Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
I recently wrote a Vegas Gaming Poker themed screenplay that won a screenwriting contest. Does anyone have any suggestions as to the best way to market it?
With these two simple sentences, one of the most epic threads in 2+2's history kicked off with no hint of what was about to unfold. If a normal person had written that screenplay, the thread would have been over within a hundred posts. But, Kevin B, aka Gerry Burlage, was no normal man, and this would be no normal thread. Over 4000 completely deranged posts later, the thread would end up nuked from orbit, with only bits and pieces from the Wayback Machine to remember it by. This is its story.
At first, attempts at being helpful trickled in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phildo
i don't know **** about hollywood but i think you're supposed to get an agent to do that for you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
I tried to do that but they won't even read it unless someone in the business recommends it. But now that it has won an award it will probably be easier. I'll start to do that in a couple of weeks when I finish the new ending and get another copyright.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blah45
maybe make a trailer put it on youtube and post it on various poker forums and make a website for itlike any other movie?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
Good suggestion, but I'm not that techno literate yet. I'll maybe look into that over the next year or two. Actually someone did ask me to write a script for 5 people at a poker table for a short film, but I haven't had the time.
Although I think the poker action and poker talk in my script will make all poker players happy, once again the lives of the characters away from the tables is what I think will attract mainstream America.
Had he simply stuck to this kind of discourse, Kevin B might have walked away from the thread having actually learned something. Sadly for him, a few posters decided to try their hand at trolling, and boy oh boy, did he bite.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon
I will buy your script for $1.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon
This offer is only available for a limited time. Act now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon
After buying your script I plan on replacing the main characters with talking kitties and doggies btw.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon
You drive a hard bargain. $3.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
No Dice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon
You drive a hard bargain. $3.
Well the gambling film "21" made over 150,000,000 worldwide and that's not including DVD. I think you're a little low.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon
You will never work in this town again.
In pretty much every thread, the initial posts set the tone for how the rest of the thread will play out. Seeing Kevin B bite on such a stupid line only encouraged others to try their own hand at messing with him, and did he ever oblige.
Quote:
Originally Posted by neuroman
I am in the business. I offer twenty pounds of oranges, and you give me the script and exclusive Taiwanese distribution rights. To show you that I am serious, here is a picture of the oranges.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
Well, if you are really in the business you can private message me with the company you work at.
Quote:
Originally Posted by neuroman
I'm sorry, I should have been clearer--I'm only in the orange business. Best of luck.
Oh Kevin, you poor, dim witted soul. If he had simply ignored those two posters, the thread might have turned out ok. By taking them seriously, the feeding frenzy was on, and Kevin was in no position to win that fight.
As the thread continued on, certain themes came to light. For one, Kevin B really liked his script. Not only that, but he really thought that his script was going to change the world. Like, delusionally thought that. To everyone else, it was obvious that he had just won a ****ty contest designed to generate revenue via entrance fees. To him, he was on a mission to jumpstart both the poker economy and the Las Vegas economy. More from our man Kevin.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
Thanks, we all know poker needs that one great movie to make it even bigger than it is. I think this could be the one. Now all it takes is that one person (producer, director, name actor, wealthy investor) who can make it happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
Well there are some casino scenes but I would think there would be many casinos which would jump at the chance, just for the publicity. The script has some scenes at the Mirage but it really could be any casino. Any casino execs out there. I here business is not too good in Vegas right now. A movie like this would be a great advertisement -- not only for the casino but for the city itself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
Thanks, I will. Hell, if there are any multi-millionaires or billionaires out there I would think it would be a good investment opportunity and a chance to get into the glamor of Hollywood . The money that can be make is huge- "21" make over 150,000,000. Poker is now big over a lot of the world. I think the reason some other poker themed movies didn't make it is that 1) you really didn't care about the characters 2)there were no exciting visuals or action scenes away from the table 3) the other players at the table weren't interesting (with maybe the exception of Rounders). I could go on but I don't want to give away too much.
