Red Wings sweep #6 seed in 4

Sharks take 6 games to beat #7 seed

Tried to vote for 11-TIME CUP CHAMPION WANGZ in 2, but poll fail, so I did the best I could.

How about until the winning team is eliminated (or wins cup obv)?

Did I break a bunch of rules in the sharkz-wangz thread last year? I'd appreciate it if you could show me what those are, I'd hate to be a problem to the fine hockey mods of this forum!

IT'S OFFICIAL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, (ok just Gentlemen, it's 2p2) IT'S TIME FOR THE YEARLY WANGZZZZZZZZZZZ BANDWAGON ROUNDUP

WE'VE ALREADY GOT A FEW CONVERTS INCLUDING 4x SE MOD OF THE YEAR WINNER TUQ AND WILL TAKE WHATEVER HELP WE CAN GET.

QUALIFICATIONS FOR BEING A WANGZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BANDWAGONER

-If you agree with everything Mickey Redmond says
-If you're rooting for Tampa Bay because of Steve Yzerman
-If you have no clue how to spell Abdelkader
-If you agree that Tomas Holmstrom and Johan Franzen are the toughest sons of bitches in the entire NHL
-If you want to see a Good Ol' American Boy in net
-If you want to see Darren McCarty drop gloves with Keith Jones in the VS Studio

OR if you want to be a fan of a franchise that has made the playoffs in TWENTY consecutive years, has won ELEVEN Stanley Cups, and has the greatest fan base in the entire NHL, then welcome aboard!

Now that our warmup series against the Winnipeg Jets minor league affiliates is over, we turn our attention to the San Jose Sharks. If you're a true WANGZZZZZZZZZZ fan you have no clue who these guys are. I mean HOCKEY IN CALIFORNIA??? HOW ABSURD AMIRITE?????

But unfortunately for us, they do exist, and don't appear to be the AHL Affiliate of any real NHL team, so while we have to play them next round, might as well familiarize you with who we're up against.

Mascot - SJ Sharkie



Seriously, wtf is this ****? This looks like a plush Happy Meal toy from Disney's Shark Tale. Sharks don't smile. They ****ing eat you. But this shark ****ing smiles. Doesn't make me fear their team at all. I think we all can infer from this that their team is full of sopping wet vaginas. You want to see a real mascot? Here's a real mascot.



Whoops, wrong image... I mean HERE'S a real mascot.



Anywho... Moving on to the actual players from the Sharks.

G - #31 - Antti Niemi



Niemi is coming off of a fluke playoff season with Chicago where he maintained an unheard of (for Niemi) .910 save percentage en route to leading the best team 1 year of money can buy to a Stanley Cup. Then just like Bobby Bonilla, he was part of the firesale and went back to California. So far in this playoff campaign, Niemi has maintained a 3.99 GAA and an astoundingly poor .863 save percentage. As people always say, the hardest thing to do is repeat as champion, and Niemi has clearly been struggling with it this season.

Total Cups: 1

C - #12 - Patrick Marleau



Marleau can be seen here crying tears of his own blood. He has spent his entire 14 year career in San Jose, becoming as well known in the Bay Area as Rice-A-Roni, pretentiousness, and Whistle Tips. He has been the posterboy for Sharks playoff choking with his career -7 rating in the playoffs.

Total Cups: Did I mention he has played his whole career with the Sharks?

D - #22 - Dan Boyle



Defensive leader, Team's Time on ice leader, clearly gay.

Total Cups: 1 (in Florida, so not even sure if it counts)

C - #19 - Joe Thornton



Pretty impressive hardware collection for ol' Joey Joe Joe. Missing something? Looks like he's missing some RANGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. He's the Sharks version of the hired gun. The free agent designed to get them out of their choking ways and get them to the Stanley Cup. If they wanted someone who isn't a playoff choker, they should've looked elsewhere. Joe has frequently disappeared in the playoffs, sporting a mind-blowing -22 career rating in the playoffs. Compare that to his +135 career regular season rating. If the playoffs took place in December, Joe might scare me, but this is April.

Total Cups: ZERO

So there you go, you'll at least have a few names you can rattle off to other less clued in WANGZZZZZZZZZ fans while watching the games. Make sure to keep that Wings roster handy so you remember who your own players are. Make sure to make fun of any Sharks fans you might see IRL or on the internet for rooting for a clearly inferior franchise.

Anybody else looking for a team to root for, stock in the Wings has never been higher. We don't discriminate, we will happily welcome any bandwagoners to come join us in Hockeytown!

As a bonus, whenever somebody says something you have no comeback to, just post this.

Huh? I'm not going to go track down the posts. Your disregard for this forum's rules has been brought up regularly, just because I'm not linking to them doesn't mean they don't exist. Plus this isn't the time nor place.

So if you're going to make some random, poorly placed attack on this forum's moderation why don't you try playing by the rules yourself first.

your better than this.

anybody with these type "lol no cup" posts realize that the sharks have been in the league for around 20 years as an expansion team, which is close to 1/5 of the time the wings have been in the league right? I mean, woah, i wonder who has the most cups.

I mean with the logic you guys use the only thing that would be cooler would be to bandwagon the celtics and spend your time trolling thunder fans about how oklahoma city hasnt won a title! lol

The funny thing is that none of this cup talk has to do with this year. thats why wang fans keep bringing it up, because talking about this year would remind you guys that the red wings are the inferior team.

in the spirit of educating the bandwagon that probably doesnt even know the history of their own team, does anyone know how the length of detroits longest cup drought?

The answer is 42 years between 1955-1997, thats about twice as many years as the sharks have been in existence! thats four decades of fail for anyone keeping track!

Your terrible moderation has also been brought up regularly so I'm inclined to trust that if the hockey mods have a problem with my posting they'll let me know, because I don't wish to create any problems for them. Thanks though!

i say tuq and goofy put up their mod powers on this series. loser gets to mod both forums!

One thing is for sure. This should be a 6-7 game series. As a spectator who rarely watches NHL. It'll be fun to see these two teams compete.

Kewl, so SJ clearly has about 1/5 the Cups?

No?

1/10th?

No?

1/21th?

No?

Well, shucks, there clearly must be SOME fraction which can express the ration of awesomeness...

sortbycupsdetermineawesomeness.jpg ammirite?

if the sharks go cup less for forty years straight come see me then.

can we free GREEAR as long as he agrees to only post ITT?

+1

FREEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

i'm on board with this.

First of all, take any future posts on this to the sticky or the mod forum, or somewhere else that isn't this thread. It's a beyond ******ed derailment which was initiated by you and perpetuated by me. It's offtopic and nobody cares. Would you allow this derailment in a random thread of a forum you mod? No? Then why did you start it here?

Secondly, yes, the hockey mods are the ones with whom your trolling and rulebreaking has been discussed. What, did you think I brought it up with the mod of French BBV or something?

So if you haven't been contacted, then here's your notice: going forward, don't post like a huge troll who is abusing his mod status as you have done in the past and we won't have any trouble. Thanks in advance.

I wasn't around for this thread last year, but judging from what I've seen so far I assume by the end I'm going to hate everybody, including half of the other Sharks fans, right?

Isn't the point of this thread to troll the **** out of everyone?

Things I'm worried about going into this series:

- Datsyuk
- Lots of Rangz
- World class organization
- Rested veteran team
- Also, Datsyuk

Should be a great series, Sharks in 6-7 imo.

Series hinges largely on Zetterberg's health imo

Clearly the difference between a Chokes sweep and Detroit pushing the series to 5