Thanks for checking. I apologize for my latest poastings, I don't even know what I meant with it exactly. I wasn't even that drunk, I had three long islands in a bar and a stella at home, as far as I could see. Well, the long islands are killers esp how they make it in HK.
Anyways, I'm not much of a suicidal person, you never know but I don't think that's how I will leave this planet.
Recently, quite honestly, it's a mixed bag, HK is still a fun place in many respects, parties and you meet a lot of interesting peeps and other things all the time, I have made many friends there, prolly moar than at any other place. At the same time HK is an adventure every day pretty much, you never know what's going to happen, and it prolly makes you age much more quickly than at many other places. And especially that last year or so has not been the easiest, many troubles at work, there's a good chance I will quit that mid year when my current contract runs out.
Also, there was/is a woman who like, at least for a while, I thought it could be something major, I really liked her, and that's saying something, really 99% of girls IDGAF at this stage of my life. But it was very different with her, a lot of drama but I was hopeful, I even thought being with her could maybe help me lead a more steady, healthy and whatnot life which would have certainly been welcomed. Foolish me. I recommend you to study the words of Buddha; You should never seek refuge in anyone else but yourself.
But it doesn't matter anyway, that relationship isn't exactly looking great at this time either, we are probably just too different. Some other things but it doesn't really matter. I guess I'm just fed up, I kinda know that I should start a new life, again, prolly somewhere else, but I also currently kinda lack the drive, I'm too old for that kinda ****, I guess I should have a family and lead a regular life now, but I suppose peeps like us are not made for that, prolly.
Ofc somehow related and not helping all of that, prolly, is that I developed some of the kinda not most healthy habits especially when it comes to alcohol, sleeping pills, and a few other vices. But that's also HK and the environment, everyone is working themselves to death, including myself pretty much, especially over the last year, and then you just need something to destress occasionally. It's not like 35 hr working week, wellness facilities at work and whatever other crazy stuff you may have in Europe.
I shouldn't complain too much, I had a pretty interesting life thus far, also my financial situation is quite ok, so I don't need to hunt the next work immediately. I'm prolly not going to take up another employee job anyway, I'm just not that kinda person, I need moar freedom. In any case, I think I may just have to take an extended break before doing anything else.
So just to say, thanks for listening to my therapy session. Sometimes when I've had a couple of drinks, that kind of stuff comes up in my head and obv I'm not happy with some of these things, esp the girl and the job part, it hurts, and it may lead to some odd statements, but don't worry I can manage.