That last quote introduced another theme that would endure throughout the thread's existence: Kevin's paranoia. Kevin was trying to sell a script. The natural thing that people wanted to see was the script, or at least an excerpt. Yet, time after time after time Kevin would brush off requests to look at the script, convinced that the world was out to steal his brilliant ideas.
Another tactic that Kevin liked to utilize was the name drop. Apparently, his script was filled with poker pros, any of whom Kevin would be more than happy to have finance the film in exchange for a speaking role. So if anyone knows one of them, simply direct them to his thread. Oh, and anyone else even remotely connected to poker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
One of the things I wanted to mention is the following famous poker players are either mentioned or have a cameo in my script.
Amarillo Slim - some dialogue "about" him.
Jack Straus - some dialogue about him.
Doyle Brunson - cameo, no dialogue
Phil Ivey - cameo, no dialogue
Mike Matusow - has a scene with him, and some dialogue from him.
David Sklansky - A closeup of one of his books is shown. It is one of his lesser known books.
If anyone knows any of the above people, you might mention this thread and this post, post #82, to them. If they contact me, I could send them the whole script or a portion of the script that pertains to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
Well if he (or anyone else) could talk Jerry Buss, Sam Simon, Larry Flynt, or some other people in Hollywood (or even non-Hollywood wealthy people) to help finance it, guess what, they're in it.
Obviously there will be a need for other people to sit at the poker tables, so if you're a big investor, you, your relatives, and your friends, are going to be poker players in the film if you want it to happen.
But remember this film is not just about poker, the lives of the characters and the scenery away from the tables is very important too. I tried to make this a film that could appeal to a wide audience but still keep the gambling community happy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
And someone mentioned Johnny Chan. I actually saw him once or twice playing at the Stardust in their pot limit game way back in the 80's. He was pretty much light years ahead of everyone else during the late 80's. I also remember seeing Sklansky in a game over there.
I have played in two games that had world champions at the table. Tom McEvoy over at the Hilton (McEvoy used to always carry his brief case to the table back then). And Bill Smith over at the Gold Coast when he was alive.
T. J. Cloutier said Bill Smith was the greatest player in the world after 2 beers and the worse after 4 (or something similar to that).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
I heard Bill Gates of Microsoft once sat in on a 3 - 6 Hold'em game during a computer convention in Las Vegas. Maybe I'll write him about the movie. Once a player, always a player.
I believe it was at the Mirage, but if anyone knows for certain, let us know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Derekadi
Guys I think we are being leveled here, this guy can't be serious! Asking Bill Gates to finance your movie must be a joke. Honestly many things in OPs replies lead to this being a major level :O
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
Why, if the guy likes poker and has played in hold'em games in Vegas. Billionaires need diversions too. Look at his ex-partner Paul Allen, his diversion is the Portland Trailblazers which he owns. Gates could get some experience making movies with a light entertaining project that deals with a game he likes and a city he has visited many times, and then really get involved making some movies with social impact. If the world is going to change, a blockbuster social themed movie could be a way.
And tell me what you mean by many things. Remember I am writing this thread for the poker/gaming community. If I was writing it for a group of producers, directors, and agents, I would go about it in a whole different way. As I said before, believe me, I know how Hollywood works. This thread is just basically a diversion for me on a gaming site. But you never know who's out there and in fact I have received some legitimate requests about the script from entertainment people.
The poker community is starving for a good poker movie that really captures the essence of the game, but when someone tries to do it he gets criticized by a few. But I know that's the nature of the internet no matter what topic your discussing. There is always going to be negative people out there.
Yes, Bill ****ing Gates was going to be a part of this movie. Maybe he appeals to the Midwestern families Kevin was so desperate to reach?
Remember what I said about Kevin being paranoid?
Quote:
Originally Posted by drdrunk
Hey Kevin could you post a small portion of dialogue between some characters? It sounds to me that dialogue and characters is what you are focusing on.
