Alright, this TR has been delayed for far too long, and I'm not even sure if the entire trip is worthy of a TR, but it had its moments that I feel are worth sharing.
The original plan included 4 guys, which included 3 of my closest buddies; Gamble and Nate met two of them last year in Buffalo. One guy got posted in England for a month through work and the other guy ended up getting a new job in T.O. so they both had to pull out at the last minute. But our tickets for Sunday were too good to pass up, so my remaining buddy and I decided to go no matter what. The trip probably would've included far greater shenanigans with a full quartet, but there were some notable highlights.
First real highlight of the trip came after the first game on Saturday night - you see, since I've got a lot of family in the Chicagoland area (hence my affinity for Da Bears and just the city in general), Geddy's old man decided he might as well come down and join us for the games. So he decides to take my buddy and I out to Harry Caray's post-game for some ridiculously tasty steak. Some people love the place, others say it's overrated but I'll tell you what, I don't give a **** either way, my prime rib was unreal.
But the real highlight of the night was John. If anyone here has ever gone to Harry Caray's, you've probably run into John when you had to visit the john. He's the restroom attendant and inarguably one of the legends of the joint. I first met John a couple years ago when our whole family went down for my cousin's first communion and we got to talking about everything - from his run-ins with Lou Holtz when he coached ND back in the day ("After a bad game, I knew my role when he came in here: squeeze the soap, hand him the towel and shut the **** up.") to his favourite recording artist of all time...Neil Young. Yes, I was caught offguard when an African-American man from the midwest first told me Harvest was his favourite album of all time, sue me. And believe it or not, the sonofabitch remembered me when we came back last week, but probably because he saw my dad first, who kinda makes a point of going there every time he's down for business or to see our family.
"Hey, [Geddy] from Canada, how are you son? Been a long time!"
I told him my buddy and I had tickets to see Neil Young in Toronto in a few months, and he almost lost his mind. In fact, it was the same friend who was with me on the trip. So he comes out at the end of our meal and we get to talking about Neil. He throws his arm around my dad and starts singing like a goddamn legend: "I hit the city and I lost my band, I saw the needle take another man, ohhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhh the damage done...OH BLESS YOU NEIL!" I wish I had a picture of my buddy's face when he encountered an older black man singing Neil Young in pitch-perfect fashion, lol. Instead, I only have this picture:
Saturday's game wasn't worthy of a writeup unless you're a White Sox fan or a member of Gavin Floyd's immediate family, so I'll spare you my misery. But Sunday was amazing. We scored tickets in the United Scout section a few months ago, sitting 6 rows behind home plate; those tickets included unlimited booze and food until the 7th inning. I didn't get any pictures of the loads of White Sox memorabilia inside the dining suite, but this is a picture of our view from the seats:
Not too shabby.
It was a beautiful day for baseball and an even better day for drinking. And when Geddy drinks, Geddy delivers the goods. Any TR worthy of posting in the vaunted 2p2 NHL threads needs some eye candy. This was the best I could find in the section.
4, 3, 2, 1 (Goofy's Method™)
Anyways...those pretty ladies suggested we should hit up Hubbard St. since it was walking distance away from our hotel. Unfortunately, we didn't run into them again (3x thread MVP line isn't getting the action I'd hoped) but we did end up at a club owner/promoters' industry night at the Bull & Bear. Now
that was ridiculous. I wish I had pics and accurate stories to provide from that night, but we ran into a quartet of Jays fans from Whitby, my buddy was told he looks like McLovin, drinks started to flow and...all I remember is waking up at noon on Monday with an almost empty box of Saprino's Pizza on my stomach and HBO on the TV.
McLovin's account of the end of my night:
"Well, you were pretty dusty after the final carbomb, so we went back and ordered pizza. First, you tried to order American Reunion but I talked you out of it, then you tried to order porn and I talked you out of it, then you found Se7en on HBO and I'm pretty sure that's where I passed out too."
