I have been a lurker for 2 years here learning and now I want to share my story..

I first started playing poker on pacific poker at 5/c/10c with my bankroll 25 dollars. I built up to 50 dollars and then I deposited more money after I lost everything because my wife called me a prick one day I was in the middle of hand. I have done some crazy things when on tilt. I used to take my girlfriends hairbrush and bite down on it everytime I lose and and make a "urghhhhh" noise. One day I caught my reflection in mirror and scared myself. I wondered if I was possessed.

Fast forward to recently, I had just managed to secure a job at a department store and was happy to get the job but I thought of nothing but poker everyday. I wanted to be a big star and make massive money so after being there three weeks I started to rob the place. I would take $1000 dollars a week from the other cash register and steal shirts and jeans and sell them on ebay. I soon had saved up $19 000 and I put this on fulltilt. me and the other guy both got fired cus they couldnt prove it. I told the other guy he is a bad friend to cover tracks.

I started playing 2/4 dollar game at first and I was winnig so good I read the book called theory of poker and signed upto cardrunners which I thought helped me so much I wore sunglasses because of eyestrain and played 8 tables. I soon made $13523 dollars and bought my girl a poodle. I moved upto 5/10 when I had 80 buy-in and I crushed all the regulars on full tilt.

I felt like I was invincible. I eat and sleeped poker. I had dreams about full houses and big pairs. one time I had a dream about a woman and her breasts turned into KK and I said "I call, I call your tits." I was distressed so i told my girlfriend and she got mad over a dream???? I started to move up and play the odd 6 handed 25/50nl game on betfair. I started out running really good and then it happened! I lost 10 buy ins to disgusting beats!!! 2 outer, 3 outer, 1 outer OMGZZZZ. I would flop top 2 pair guy would push all in with flush draw i'd call and I was losing 93% percent in these situations. I was so mad that I punched my monitor and now it fades to a million pixels and to keep it on I have to hold it with my finger and thumb I managed to get a peg to save finger strain but I was so mad that I called my girlfriend a "troll face" and she went to live with her mom, but she didn't take the dog and the dog was not even house trained ,it kept pissing everywhere, I got major tilted.

Then one night it happened. I was having a good night and managed to win back 14 buy ins and I was just about to quit for the night and i'd called my girlfriend on the phone and talked her into coming home in few days. I promised no poker for the weekend, no moodiness and to take her out for a meal to say sorry. I think I agreed to all this because I had won a few pots. Just before I was gonna shut down my table I got dealt AA in the big blind, and some guy raised to 800, I raised to 2400, he pushed all in for 27k..I had to call. He flipped over AA and made a flush on the river.............OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG)"(&U")$(*$"&)"$, to think about it makes me want to punch cows in the face OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I was so sick I threw my mouse at the wall and screamed I was so angryyyyyy,I pulled my book case over and put my foot through a glass cabinet that I realised just after had been a gift from my girlfriends mom. I shut the computer off and went for a walk in the dark talking over the hand, about how I couldnt have done anything. Then over the next two days I lost the rest of my roll at 5/10 to the most disgusting beats, OMG...I had AA vs KK, lose, I had set of queens, lose to runner straight 5 times in a row, I had 17 cases of set vs overset and I lost to a straight flush 4 times, and a better straight flush once in 29k pot which which was 2 days before my girfriend was due home...I had no money no food, and I hadn't changed my underwear in a week. I needed cash badly. Realy badly. I called my friend john and asked to borrow 5k and he thought I was crazy...5k cmon, 5k is nothing to a poker player john you idiot!!!!!!

I couldnt get any money, I just wanted back in the game, I walked outside and it was raining and I seriously blubbed like a child. I was so angry with myself, maybe it was karma for the department store. Then I did the most inforgivable thing. I sold my girlfriends poodle for 8 buy ins at 50nl and I started to grind that **** out. when my girlfriend got home she asked where the dog was and I said that it ran away and she freaked out and asked why I didnt go look, I said I looked round the house for it and in the backyard but it probably wanted to live in the country in its natural habitats. She went NUTS and started hitting me and thats when I squashed her face up against the window I know I shouldnt have done but I was so MAD!!!!!!!!! I mean why couldnt she understand how a man feels when he ahs to drop from $25/50 to 50c games...omg I am so mad thinking about it... so anyways, she said she was leaving and I said "go then u fat sloth puppet", (she is fat) and she cried, I didnt give a ****..I was really angry at this point and wanted to prove just how mad so I ripped her dress and the stuffed it down the toilet, she said she hated me " you needle dick idiot" and she left and I seriously thought about throwing a milk bottle at her ass but instead I threw a slipper at her car..then I I went inside and tripped pover the coffee table and smashed a mirror with a picture frame. I started 5 tabling 50nl..I won a few buy ins and I felt like I could turn this all around..but then I lost most of it I was so mad I went to the 1000nl OmahaHi/lo and called david benyamine rude things

The next day I felt poker and numbed my brain like too much drugs, I felt like I was in a haze of poker, an alice in wonderland world and I almost felt like I was gripped by a wild fever which had been poker for as,long as I could remember. I added it up and poker had been my life now for 8 years! I hadn't missed a day playing poker in 8 years! I was addicted and justifed by calling it my job..I must say I played a very balanced game until right at the end, but I was miserable for a large percentile of those 8 years which chnaged from day to day and week to week despite the money. Today I sat there shivering in a blanket playing 2 tables of 50nl and I started thinking about how I was a shadow of the man I used to be..I was the most miderable I had ever been, even worse than when i had terrible acne. I felt it was all due to poker and how it destoyed me and took everything from me including my woman and my poodle..

I went busto today and I am never playing poker again.

GG.

wat

all i c is a big block of letters

cliffnotes plz

Oh ok

[ ] happened

/wrist

fakestory ldo

that was awesome well done op

ths did happen so *(&(&*&^ you john miller

obv level but i rofled hella hard

bad beat

fake but funny as ****

best part is when you called her tits lmao

[ ]that was awesome
[ ]well done op
[x]level
[x]no cliffnotes

ahahhaa

this op made my week

ahahahaha 5* story

[ ] op got rid of his acne

v. funny read. just one paragraph too long.

sad

You let her buy a POODLE ???

brittessential?

Lost me here. Maybe you have two different houses... but I doubt it.

WHAT? I dont have a wife, just an ex wife ( who left me for poker) an ex girlfriend and no poodle

Wut

this

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