Quote:
I'd rather not, because I don't want it (or something similar) to end up in someone else's movie or book. But if a film literary agent or entertainment attorney asked (and proved they were legitimate) I would definitely talk to them about the script . Or people like Sam Simon, Jerry Buss, Ray Romano, Chris Ferguson, Don Cheadle, etc. who could help with getting this thing made.
As I said before, believe me, this script will have plenty of exciting modern day poker for the poker community. But once again this is not a quote "poker movie". It is a movie about characters who are involved with the game. (see post 103)
There is also a lot of beautiful scenery of Vegas and the surrounding areas in the script. I lived there for many years. I know the parts of Vegas and Nevada that will look good on film much like the movie "Lost in Translation" had great scenery of Tokyo. And I'm not just talking about the strip scenery.
It's easy to be a critic, but I think this is one of the things that was missing in movies like "Lucky You", Rounders and Deal. Heck, I think Deal was shot mostly in New Orleans.
Oh yeah, and delusional?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
Yea, I will, but movies take a lot of time to get developed and made. But I really think this movie could take the game to the next level in American culture. I mean I'm talking about right up there with basketball and football. A box office smash would help everyone -- gaming book authors, casinos, bring more money into the poker economy, and even help Vegas itself because overall it is favorable to city (and to the game) -- although of course it's not totally candy coated.
So if anyone knows any literary agents, film people, or even very wealthy investors looking for a possible huge profit like happened with "21" let me know. And of course I'll be doing this myself, as time permits.
Oh Kevin, don't ever change. And the good news is, he never did. This was post #117, we still have almost 4k posts left to go. I'm going to need to start skipping ahead or else this is never getting finished.
So yeah, I just jumped ahead to page 22 (the Wayback Machine rolls with 15 ppp, ask tuq if this is a poweruser setting), and it's April 2011, 14 months after Kevin B first made the OP. So far, it's still pretty much the same deal, Kevin posting a lot, usually about dumb ****, paranoid and delusional. Take this post as representative of the time period.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
It is the name of an ebook that has absolutely nothing to do with my screenplay, and since I never noticed it until a couple of weeks ago on the net it almost certainly was copyrighted "after" mine.
And people wonder why I don't want to put actual material from my script in the threads.
I put up a thread called "Things you don't see much in Vegas" and the first entry was "clocks". A couple of months later I noticed someone had started a thread with the exact title as mine the very next day on some sports betting gambling website, and their first entry was clocks. That's why there are Intellectual Property lawyers out there. And for the record I do have an entertainment attorney.
People be stealin' his thread ideas! Have to keep that script safe, it's such a hot property.
This is also the part of the thread where people start throwing out their own script ideas.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon
Cliff,
First, let me thank you for your interest in HOLD 'EM GLADIATORS. The outpouring of support for my script from the poker community has been tremendous.
But I have run into the biggest problem all artists face. Making this an ensemble piece has turned HOLD 'EM GLADIATORS into one of the best scripts I have ever seen. Turning that script into a movie, however, would be extremely difficult. It would require A-list talent across the board both in front of and behind the camera. There are no throw-away parts and I'm not sure the right people can be found for every role. Casting the retiarius/razz specialist is just one such example.
The script also faces the same troubles ESPN has with broadcasting the WSOP every year. While the 2+2 crowd fondly remembers the 2004 KCL final table with Greenstein crippling Lederer the casual poker audience doesn't understand and won't really watch anything but NLHE.
So I am faced with making a piece of art that is extremely unlikely to ever progress towards becoming a film versus creating a more commercially viable script. And at the end of the day we are movie lovers not script lovers.
I am going to have to take HOLD 'EM GLADIATORS in a more audience-friendly direction. At this point an action-comedy/buddy cop type of script is the frontrunning option. But it will take me some time to get things moving that way. Writing and rewriting HOLD 'EM GLADIATORS has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and hard work. I need to take a sabbatical from writing for now until I can give HOLD 'EM GLADIATORS the effort and attention that the script and the poker community both deserve.