One pic I did want to share though, I took my buddy to Portillo's for a quick bite to eat on the Sunday night before we started drinking again. They are the owners of the original 1938 Chicago Black Hawks Stanley Cup Champions banner, having procured it in the Chicago Stadium auction after the Madhouse on Madison closed her doors for good. It's pretty sweet.
We had set aside Monday afternoon as our tourist bro-date, so we hit up Michigan Avenue, we saw the ominous chrome jellybean at Millennium Park, we ate our overpriced downtown bistro lunches and snapped photos at a rate that would've made Wang from Caddyshack proud. But I'd like to share with you the highlight of Monday afternoon...
PAGING WHITEGOOSE, GRANDMA GOOSE, GOOFY AND BILL BERG
We decided to buy tickets for the Chicago riverboat tour, which took us along the Chicago River and into Lake Michigan, pointing out some of the city's most famous architectural feats and nuances along the way. I really enjoyed the tour but I fell in love with our tourguide. Her name is Emily. She's a Chicago-born-and-bred petite blonde sophmore at Wisconsin-Madison, majoring in journalism, with the cutest midwestern drawl you'd ever hope to hear. I swear to God, that accent melts my heart. In my eyes, it turns 7's into 8.5's. She was intelligent, knowledgeable and just so goddamn adorable that I almost jumped into that basin of toxic sewage they call a river as a profession of my newfound love.
Oh yeah, she also had a lovely little rump on her that was accentuated quite nicely by her uniform. This picture was originally intended to illustrate some of the buildings we were being shown, but whatever.
Anyways, we get to talking at the midpoint of the tour, when she got off the mic as we swung around Navy Pier and took a gander at the skyline. We addressed misconceptions, such as whether or not Canadians enjoy free postsecondary education (no) and if she actually chose to attend Wisconsin for its academic reputation or its party reputation ("Well...yeah, we party pretty hard"). She also gave me **** for going to a White Sox game, after which I correctly inferred she must be a Northsider. "Yeah, you bet, diehard Cubbies fan...oh my God, we're terrible." Self-depricating and sports aware? Oh, you li'l devil you.
Naturally, since she's a Badger, we had the following exchange, and it's probably the most hockey-relevant material in this TR, aside from the pic of the banner:
GEDDY: "So, Wisconsin...have you ever run into Pat Kane?"
EMILY: [Most adorable smirk ever] "Yeah...multiple times. He loves Madison."
GEDDY: "Really? When was the last time?"
EMILY: "Cinco De Mayo."
GEDDY: "Wow, you were there eh...so did he actually choke out that girl?"
EMILY: "Well, it wasn't really a choke as much as it was a throttle...and he's kinda weak, so yeah..."
GEDDY: "Lulz. So you were there?"
EMILY: "Well, yeah...[laughs] the girl is actually one of my best friends. I also know her boyfriend quite well...he didn't take it so well, tried to knock him out."
GEDDY: "That's epic."
EMILY: "Even better was the shirt he wore that day...you remember that picture that got him in trouble, when he was shirtless in the limo in Vancouver? Yeah, he had a shirt with that picture on the back."
GEDDY: "Bless your heart, Li'l Tourguide Vixen."
This girl was awesome. I'm not saying she's a perfect 10, and I'm pretty sure some of you will dismiss her based on looks alone. In fact, I don't really think this picture does her justice at all. But she was so warm and personable, so much fun and so easy to talk to...she's the midwestern girl next door. She's wife material.
Goose, to hell with Paulina and the like. There are real girls out there, with hearts of gold, and they're waiting for GOCB's, GOAB's and the occasional non-pizda GORB's to sweep them off their feet.
They really do exist. Keep the faith.
Anyways, that was more or less my trip to Chicago. And the more I think about it, my buddy and I weren't really all that close to breaking into Soldier Field as we originally thought, even though there was a door left open to the United Club seats and we were about to head on through before a security guard asked us what the hell we were doing. But I leave you with my favourite picture of the trip, standing in front of the one of my favourite stadium facades ever:
Yours in hockey and TR's,
Geddy