floor, and come around the corner heading to the lobby from the room elevators, only to see about a half-dozen EMT's. Of course, being the gawker that everyone is, I look to see that they're taking care of a girl who is bleeding from her head after it juxtaposed itself with the floor... a girl wearing a gold blouse, and jean skirt.

I tap one of the guys on the shoulder, tell them which room she's in, and get the eff out of dodge before any sort of authorities show up. I mean, after all, I had a plane to catch.

Brag: Had a completely amazing night with the absolute hottest girl I've ever had a I've ever taken on a date
Beat: Passed out at the exact moment before getting laid
Variance: Still had $30 left to buy myself a magazine, a water, and lunch at the layover in Atlanta.

Tl;dr:

Went to Vegas.
Pretended to be someone who I wasn't.
Got a date with a really hot chick.
Hot chick almost dies.
I become the butt of a long-running family joke.

ugh tldr at least u tried to paragraph it with bolded text i guess..

I like the story, peachfuzzle. Thanks for posting.

Peachfuzzle, I really liked the story too! I hope you have more.

Solid story. I was rooting for you, but no dice Oh well, still I night to remember I guess :P

what happened to the girl

They are now happily married.

Haha. I actually have no idea. I tried to get hold of her a few days later, but she never responded.

I'm guessing that she is okay considering I haven't ever been.contacted by the police. Lol

Generally speaking people don't luckbox well paying jobs, they earn them.

not true. its so funny how people in good spots think everyone can be just like them.

Here's a story.

My family is not and never was in a good spot and I've always had to grind.

For whatever reasons all, literally all, my friends are wealthy and literally have a free ride through school and everything until they land their secure well-paying career.

One of my friends then tells me "It's okay bro, life's a grind".

My point is that people who are born into or have made a solid life for themselves otherwise, easily lose sight of what life is like otherwise.

When a wealthy person talks of how 'easy it is' blah blah blah, it's probably the most ignorant thing anyone can say because it's simply not. Life is a poker game, you have to play the hand that you're dealt, but such as poker (economically speaking) life is also a zero-sum game (with few exceptions). In order for one to gain, one other must lose. If you look at how our money system flows money to the top in a pyramid fashion, you also see it is like a poker economy. The similarities are endless, as I'm sure most of you know.

The problem is, in life, as in poker, is that when anyone talks about 'success' or 'being successful' it is almost instantaneously associated with money. This is a fundamental flaw in our thinking unless you believe our race is inherently selfish and greedy, not empathetic, helping, and caring. This is because what gets value in our society is not how pragmatic it is, but how scarce it is. If we continue on our current pace, the inevitable separation between rich and poor becomes so great, and the rich become so powerful, history tends to point us towards fascism.

Any person that considers themselves 'wealthy' and insists that opportunity is all equal in our society, and that the only way to truly benefit society and economy is through personal self-gain, is precisely the self-perpetuated outcome of a society that values wealth and greed over health and good deed.

While free market capitalism allows for stunning amounts of growth over a short period of time (especially while using a fractional reserve system), the inevitable occurs between the rich and poor, and what we are living through right now is just the beginning of this. The only way to stop this while still keeping basic capitalist values is to shift towards a model that focuses on the redistribution of wealth.

.

ruo just killed the thread.

no just certain people need to wake up because frankly lately ive been getting real sick of a lot of bull**** in this world. like **** HONEY BOO BOO

I got no issues with Honey BooBoo. It's the people that watch the show.

I think we're derailing

k back on topic degens gonna degen i just busted my roll again etc..

Commie itt

lmao the other funny part is when i tell this story, how many people think what im saying has anything to do with communism and 'commie' is the usual response lmao..

i know i know that was bait but still