I hope you will all understand and I thank you for your continued support. Together we will make HOLD 'EM GLADIATORS a film we can all be proud of. Also, please don't worry, the gratuitous female nudity has been included in every version and will continue to have a place in this script.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkgoat
Everyone: I have a script for a movie about nascar titled "Knights of Talledega" that I will sell for $150,000. It has not lost in any screenwriting competitions and a guy I know who has seen a lot of movies said it was "pretty good." The nascar movie "Talledega Nights" (no relation) grossed $162,966,177 so this is a sure winner. Ive also lived in charlotte for 22 years which is where the nascar hall of fame is so Im basically an expert.
please pm offers
This will be an ongoing theme.
Also just randomly stumbled upon this on page 28, lol Kevin.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
You know I was thinking that if Matt Damon never did Rounders 2 it would be possible to include him as Mike McDermott in my script during the 3rd act. It would only be about 2 or 3 scenes for him so he wouldn't have to spend a lot of his time on the project but I think it would be a great addition and I could write it so that I think most fans of the Rounders 1 would really enjoy it as a fitting end to the Rounders saga.
Just a thought -- if anyone knows him pass it on.
Just if you're bffs with Matt Damon, which I guess makes you Ben Affleck, pass this idea on. But, I guess it worked, because Matt Damon itt
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt Damon
Hello Kevin,
"The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth."
-George Elliot
I mentioned to my friend that you hadn't responded and he told me that I can't send or receive private messages because I haven't been here long enough.
I will gladly give you my agents contact information when I can do so more privately.
I would like to note that I've seen a lot of young men like yourself but none of them have the drive that you have. Even if this script isn't a right fit for me I will make sure it gets seen by other people. Confidence means a lot to me.
-M.D.
Oh, now I'm on page 30 and an important player shows up: fsoyars, a real, working screenwriter. Sure, he just does television so he's probably beneath Kevin and his big screen talent level, but hi fsoyars.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fsoyars
Kevin - sorry, I haven't read this whole thread, it's way too long. But your idea definitely sounds like a good one and I wish you lots of luck. Couple questions:
Where have you sent your script so far? I know that casting a wide net is key to getting a script sold. Have you considered entering it into any screenplay competitions?
Are you currently a professional poker player in Vegas? Not that it matters, bc I'm sure if you're a good writer you could write a great poker movie regardless of what you do. But part of me wonders if actually living and Vegas might lend some credibility to your screenplay. Do you live there now?
One thing that concerns me is the relative lack of success of similar movies in this genre. Rounders did well, but a movie like 21, for example, was, from what I hear, a box office "flop." What about your movie is different from these other movies?
All in all, I hope this works out for you. I love poker and love Vegas and love movies so I'm already a fan! I once had a really interesting talk with a cab driver in Vegas. Those guys are amazing. Maybe there's room for a "cab driver scene" in your script? Just a thought! Good luck!
We finally get an excerpt from Vegas Knights, just not Kevin B's version.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xkf
Hey all, I did some serious digging and managed to find a leaked copy of the first few pages of VEGAS KNIGHTS, hope you enjoy. The formatting got a little messed up but that's 2p2 for you.
Quote:
INT. POKER ROOM - MORNING
Most tables have broken by the wee hours of the morning, but
one's still completely full of degenerates - loud,
obnoxious, hairy men.
There is clearly a KING DEGEN - wearing a light brown gator
hide jacket, unlit cigarette behind his ear, a lit one in
his mouth. He has a huge pile of chips in front of him.
KING
Haven't slept for about 60 hours. I
drove home, fed my dogs, ****ed my
girl, and came back... that was
like 24 hours ago.
His degen buddies laugh it up. A new hand begins.
KING (CONT'D)
Who cares... why sleep when you can
make money, huh? Take money from
you ******s. Sorry, dealer. Raise.
The dealer has stopped trying to keep language clean at this
point. KING throws a few chips in front of him.
DEALER
Raise to 60.
KING turns around and poorly hides as he takes a tiny scoop
of cocaine out of his jacket pocket and bumps. Dealer gives
him a look, but says nothing.
DEGEN #1
Don't wanna play you, man, you got
me.
