I got to thinking about the Ryder Cup and Phil's comment about Rory suing "Graeme McDowell"... and imagined how sweet next year's Masters could be. So let's pretend this Ryder Cup ends with bad blood between Phil and Rory.

Cut to 2015 Masters:
Rory is going for his Career Grand Slam. Phil going for major #6 - his 4th green jacket. Bubba going for win #3 in 4 years. Tiger trying to make a comeback.

So the ideal final pairing is Rory and Phil neck and neck, where a bottle of Clorox "falls" out of Rory's golf bag around 13 tee. Phil sees this and gives a sarcastic thumbs up then double-crosses his tee shot into the trees up right of the fairway. Rory rips his 2nd shot high on 15 and it lands softly on the par 5 green to about 22 feet. Place goes wild. Caroline Wozniaki then streaks across the green and dives into the water in front of the green. Rory never recovers.

Tiger begins Sunday like 6 strokes back and shoots 63 to ultimately lose by 1. Bubba Watson begins 3 strokes back and goes super low to take the lead before accidentally falling into Rae's Creek and hurting his plant foot. He stumbles to a 74, cursing Jesus and his caddy the final several holes. No idea who ultimately wins. Somebody like Spieth or Stricker or some other fan favorite, who finishes like an hour before the final group.

All Tennis Grand Slams:
Djokovic vs. Nadal in all of them and Nadal wins them all, as Djok runs out of gas in all of them and severely rustles the fanboiz. EPO accusations fly Nadal's way, but he surpasses Really Old Guy - er, Federer.

I'll think of some other events later but I'd like to hear your desired outcomes for major sporting events happening over the next 12 months. Don't just type "I'd love the Bills to win" if you are a Bills fan. That homer stuff is ldo. Unless it's reasonable that they will contend.

Like most of your posts, OP is not nearly as funny as you are trying to make it. Terrible thread.

Nevada beats San Jose St. by more than 5 tomorrow. Then I rub money on my titties.

A-rod hits a walk off home run to end the World Series hopes of the brewers. He was dfa by the Yankees and was then picked up by the angels to replace freese at 3b. At the sight of this, bud selig has a stroke and can never talk again.

Price, Verlander, Scherzer, and Lobstein throw consecutive perfect games to sweep the Giants in the 2014 World Series. Immediately following the non-alcoholic clubhouse celebration, ISIS drops a bomb on the city of St. Louis.

I'd love the Bills to win. ...A lot.

I hope all of my favorite teams win their respective Championships.

For the Giants to win every single Super Bowl.

I'd love the bills to win every game

Spurs beat LeBron again in the 2015 Finals, Matt Bonner the surprise mvp. LeBron then demands a trade to the Knicks.

Think the point is more what sports outcomes bring maximum drama/lols, not "name your favorite sports team"

Nothing gets by you

crap player takes over a key role on a losing team and leads them to a series of increasingly unlikely victories, culminating in him going full divine intervention in his first playoff game.

don't remember Kaep's first season very well, but didn't this already happen?

Posts itt tho

There's an interesting psychological question here though. Let us examine the uncreative answer people have been giving, which in its most general form is: "The team that I want to win the game does win the game. In every game."

How long could this actually happen, before it proved to be not ideal at all? In my case, I imagine that if starting this second, it began applying to every game I care about, it would of course be exciting at first. I'd love when the Mariners won out, and the A's lost out to sneak Seattle into the playoffs. By October fifth, when the Mariners finished their sweep in the Divison series, and the Ducks football team had moved to 5-0, that would be better. Fast forward to October 25th when the Mariners swept the World Series, and the Ducks were 8-0, and I'd be even happier... but perhaps slightly disconcerted and confused by how the Mariners hadn't even lost a game.

Now fast forward to December 5th, when the Ducks moved to 13-0 with a win in the Pac 12 Championship, with Oregon basketball off to a 7-0 start, and the Trailblazers sitting at 19-0, it would be strange enough that I'm not sure how excited I could be about the conference title. Skip to the end of the calendar year, with Oregon basketball at 13-0, and the Blazers at 34-0, and it would be pretty clear that something weird was going on.

How much, by that point, would I even care about the upcoming college football playoff game, and its apparently foregone conclusion?

I think sports would be dead to me by the end of January (yay, Oregon won a football national title, and the basketball team is 9-0 in conference play, 22-0 overall, and the Blazers are now 50-0. Woo. What else is on?)

JEETS hits a GRAND SLAM in his final at-bat vs the Red Sox tomorrow

Dave Brandon orders his usual Domino's pizza, double anchovies. A piece lodges in his throat, cutting off air flow, but only for a minute. As his life flashes before his eyes Domino Dave has a moment of clarity and feels remorse for the fact that his entire life has been a fraud and that he really doesn't know jack **** about putting together a winning athletic program. Sobered up by this, as well as the sound of a ringing telephone that is inevitably a call from the Board of Regents to inform him that his ass is fired, Dave decides to dedicate the rest of his life to fighting the Ebola crisis on the ground in West Africa. He resigns, hops on the corporate jet and will not re-emerge until there is a cure.

This all happens tonight btw.

and then gets Ebola and dies

but, yes

would have gone with "chokes on a bone in Domino's boneless chicken wings", but I can't hate