And it actually worked in the end?

yeah, visa chargeback ftw

well.. degn win imh

Part 3 please sweat!

mr fibbles in the house you the man

LOWOWOL hahahaha

Id like to see the other side as well, just for fusies!

maybe its just me but I would take the sixth girl over the 3rd and 5th girl (numbering from the left)

the 3rd girl looksa likea man.

proper order: 1, 2, 4, 6, 3 (assuming I find lady parts), 5

654321 ugly ones always try harder.

DaleB,

Please Moooor brah, your killing this with degen's degening. Reminds me of 5 years ago when I was roaming around AC/NJ/Philly from cardroom to cardroom.

Fatties 2 IMO.

Like my buddy says, "Its Fridaaaaay, let's go hog hunting! C'mon bro I go for the chunky ones because they have the lowest self esteem, lets rock and roll".

Happy Friday to all my fellow Degenz

Best few words of the english language strung together in the history of the world.

I'm not one to judge.

But the ranking should be 2, 1, 3, 4, 6, 5.

Obv.

The order is obviously correct as posted by Sweat with only the last two in question. If you're that low down the totem pole it really doesn't matter.

Sweet plz hurryyy

DaleB srsly saving last few months of this thread.

DaleB srsly saving last few months of this thread.

like it needed saveing degen thread never needs saveing always class ( expect from tools like you)

honestly i dont think i would hit any of those. maybe number 1, if she was like a doctor or really funny or something.

admittedly, having standards does lower my degen level :/

you wouldn't hit 1 or 2? are you into ballons or amputees or something?!

Post a pic of yourself please, you hunk of spunk.

And lol at "if she was like a doctor".. Are doctors notoriously good in bed? Are you 16 years old perchance?

Edit: Oh dear god. You've been a member since 2002 and that's how your mind works?! I'm hedging my bets on "lonely, overweight American". Am I close?

Intelligence level.

[x] sinking fast

Upon viewing my previous scale. It's obviously as personal preference thing. Number 6 looks like she'd probably do anal so I'm prepared to move her up while 4 and 5 look slightly ******ed.


I'll admit number 3 does look a bit masculine. However the fact that the creator may or may not have allegedly had a handjob from a Thai ladyboy in the past may be a sign o his inability to pickup on such things. However that is a whole other story.


Part 3: - Sex and Candy
Warning – contains adult themes

Friday pm. In my hotel room

The lights go out and I approach the bed. It’s dark, but not so dark I can’t see the girl sitting on my bed. She looks like a plump turkey fattened up nicely for Christmas. All breast meat and drumsticks. I get straight down to business. It’s clear she is fairly inexperienced and I realise that this is probably a big deal to her. This may explain the relentless kissing she is putting me through. It’s starting to gross me out and I’m finding it hard to breathe. I’m having flashbacks to the capsicum spray and decide to manoeuvre out of this.

I take a leaf from our canine friends and decide that this is the way to proceed. From back here I can avoid both her kissing and burning lustful stares. She freezes in motion and tenses up.
“What’s wrong ?” I say
“Are you going to put it in my ass?” she meekly asks over her shoulder.
“I wasn’t going to, but yeah we can do that if you want” I reply. Her head hangs down and I can see her body tensing up. “Have you ever done it before?” I ask
She looks back at me again and there are now tears in her eyes. She shakes her head.

I tell her not to worry and that she should save that for someone special. I laugh and continue with my work. She cried for the duration of this. I moved to a position where I could see her crying face in the wardrobe mirror and watch myself working it like a ****ing boss. It seemed an eternity, I’m sure several minutes must have passed before we were done.

Upon finishing I’m immediately into the shower and then change my clothes. I walk back into the room and she’s still naked on the bed where I left her, I was hoping that she would have left by now. She’s motioning for me to join her. I suggest that we meet up with the others for some drinks, it’s still pretty early. She reluctantly dresses herself and we exit the building. I call around and find out that the guys are now at the Casino. I let them know I’ll be there shortly. On the way out I grab about 2K cash from the safe.

We arrive at the Crown and I tell her I want to get some food first. I find a KFC and buy myself a buger and fries. She says she didn’t want anything. I grab a seat and then my phone rings. It’s Bray. I excuse myself from the table and wander off a short distance so we can speak freely. We decide on a place to meet and I hang up and return to my table. I’m immediately disgusted.

The sight I return to is the fat chick devouring my entire KFC meal. She’s stuffing fries into her face and the burger is torn to shreds. She’s taken the top off the burger and eaten about half of the chicken and then just left the rest randomly thrown about the tray. She’s still smashing fries into her face with her chubby greasy fingers. She’s so into the experience that she hasn’t even noticed me standing there. I about face and disappear into a crowd of people to find my friends.

I meet up with the guys at a Blackjack table. They’re pretty smashed and Bray has hit a hotsreak and is up about 1K. I back Bray for a while and then when a seat opens up I sit down. We catch up and I answer a million questions about the biggie and enjoy a couple of drinks. The dealer changes and this gorgeous Asian girl is now dealing our table. I immediately start trying to flirt with her. She’s polite enough but stays professional and doesn’t take the bait too much. I start running hot and I’m quickly up about $1500. We get more drinks in and my good run continues. I’m now clearly up over $5000. The guys are carrying on and making noise and a few busto drunks start standing around watching me. I seemingly can’t lose and run my stack up to about 8K profit. the dealer changes again and I lose 4 or 5 hands in a row. I’m out. I know how this **** works. The new male dealer is a middle-aged guy with glasses. They’ve brought in the big guns to win it back. I scowl at him as I’m stacking up my chips to leave and say something to that affect to him.