He folds.
KING
Yeah baby, I got you, I got it all.
This is gonna be a big one, I can
feel it. C'mon dealer, haha. This
**** is my playground. You know how
when you're a kid there's always
that one kid who's the king of the
playground? That's me, baby, King
of this playground. Step up and
challenge me, haha.
Everyone behind folds, until--
PHIL
(softly)
Raise.
We now see our hero, PHIL, sitting quietly in seat 9. He
wears a pair of jeans, a plain white T, and an unassuming
pose. He comfortably slides in a pile of chips from his
stack, which is second largest at the table.
DEALER
Re-raise to 220.
King bursts out laughing as everyone before him folds out.
KING
You sure you want to do that buddy?
Haha, all right, let's play.
He calls and dealer flops 8h 6s 2h.
KING
Check to the big man, haha.
Phil thinks for a moment, then calmly bets.
DEALER
Bet is about 350. 350 exactly.
KING
(immediately)
Raise. 1k.
He quickly shoves in a huge chunk of chips. The rest of the
degens stop hyuking it up - they're silenced as their leader
goes into battle.
PHIL
Call.
He slides in the chips as the dealer turns the Ac. King
lowers his sunglasses and pauses for a single moment, then
KING
Check.
Phil taps the table and the dealer rivers the Qc. King
stares at Phil, looking for any scrap of information, but
gets nothing. Phil looks almost bored.
KING
Put you all in.
DEALER
All in.
A nearby degen chokes on his drink, but nobody pays him any
attention. All eyes turn to Phil, who doesn't show an ounce
of reaction.
He lolls his head around for a few seconds, then checks his
cards.
KING
Clock.
DEALER
Clock.
An elderly floor gentleman comes over and starts counting.
Phil thinks for a few seconds, and laughs very slightly to
himself.
PHIL
Call.
He turns over... a jack and a ten. Everyone stares in
absolute disbelief, dealer included. King is frozen. His
cigarette burns itself down as the seconds crawl by. He
checks his hand, checks the board, checks his hand again.
Finally, he mucks. He stars mumbling to himself.
KING
Jack high? He calls with jack high?
Nobody can ****in call with jack
high!
Phil gathers the chips sent his way and starts racking them
up.
King's chipstack, reduced to a single stack of red chips,
looks absolutely pathetic. King finally stands up, his chair
goes flying backwards and he storms into the bathroom,
pounding a poker table on the way. He punches a drink
machine, which shatters. A few floormen go in after him.
Dealer shuffles up and deals, but nobody even registers,
they all watch Phil as he racks and leaves.
EXT. CASINO - MOMENTS LATER
Phil tucks a wad of hundreds in his back pocket, same bored
expression as always. He looks left, looks right. Sun's
coming up. He lights a cig, and walks off down the strip - a
veritable VEGAS KNIGHT, through and through.
Safety Monitor Dids shows up to tell people to respect his authoratay, lol at how much this will be broken in the future (I'm currently on page 35 of 285).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dids
Posts listing Kevin's real name and sites connected to it have been deleted. Don't be douchey guys.
There's a bit of a gap here in the archives, but fsoyars shows up on page 40 with some REAL TALK. Spoiler alert, it doesn't take, we've still got thousands of posts to go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fsoyars
I don't find Kevin irksome bc he's pretty much harmless to everyone except himself. I find it really funny though that he thinks that everyone trolling him and bumping this thread is only good for his screenplay. He thinks "there's no such thing as bad press" when in reality everything he is doing is only hurting the infinitesimally small chance he has of ever selling his script.
Kevin, I'm going to stop trolling you for two seconds and give you some real advice: your script is worthless and it will never sell so just give up on that. I won't tell you to stop writing, but please be aware that making it is a long shot for you and it should be something you're doing on the side while pursuing your real career. Of course I haven't read your script but the complete lack of awareness and savvy you've displayed in this thread makes it painfully obvious that at this point you don't have what it takes to realize this dream.
