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Originally Posted by gregorio
As a white person, if I someone calls someone a ****** is it okay for my to criticize them or is that speaking on behalf of black people and pushing my white-guilt agenda on them?
(Given the number of letters and the topic, I'm assuming the censored word is the n-word)
Yes imo, because nearly every black person is going to say they feel uncomfortable being called that word. I feel like that, like blackface, is pretty settled. There might be a few exceptions, but as a basically universal rule, if you're white and you call a black person the n-word, you're gonna have a bad time, and you're gonna deserve it.
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If you think I should speak out against using ******, then why shouldn't I speak out against cultural appropriation? They are both forms of racism. Just because one is a less heinous forum doesn't mean I should let it go. "Hey good job on the dreads dude. Thanks for just being a little racist!" If you don't think it's a white person's place to object to the use of ******, then your position starts to make sense.
Crazy that you brought up dreads, because the difference between blackface and locks is part of what I've been thinking about during this. I recall pretty vividly a conversation from a few years ago that I was on the periphery of between 5 people at work, CJ, a black man mid-20s who has locks, Cheryl, a black woman mid 40s, myself, and two others that don't matter. It was right after
this story happened
I remember that conversation for a few things. CJ saying "No one ought to get harassed over some locks", Cheryl essentially saying that someone needed to teach the girl how to behave, and then when they were joking about how white people could even make locks, I mentioned that when I was younger I used to have shoulder length hair, and Cheryl saying my hair would "probably end up looking like pig tails". They laughed for what felt like 30 minutes and she still teases me about it to this day...
Other than that burn, I took from it that they didn't really care about locks. They rolled their eyes at the entire thing. I've seen her leave our office in tears and frustration after the Philando Castile video came out, and besides that we've known each other for years, she's never one to hide her opinion. I genuinely don't think she or he care at all if any other race wears locks.
I asked a coworker tonight about the issue and he had a different take. He said he didn't really feel anything about locks, but seeing people like the Kardashians or other celebrities wearing dreads and then appropriating that look as their own bothered him. (Makes sense to me. Take advantage of the culture, don't give any credit or anything back. Not cool)
So, yeah, the 2nd half of your post is where you and I differ. I don't pretend that my friends/coworkers speak for the entire population, and I take you at your word when you say that you've had friends moved to tears by their experiences with appropriation.
I think the difference is that when I put myself if your shoes, I see myself staying silent until someone says "Hey, that hairstyle bothers me" at which point I can back them up. When I flip the roles, I see you jumping in and "calling out appropriation" in situations that may only be offensive to a much smaller portion of the community. In that case, I see it as a white person effectively trying to impose their values on a group that doesn't share them. If my friends don't view locks as racist, my saying "Hey good job on the dreads dude. Thanks for just being a little racist!" sounds incredibly condescending coming from me.
I know that we don't agree, you've had your experiences and I've had mine, they're clearly different, and I can move past that, but I would just offer that graph you linked showed only 22% of black respondents said it was never appropriate to "wear traditional dress from a country or culture other than your own as part of a Halloween costume", essentially 1 in 5. That leaves a lot of room for people that I feel like might not want our help in deciding what's offensive to them