People here who are tailgating typically have a half dozen wine bottles in their spread

Lol, my friend who did his grad work at ucla is going to be hanging with me in the student section in powder blue. And I thought I was a troll for showing up to the Cal-Oregon game in Cardinal red.

Is that supposed to be impressive or pathetic?

Fwiw I have half a dozen varieties of Carlo Rossi in my car at any given time.

Obviously they were banking on one of OSU or UM getting in the title game every season.

I will tell you this. If OSU is in that title game, you won't have to give tickets away on Craigslist.

Hello and welcome to schu_22's 10k post (sort of) B1G CHAMPIONSHIP PREVIEW EXTRAVAGANZA

presented by Eric Martin!







...aka your Big Ten leader in sacks and my alltime favorite Husker. Thus the avatar. Anyway, let's begin.

First off, the venue! The Cornhuskers are no stranger to conference championship games, going 0-2 in the 2009 and 2010 Big 12 Championship games against Texas and Oklahoma.

(Nothing to see there, moving on...)

The game is played in Lucas Oil Stadium, which is pretty much identical to where the Big XII Championship was played, JerryWorld, except for the fact that it's cheaper, smaller, has no office-building-sized video screen, but does house a much better blue-clad NFL team with a much better QB. Also, it's indistinguishable from a nice-looking warehouse from the outside. Really says "Indiana."



Game will be called by Gus Johnson and Charles Davis, aka the GOAT announcing crew to everyone except dkgojackets.



On to the teams!

First representing the Black East 3 Yards Leaders Division, Urban Meyer and everyone's favorite Ohio State Buckeyes!



Err, ****. Tattoos and crap, ok so I guess next in line is the Penn State Nittany Lions!



...right, nevermind. Well, that leaves, coming in at 7-5, with their best win coming over Utah State, your Wisconsin Badgers!



The Badgers lost their starting quarterback, Joel Stave (Who names their kids Joel anymore?) and Danny O'Brien just plain sucks ass (LOL at all the Wisky fans who thought he was Russel Wilson part 2) so they're down to a guy named Curt Philips, who has apparently had 3 ACLs, as many predominantly african-american former athletes would say. What the **** is up with that wording? "I had an achilles back in college" ... "I had an MCL and let me tell ya" ... "Curt Phillips has had 3 ACLs" Really, 3 ACLs? His knee must be really ****ing stable with those two extra ligaments in there. How about you properly say "Curt Philips has had three torn ACLs. That so hard?

They also have this guy, quietly the new career TD leader in NCAA football:



Montee Ball got his ass kicked by 5 guys this summer (DAYUM) yet recovered from the incident and will need to be a force in this game. Wisconsin's offensive line is HUGE and coupled with Nebraska's struggles to stop the run and injury problems (more on that later), the Wisconsin run game will need to get going for them to have a chance.

The statistics saying that the Badgers' offense is only the 8th best in the league must be really wrong because they have 4 first team all-Big-Ten offensive players! I'm looking at you, Abbrederis, who is most definitely better than Allen Robinson and Kenny Bell

Also Bret Bielema is fat and a piece of ****, to put it eloquently, but this distinction is neither here nor here.


Next, representing the Blue West Cloud of Dust Legends Division, yooouuuurrrrr 12th ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers!

The Cornhuskers bring in a dynamic, B1G-leading offense, led by elite arm-punter Taylor Martinez



Despite the popular perception of Taylor's arm-punting abilities, he actually leads the Big Ten conference in arm-punting efficiency this year and is completing his punts at a 64% rate, quite the improvement over last year's 56% clip. He has a vast array of punt receivers to target as well, led by one of the best receivers in the B1G, Kenny Bell. Also look for big target Quincy Enunwa, Randall-Cobb-type Jamal Turner, TEs Reed and Cotton, and the backs to get involved in the arm-punting game as well. And don't forget the constant threat of a breakaway 50-yard run.

The rushing attack is equally diverse and talented, with starter Rex Burkhead returning.



There's also Ameer Abdullah who had a breakout season in his absence, Braylon Heard who doesn't play nearly as much as he ****ing deserves, and Imani Cross, who can do 41 pullups at his playing weight of 245. THAT'S ****ING ABSURD.

The defense is again pretty good. Quite the comeback year from giving up 653 yards to UCLA and 63 points to Ohio State. The defensive star is LOL NOT B1G FIRST TEAMER CB (Nickel) Ciante Evans. The Blackshirts are 15th in the nation in total defense and #2 in the nation in pass efficiency defense. Their main weakness is running up the middle (not good sign) and also mobile quarterbacks (lol, mr. 3 ACL).

So how has anyone beaten this team? Well, we lead the nation in fumbles, probably, and have likely had more dropped punts than all other CFB teams combined. Pretty ****ing sure. Also sometimes Taylor's arm-punts get fair-caught by members of the opposing team (although he only has like 6 this year! Which, according to ikes, is like the worst in history.)

Also, Bo Pelini will be angry passionate about something this week too.



Injuries have really affected Nebraska in the last week though. They lost their 5-star DT Baker Steinkuhler and starting center Justin Jackson to injury at Iowa. Given that Wisconsin's strength is up the middle, this will be a key thing to watch.

To the victor goes the spoils:



The line is Nebraska -3.5 with a total of 48.5

Want some free money? Under 48.5 and whatever the Nebraska 2nd half line is, take it.

Nebraska 27, Wisconsin 14

Cliffs:

LOL B1G

SUPER CLIFFS:

Just realized the pac-12 title game is tonight. woot!

Very nice Schu!

Jemele Hill is just awful. What genius decided it was a good idea to have her as a sideline reporter?

Ucla band pulling out..... Gangnam Style? Lol, that was awful.

There's absolutely no reason for a non-hot female sideline reporter

LOL'd, hard.

Looks like it's about time to go flip on the MAC-tacular championship, if only to see if KENT STATE can crash the BCS.

One time. Please. **** the Orange Bowl square in the ass.

The "BCS Buster" wasn't put in place so a mediocre MAC team that got blown out by Kentucky could make a BCS bowl.

Stadium is half empty

For sheer LULZ, i should have done my preview on the MAC or CUSA game instead. Kind of like when I did a huge Sunday preview for the terrible Greenbrier Classic in the golf forum

wow it is absolute embarrassing how empty stanford stadium is

way more than half

having the pac 12 championship:

1. on a friday
2. on the home site of one of the teams instead of a neutral field

is just about the 2 lamest things ever. good effort pac12, good effort

Stanford game is pretty early for a Friday night game. Even if it was tomorrow it'd probably be empty.

here to lol @ pac 12 championship attendance. detroit pistons get more fans on a tues night than this.

Wait. Theres a game tonight?

Home field makes perfect sense. If it was a truly neutral site (i.e. not LA or Bay Area) stadium would be completely empty.


Having it on a Friday when the West Coast is just getting off work is terribad.

there's another hochuli!

"that's a head, that's a tails"

What the ****ing ****? Dish Network is having a contract dispute with Northwest Broadcasting, the owner of my local Fox network, and does not currently broadcast Fox? And this happened TODAY? Of all days??? God dammit, where else can I watch the Pac-12 Title Game?

Dumb trying to run that out.

Over/Under... points scored by both teams in the MAC championship game or points score in the Tennessee/Georgetown basketball game (GT 37- TENN 36 final)