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The most life-changing, tear jerking, mind opening paper you will ever read (lol Heals)

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03-27-2014 , 01:05 PM

#26

ShimmyBasis

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 4,506

I just re-read that paper and I'm in tears. I can truly say I'm a better man after experiencing that beautiful masterpiece.

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03-27-2014 , 01:35 PM

#27

fairplayJAY

old hand

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,355

Rose is not impressed.

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03-27-2014 , 01:39 PM

#28

StoppedRainingMen

Player Hater of the Year

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 57,475

I'm imagining a 7 foot tall 20 year old hunched over his desk racking his brain for the perfect words to describe the trials and tribulations of rosa parks with balls of crumbled up papers behind him with paragraphs he felt didn't fully express what she went through on that fateful evening of December. Then suddenly lightning strikes and his fingers can't type as fast as the words enter his head. And voila! Rosa Parks: My Story

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03-27-2014 , 01:43 PM

#29

Pantoja

grinder

Join Date: Mar 2014 Posts: 452

Quote:

Originally Posted by cobrakai111

As a sport management professor, I would give that a solid B. I appreciate the conciseness. I'm actually kind of impressed the amount of APA requirements he got correct.

If this is indicative of the state of sports management classes, then when they eliminate college sports in response to yesterday's NLRB ruling, they should also eliminate all the sports management departments.

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03-27-2014 , 01:45 PM

#30

Pantoja

grinder

Join Date: Mar 2014 Posts: 452

Quote:

Originally Posted by StoppedRainingMen

More accurate to imagine a kid with a white polo and gray slacks trying hard to sound as undereducated as the guy he's tutoring.

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03-27-2014 , 01:57 PM

#31

ShimmyBasis

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 4,506

When this literary classic is inevitably adapted to the big screen, who do you think should direct it?

a) Quentin Tarantino
b) Martin Scorsese
c) Christopher Nolan
d) Wes Anderson
e) Michael Bay
f) Tim Burton
g) Wes Craven
h) M. Night Shyamalan

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03-27-2014 , 02:02 PM

#32

Rei Ayanami

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 11,685

Tommy Wiseau

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03-27-2014 , 02:06 PM

#33

GusJohnsonGOAT

SESwamiGOAT

Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 16,489

Still better writing than half the people on 2+2 or everyone on Yahoo Answers.

Last edited by GusJohnsonGOAT; 03-27-2014 at 02:14 PM.

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03-27-2014 , 02:11 PM

#34

SuperDuperTilt

journeyman

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 338

Maybe the should offer a comedy writing class or hip hop poetry?

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03-27-2014 , 02:21 PM

#35

Namath12

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 55,849

more like shammy basis amirite

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03-27-2014 , 02:23 PM

#36

StoppedRainingMen

Player Hater of the Year

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 57,475

Tim Burton with Helena Bonham Carter as Rosa Parks and Johnny Depp as the man she loved seems like a lock

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03-27-2014 , 02:26 PM

#37

dlk9s

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 22,499

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rei Ayanami

Tommy Wiseau

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03-27-2014 , 02:34 PM

#38

Namath12

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Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 55,849

Dean Norris seems like the perfect guy to play clueless-yet-by-the-book cop.

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03-27-2014 , 02:35 PM

#39

fanerio

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 8,718

A+++ ending

imagining the fade to black and the standing ovation already

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03-27-2014 , 03:30 PM

#40

Namath12

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Wait this isn't the same paper that was also plagiarized from an 11 year old was it?

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03-27-2014 , 03:31 PM

#41

Jeremy517

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Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 7,232

Either the whole thing is a hoax, or the player couldn't even write a paper that short by themselves. The whole thing is plagiarized.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...der_0141301201

Scroll down to the first page of chapter one.

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03-27-2014 , 03:37 PM

#42

nath

the second coming of the second coming

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 69,119

Hell, a few years ago it was revealed the UNC was forging grades for its football players. The NCAA did nothing, because amateurism and student-athlete integrity only matter when punishing individual players who get uppity or small schools that don't bring in loads of athletic revenue.

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03-27-2014 , 03:41 PM

#43

Namath12

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeremy517

ROFL

And this isn't even the one I was thinking about

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/...-11-year-olds/

Quote:

Report: UNC receiver Erik Highsmith plagiarized 11-year-olds

That was from 2012. They already got hit with a bowl ban during Butch Davis' tenure for this very thing.

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03-27-2014 , 03:42 PM

#44

Namath12

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Quote:

Originally Posted by nath

Hell, a few years ago it was revealed the UNC was forging grades for its football players. The NCAA did nothing, because amateurism and student-athlete integrity only matter when punishing individual players who get uppity or small schools that don't bring in loads of athletic revenue.

They got a 1 year bowl ban according to that WaPo article

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03-27-2014 , 03:47 PM

#45

mullen

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 17,558

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cornboy

Steve Blake's Happy days at Johnny's is still the GOAT.

You weren't kidding. This is amazing.

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03-27-2014 , 03:48 PM

#46

Dids

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Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 60,871

Like half of NC's defense got suspended and it cost people jobs. (but at roughly the same time there was also some agent contact stuff that got them in trouble and John Blake super fired and I'm too lazy to figure out which penalties were for what).

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03-27-2014 , 03:48 PM

#47

nath

the second coming of the second coming

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 69,119

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ashington

They got a 1 year bowl ban according to that WaPo article

Wow, bringing out the big guns!

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03-27-2014 , 03:52 PM

#48

nath

the second coming of the second coming

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 69,119

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dids

Hmm, maybe you should figure it out, because I'm almost certain that the penalties you mention were entirely regarding the agents paying players, and had little to nothing to do with the academic scandal.

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03-27-2014 , 03:53 PM

#49

Namath12

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Quote:

Originally Posted by nath

Wow, bringing out the big guns!

Yeah

I guess it also cost them their head coach, though some might actually consider that a consolation prize.

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03-27-2014 , 03:55 PM

#50

Dids

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 60,871

My hand has been forced- first google result

Quote:

he NCAA has placed North Carolina's football program on three years' probation and banned it from the 2012 postseason, the governing body announced Monday.

The school already had imposed several penalties, including vacating all 16 wins for 2008 and 2009, reducing nine scholarships over the next three academic years and putting the program on two years of probation.

But the NCAA didn't stop at UNC's self-imposed penalties, finding that the school was responsible for violations including academic fraud, impermissible agent benefits, participation by ineligible players and a failure to monitor the football program.

Everybody is right all at the same time, let's go bowling and drink beers.

My "don't think I need to google more" recollection is that the suspensions were all over the agent stuff though.

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