We move off to one of the clubs for a while for some drinking and dancing. I’ve got nearly 10K in chips in my pockets and every time I buy a drink I start freaking out thinking I’ve dropped chips in the club. I decide I need to go cash these in and leave the club. I’m walking through the gaming area and I see an even hotter dealer at a Blackjack table. I pull up a seat and decide I’ll blast off a few hundred while flirting with her.

I immediately start losing every hand. This bitch starts pulling 21’s every second hand. Every time I double I hit a ****ing 4 and she pulls some unlikely combination of cards to hit. I’ve reached into my pocket to reload a bunch and I don’t even know what’s left in there. After the seemingly millionth time of hitting 18 and losing I reach into my pocket and pull out my remaining chips. They’re all small denomination and I hold them in my hand trying to count them. There’s maybe $30 left. I look up and the hot dealer is just staring at me, I’m completely aware of how pitiful I look right now and decide to leave.

I head to the nearest bar. I ask the bartender if he has any $30 drinks. He names some kind of cocktail that’s worth that and I take it. I down the thing in a few gulps and head for the exit.

I feel sick. I don’t know if it’s the booze, the fact I just lost 10K in less than an hour or something to do with going down on a fat chick. I head towards the exit. I have no money left on me. I don’t take my cards to casinos so my access to more money was safely tucked away at the hotel.

I start walking back to the hotel which is a short distance away with the intention of going to bed. When I arrive there the same cute girl is working the lobby. I avoid eye contact with her and get in the elevator. I get to my room and typically I can’t find my swipe card. I reach for my phone and that’s gone too. What the **** is happening here? I head down to the lobby and approach the desk. I explain my situation and she seems disinterested. Eventually I manage to convince her I stay there and have to fill in some forms and she rescans my ID. She tells me I’ll be charged for the swipe card and I really don’t care at this stage. She gives me a replacement and I head back upstairs.

I lay on the bed and start remembering the disgusting things that were going on here earlier. Images of quivering blubber and fat fingers all shiny with KFC grease. I’m disgusted with myself and I’m remembering the feeling of having 10K in my pocket. I head to the toilet and vomit then immediately back to the safe and another 1K into my pocket. This is now all of my spending money for this trip. At the last minute I double back to grab my ATM card. I head out into the street and walk briskly back to the Crown.

I get a drink and find another seat at a blackjack table. I find a lower limit one and I’m just betting $25 a hand. This table is full of young people about the same age as me. They’re having a great time gambling it up and carrying on with their pretty girlfriends. One of the guys wins a bit and is quickly up a few hundred $. His friends are high-fiving him and the girls are cooing around. I immediately despise him.

I’m breaking even but not caring. I just want this douchebag to stop winning. There he is sitting there with $600 in front of him thinking he’s the ****ing Great Gatsby incarnate. Here’s me a ****ing professional poker player for ****s sake. These idiots are completely unaware that I’ve bought into online MTTs with more money than he has spread right now. The fact I only have 1K in front of me and not much more than that in my savings account is beyond the point. I’m a ****ing big deal and these pricks should know that.

The douchebag starts to up his bets as his stack grows. I’m not being outdone by this preppy ****ing clown. I start matching his bets. He continues to win and I start to lose. He ups his bets again to $75 a hand this time. I do the same. He keeps ****ing winning and in no time flat I’m busto.
I’m once again broke. This time I remember I now have my ATM card. I head out into the lobby to the machines. I withdraw another $1K. This is ridiculous. My account has a daily withdrawel limit of $1000. This means there’s another $400 sitting there that Ic an’t access for 24 hours.

I head back in and go get myself a drink. The bartender eyes me suspiciously. He makes me drink a glass of water before he’ll give me a scotch. What the **** is this ****??!! I’m completely and utterly offended at the idea that this man should think I’m drunk and I tell him so. He says just drink the water and I’ll give you the drink. I inform him that I’ve just finished the late shift 30 mins prior in my occupation as a police officer and I am in no way intoxicated. He looks unimpressed. I then inform him that I have a lazy eye and often mistaken for being drunk. I not so subtly hint that I may or may not have exacted legal action against establishments in the past for their discrimination against my handicap. He advises me to drink the water. I do and he produces the scotch I requested. I down it in one hit and order another. He sighs, pours me the drink and I take off back on to the gaming floor.

I see the gorgrous Asian dealer from earlier that I had won all the monies from. She smiles as I walk past but I continue on. I have bigger fish to fry. Where the **** is Gatsby? Eventually I find the table and Gatsby is still there. I delight in the fact that his stack of chips is now considerably less than when I was last there. I smile at one of the girls as I sit down. I bring out my fresh 1K of chips and open two boxes.

Heater. I’m playing $100 a box and I can’t lose. I’m not getting excited. **** that, that’s for losers like Gatsby over here. I’m a ****ing poker player thank you very much, money is meaningless to me. I yawn and act as bored as possible every time the dealer hand me over my winnings. I quickly have 2K in front of me and Gatsby is losing. Gatsby is making all kinds of beginner errors and I am delighting in it. This loser has obviously never even heard of basic strategy.

At some point around this time I lost the ability to see clearly. I could no longer make out the cards and was having to use the dealer audible to make my decisions. The waitress came around and I order another scotch. Shortly later a beer was sent flying off the table. ****ing kids, unbelievable how they can’t hold their drink. A couple minutes later there’s a tap on my shoulder and I hear ‘Excuse me sir”
I turn around to see 3 large people behind me. I wait for my eyes to focus and notice they appear to be security.

“What do you meatheads want?” I ask

keep it coming. KFC part is just

A+

HAHAA

I was somehow expecting the KFC girl to be back at the motel room or something. Crazy good story