Earlier tonight, at a table that had been playing very placid and predictable, a maniac joined us. Things livened up quickly, and included a few hands that ended up being all in preflop. Including one where the maniac called a shove with 7 2 off suit, and hit 2 pair for the win...

I was waiting for a chance to pick up some of the money flowing around, when I found myself holding pocket 9 9 in the small blind. Maniac makes it $25 from across the table, and one other person calls. I called, wanting to keep the pot small and see the flop, rather than simply trying to get it all in preflop.

The flop came down KK9. Bingo! I check, maniac bets $30, and I call. Turn is an A. I check, maniac bets $30, and I raise to $80. He's going to fold, but I comment on how one of has a club draw (2 clubs were on the board) and it might be either one of us - but I was sure that it was going to hit. He finally calls.

River is another A. Ouch. Bad feeling, but I lead out for $50, he raises to $160, and I call. Yup - he had caught runner runner AA to beat me.....

A few hands later, on a hand I had folded, the preflop action saw 4 people go all in. Over $1100 in the main pot, a few hundred more in the side pot.

AA vs. KK vs. AK (with the A of diamonds) vs. A 10 (maniac has to have something, right?)

Poker Stove shows:

Text results appended to pokerstove.txt

39,096,288 games 0.072 secs 543,003,999 games/sec

Board:
Dead:

equity win tie pots won pots tied
Hand 0: 77.893% 77.52% 00.37% 30307962 145280.25 { AA }
Hand 1: 10.091% 09.99% 00.10% 3907041 38306.25 { KK }
Hand 2: 04.025% 03.65% 00.37% 1428354 145280.25 { AdKh }
Hand 3: 07.991% 07.62% 00.37% 2978784 145280.25 { ATs, ATo }

But in real life, 4 diamonds come down and the AK - with almost no outs available - wins the hand! The AA took the side pot.

Wild night. Just wish I could have hit something! Oh, well, there's always tomorrow.

Lee

cool

my mother once drunkenly told me i was conceived in a safeway in the aisle next to the lettuce...this was some time after she told me that it was actually next to the dumpster outside of the pf changs.

my mother tells me many things. every morning i see my phone has voice messages from her talking about her latest sexual conquest. she addresses me as sylvia. doctors have told me my mother has created an imaginary friend, and believes that i died in a grease fire many years ago, and created sylvia as a coping method.

the delusion always served as ironic to me. here she thought i was dead so she creates this creature who she can only talk to after she gets to my voicemail. she always starts off her messages by saying "thank you for giving me your new number sylvia."

i have changed my phone number 47 times since my "death." not once have i ever informed my mother or anyone who knows my mother what my actual number is, but somehow her imaginary friend knows the number every single time. this baffles the doctors and worries me because she closes every single message with "when i finally see you sylvia, i will murder you by slitting your neck right under your beard, and shaving off your curly brown hair and making a noose out of it to hang you with.

sylvia is a girl's name, and yet she has described for sylvia my beard and my noose-like hair qualities.

for the last week police officers have stayed outside of my house on guard in case my mother comes. i have 7 shotguns rigged to fire at each door or hallway that leads into my room, which i have barricaded myself in. there is a makeshift moat outside of my bedroom window. i have filled the moat with snakes.

my mother hates snakes but you wouldn't know it hearing her voice mails. i have heard 74 different slang terms for the word "penis" including "snake."

i am not happy

one day i saw a figure that looked like my mother standing about 100 yards outside of my front door holding up a boombox playing "anyway you want it" by journey. she says nothing. she doesn't move. she doesn't even blink. i considered shooting her right then and there but i've been advised by lawyers that i would likely be arrested for first degree murder.

i cannot step foot in a safeway anymore. which is rather unfortunate because they carry this delicious tomato bisque soup that you microwave. every spoonful is heaven as long as it doesn't burn the roof of your mouth.

i have had many interpretations of what i think heaven is. at first i thought it was a place all dogs go to, then evolved to all good people. now i think heaven would be a pool of lukewarm tomato bisque soup that i'd swim in and never drown, and i could eat all day and i wouldn't take in any calories.

but then that reminded me of that book about that kid where anything he touched turned to chocolate. it was based off king midas and his golden touch, but it was a child and it was chocolate. and he got so upset. and he even turned his mother into chocolate.

i would not enjoy it if my mother turned into chocolate. i suspect it would taste bitter. and have worms

wtf?!

if there's one thing in this life that i have learned about worms it's that they are not a good source of nutrition. i assumed that they must be, that their regenerative properties were given to them because they were this supernatural being incapable of death. the immortal worm.

i wouldn't like to be immortal. i just couldn't imagine what my bone structure would be like when i turn 5000 years old. my hip would probably be made of dust. plus by then i'm sure we'll have experienced at least 7 nuclear holocausts.

the nuclear bomb was probably the worst invention in the history of man. sure it helped us defeat the japanese in world war II, but at what cost? the cold war, iran, osama bin laden, saddam hussein. if everyone has a bomb we're all ****ed. political scientists have discussed at length the idea of nuclear deterrence but i just don't buy into it. if i have a water balloon and you have a water balloon, the theory is that nobody will throw one because they know there will be repercussions of getting wet. but that's bull****. if i have a water balloon, someone is getting wet. i'm not worried about the collateral damage of my shirt and/or pants. i suspect the government of these nations/osama bin laden are much the same way.

i was told the condom used during my conception that broke was in fact a water balloon. it certainly explained a lot. like why the doctors found a water balloon in the egg of my mother's uterus after doing their first ultrasound.

ultrasound always sounded like a funny word to me. ultra sound implies that something is ridiculously loud but the ultrasound makes no noise

where was the 2/5NL game at? i hate when idiots win

wow that is crazy.

Some jewels just got dropped

OP read and reread this and put it into practice

/end thread

I lol'd several times
A+ thread

Greatest hijack ever.

saved the thread imo

ItsRainingMen saves thread

OP plays river terribly

I get wild from the hands.

I like

My thoughts exactly

the first story was the best one imo. also very good hijack, i didnt even read the op

live poker sounds rigged

BINGO!

4 star thread after 2 pages? :/

[ ] 2 pages

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