i was watching deal or no deal

now most the offers they offer are complete ripoffs

like the other day some lady was offered $87,000 when she had 3cases left $500, $50,000, $500,000 when her EV is about $180,000.

well today it was down to two cases $5000 and $7500 so his EV is $6250 well the guy got offered $6500 so instead of getting jipped he actually got offered more

yet he turned it down going for the $7500 and ended up walking away with $5000

recently i've been playing 2/4 while i wait with the intention of betting the pass line with 5X odds as soon as i'm up 60 bucks and letting it ride until i have enough money to retire. after a few days i haven't made it to the craps table phase of my plan because i'm stuck $79 at 2/4

tanj

I was looking for an avitar and I found this http://images.google.com/imgres?imgu...%3Den%26sa%3DN

fat imo (i suck)

I kind of like this one --

Not bad, and way better than what I found. Lets make it a contest

i don't know why i bother giving people credit when reading their hands. just gonna assume everyone sucks and be right.

Uninteresting pretext: it's evening, i can only get 1k outta the atm and i have 400 something on me. i'm already kinda westish so i head over to hustler to slum it at 25/50. i over hear my 20 something neighbor to the right talking to an observer about how his dad thinks he should get a job with a smirk, in other words he's a "professional" poker player and doesn't care who knows! he hasn't done anything out of the ordinary in the few hours i had at the table. but he's won both hands i three bet him preflop. first time he opens the button, i 3b. he calls the 977 flop with no pair no draw and wins when we check down after the board pairs the 9 on the turn to counterfeit my sixes. second time i flop middle set and lose to his open ender that got there on the turn. before the hand in question i had won one hand in 4 hours and no showdowns. someone may have noticed i'd loudly sighed a couple times pf after mucking another 92, but that's the extent of my tilted image.

hand: 40s asian guy who i overheard talking to some dude about previously propping 30 at hawaiian gardens and how he doesn't like commerce 40 and 60 (lol), opens the button. while i was waiting to post 4 hours ago he three bet the tightest player at the table who was utg with 22 from the button. i actually lol'd at showdown (he won). our "good" playing pro calls, and i 3b qq in the bb. hand cliff notes, i lose two more bets than i should because i was obviously drawing live to his made hand with my flush draw on turn because KJs is the only thing someone could possibly be cold calling in the sb that had me dead.

he flopped a straight flush though. which is fine, good for him. he did me the favor and took the i have the nuts line making the turn an easy fold for me. but for some reason the fact that this kid is supposed to be good enters my head right as i'm about fold. i tell my self it's impossible for him have Ax of clubs here and i pay off like a fool when i river a flush of my own.

went cash busto and didn't even make it to 11pm with my one bullet. sigh...midstakes LA players.

Emoney81=Charles Bronson?

I had pocked 9s 5 times today (in a 5 hours session) and hit a set on 3 of them (2 of the 3 on the turn for sure), and quads on the 4th. Didn't hit any other sets all day.

I also 3 bet at least 4 of them preflop (not sure on the 5th again).

I also won all 5 hands.

today I learned about the trial attorneys of new jersey, the traditional archers of new jersey, looked at the pictures of a rather attractive young woman from london who uses the myspace name tanj, and also that it sometimes means there 'aint no justice.

also i won 47 bbs and a laptop today. so maybe there's some justice after all.

Today I sat in a two hour backup on the NE Ext. (PA turnpike). I didn't make it to AC at all today. Apparently vanman won a freaking laptop as well. Tanj.

was playing some 2/5 nl, guy straddles, some limpers, i havent seen him raise once from all the times hes straddled, hes not the kind of guy who raises pf if its limped to him when he straddles, he just straddles for the sake of straddling so i call 67o in the CO, button folds, sb folds, bb calls, straddler checks, flop 667, bb checks, straddler looks around and fires out a bet, limpers fold, it gets to me, he looks up at me and just gives me this look that hes very eager to get some action, i oblige and push allin, bb folds, and he instacalls, J6, looking good so far, turn J, and just to rub it in, river another J

Live 20/40 and Professor Ben is on sweat patrol. Like 4 callers to me and I raise K Q in the small blind. BB 3-bets it, somebody might have folded but I doubt it, I cap it up and proceed to flop the bejesus out of it with KK4. I resist the urge to check/raise and just get called down by one player (BB folded to my donk....lol).

Professor Ben: "Yeah, that Kelly girl can be a real bitch, but she's great in bed so that kind of makes up for it"

Two fun hands tonight (neither of which involved me running into an a**hole card, surprisingly, so I can post them in this thread):

Three idiot savants limp, a maniac LAG on tilt raises her 4th consecutive hand in the HJ, I cold-call A4 OTB. Both blinds call and we take the flop 7 ways for 7 big bets.

The flop comes 532. Um, thank you Ms. Biel, yes I will take your brassiere off. Checked to Tilty McSteam-a-raise who bets, I raise, BB cold-calls, and Maria Ho's father cold-calls from EP. Tilty 3-bets, I cap, and BB and MH'sF both take two more up the chimney.

The turn is a 9. Checked to Tilty who bets again, I raise, and BB finally realizes he might be behind for some reason and lets his hand go. MHF says THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE TWO MORE and Tilty finally slows down and just calls.

The river, of course, not only pairs the board but puts a flush out -- not a heart, but rather the 5. MHF checks, Tilty checks, and I sigh and check and I know what's coming but I roll my hand first and pray that I missed a bet instead of getting rivered. Tilty mucks, but MHF says SEND THE POT OVER HERE! and rolls the K6. Ship him the 20+BB pot. CardSharpCook is sweating me and decides to stop sweating me.


So like 4 hours later I'm at another (equally good) table and open 55 in MP. Solid-ish guy 3-bets behind me in the hijack. The button opens his cornhole wide and says, "can you fit three of those in here?" Both blinds somehow find the fold button.

Flop comes Q95. I check, HJ bets, button calls, I c/r, HJ calls, button calls. Turn 8. I bet, HJ calls, button raises. ORLY? I guess maybe it's possible he is ******ed enough to call 3 cold PF with JT, or to peel the flop with 88. So I call, HJ calls. River 6. I check intending to puke, HJ checks, and button now sighs and shakes his head and checks. SWEET! I roll my 55 like it's the nuts and wait for the others to muck. HJ flashes his AA and throws it away.

Then button looks at the board and my hand, squints at his own hand, and rolls over JT looking all confused. The dealer gives him the pot. Then I get berated by some old fart not even in the hand who tells me "Come on! You knew he had JT, he had to have JT, it was obvious he had JT!"

Ah, Commerce. I can't lose a pot in peace. I always get berated for losing.

Here's a hand I just remembered from last night's 40 game. It proves that some of the only pots I'm able to win are due to technicalities.

Two or three limpers to me in the SB with KJo. I complete, BB checks. Flop is QJTr. I bet and get two callers, including the button -- who is a decent player I have a lot of table experience with, and we have an amiable relationship. The turn is a brick and I bet and only the button calls while answering his cell phone which just rang. The river is also a brick but I think it puts up backdoor diamonds (I have the KdJh). I bet, he calls and continues his cell phone conversation.

I roll my hand silently hoping he called me with a hand like AT or J9 but expecting to lose since he doesn't pay off that light usually. He looks at my hand, nods, flashes his cards to his neighbor and mucks. Dealer scoops the cards into the muck and pushes me the pot. As he's doing so, the button goes "WAIT! What did I just do?" And the neighbor finally speaks up and goes "Yeah dude, you mucked the winning hand." I asked button what he had, and he said he had a queen. Neighbor confirms it was KQ. Button speaks into his phone and curses his friend on the other end of the line for costing him a pot. He says something like "thanks a lot, you made me muck the winning hand!"

I didn't see his hand so I can't exactly ship the guy the pot, so I just stacked the chips and shrugged sympathetically. Maybe this is a lesson not to answer the phone during a hand? I dunno... I got super lucky I guess, if indeed he had a queen.

tried to 4bet bluff some guy off his bottom two pair today on the turn and as punsihment i guess, one of the most annoying ladies, who just happens to be viciously loud as well, takes his seat and chats away for the next several hours as i run insanely bad; every big pair running into some random two pair combo, every flush and straight draw bricking away, etc. to make matters worse, i was sitting next to her loverboy, this degenerate named frank the pothead

LOL, somebody reeked of weed and she decided it was me since I was chewing gum, plus she seemed to be hot for me or something and of course I was nice to her to keep her happy and donating. You did run bad, it was brutal to witness. Oh, and when donkeys three bet, they never fold.

I was playing and talking with twice-a-year poster Timogen at Commerce tonight and he came up with some more fun terminology that should be added to the poker lexicon. Maybe it's more like slang than anything else.

Snap, Crackle, or Pop?

Meaning, call, fold, or raise. Either you snap(call), crack(under the pressure and muck) or pop it.

Example: Folded to a TAG in MP1 who opens, it's on you in the CO with KQs. Snap, crackle, or pop?

Maybe this is only funny at 4:00 in the morning to two guys running bad.

she's always donating, i can't complain, everybody just hit everything against me yesterday, then i think its time i get even when another action city chick comes in, but she just drilled me too, best was i raise A6 in CO, she calls on button, blinds call. J73 two flop and i end up losing to K2 LOL even the tight prop we kept saying wasn't going to straddle cold calls my raise with K2 after the 3 on my left called too, so can't blame him, was just funny to see him turn it over after 872 flop where he c/c, turn T, he c/c, and river K, he fires, im thinking damnit, i folded best hand on turn with AK, nope, kings and deuces winner.

yeah, and i should stop making pot limit moves in a limit game, i put him on exactly 42 suited, but i get no bonus points, mainly b/c im the moron jamming 4 bets with Q high, sigh.

that's a sharp looking avatar frank.

everytime i see someone at a limit table who labels themselves as a nl player, they always play like crap, needlessly spewing chips whenever they dont have a hand, checking back when they should be betting, its like limit poker teaches you sound fundamental skills that can be easily translated to nl games, but those guys that start off in nl cant seem to make that transition to limit because theyre missing out on all the basics

my favorite is when an older guy sweats/sits in the game and can't play but goes on about no-limit. it means either A. you just started playing when nl took off, so shut up, or B. you had to have played this game before nl took off, and you're a fish at this game, so you're obv a fish at nl too.

Or it means you're an action junkie and you want to play 40% of your hands despite telling yourself that you know better. I speak from my own experience on this point.

Last two hands I've played with A-4s I flopped 5-3-2 and finished second both times. Too bad it's not high-low.

Mimi Tran was actually nice to me yesterday. A first.

online +600bbs

live +200.

Lock up December and the year?