I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh. If you had displayed any humility or awareness itt I probably would have tried to soften it. But I kind of feel like you need to hear this. The screenwriting contest award is worthless. The positive script coverage is worthless. This thread is worthless. Any chance you have of ever selling a script will depend on you first realizing those things, then realizing that Vegas Knights most likely won't sell (the genre alone is tired and unwanted), and then realizing you have to keep writing and get better at it all the time and work on a new script. And then, it still probably won't happen. Good luck.
And god, Kevin B just crushes it in his response.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
I don't take advice from trolls.
Especially trolls that haven't read a word of a 1st place award winning screenplay.
At some point, Kevin B goes from being trolled to trolling everyone else. I'm not sure if this is the exact point, but by this point, it's pretty much all madness going forward, be warned. dkgo confirms later on this page.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkgoat
hes definitely trolling now, but there are 9/11 conspiracists who are less delusional than this guy
And good old Kevin B makes the very next post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
Same ol', same ol', negative stuff. Anyway this thread is about poker movies.
Maybe later I'll give my take on the films Lucky You and Deal since no one else did when I asked.
Got bored and jumped ahead to page 58, ED is dropping some knowledge about Cuba Gooding Jr.
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Diablo
fsoyars,
Yes, I have seen Snow Dogs and agree Cuba was awesome. I personally did not think he was great in Chill Factor, but I can understand that is a matter of personal taste and agree to disagree. However, he clearly was not great in Men of Honor. Either you haven't seen that (in which case your whole argument is totally suspect) or you saw it and thought he was great (which perhaps he was by TV standards). However, as a movie expert, I can tell you that was certainly not a great performance BY A FILM ACTOR. I understand that you want to be all like "ooooooohhhhh look at me I am a writer with an agent" to try and impress people on 2p2, but at the end of the day your TV credentials are like a nickel and dime grinder compared to the high-stakes world of FILM SCREENWRITING. So keep criticizing Kevin B along with "I once got fired from a peon job at a studio" private joker, "I cast some people in (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL) commercials (HAHHAHAHHAHA COMMERCIALS)" LFS, and "I wear a suit and crunch numbers" Sal. I'm sure you guys can keep impressing people who know nothing about the business, but everyone here who actually has any knowledge and pull in the film industry thinks you guys are a total ****ing joke.
PS: Cuba is also not looking great in Red Tails and One in the Chamber, but I'm sure you don't have access to that footage yet.
We've now reached the point in the thread where Aloysius (aka SalmondRushdieFTW, what a terrible name) is writing his own script or something, and Oski is helping him. Take note of this, I would characterize this as a good post by Oski, this isn't something that happens every day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oski
Well, you could use this plot device (taken from a real case I worked on):
Protagonists sit down for a nice evening of Pai Gow; gambling is involved. The host of this 20 person affair (takes collections) plays at a particular table along with our protagonist, a cook in a Chinese restaurant. The cook rents a room in the house. The host, has a part-time live in girlfriend who happens to be married.
After losing his money, cook retires to his room and falls asleep.
After about an hour of fitful sleep, there is loud banging at the door and a lot of yelling from outside. The cook just want to sleep. The banging continues and cook yells (his room close to door) to "shut the eff up" (or Chinese equivalent).
Right then, host knocks on cooks door and tells him that he needs cook to answer the front door because he is scared of the man. Cook reluctantly agrees. As he exits his room, Host pushes girlfriend into Cooks's room (without Cook seeing it).
Cook opens the door and gets knocked aside by Husband who is yelling for the Host. Host appears at the top of the stairs in a robe pretending to have just awakened. Host asked him what his problem is. Husband starts yelling that he's heard that Host has been boning his wife, etc. Host, says that's totally not true, but that he would not be surprised if someting like that was happening to him. As he says that, Host conspiciously nods in the direction of Cooks room.
Husband gets the hint, and heads for the room, just in front of Cook who has recovered and is heading back to bed. Husband barges in room to see wife, epic brawl breaks out between Husband and Cook.
Fight spills out into Pai Gow room, and Cook gets better of the cuckold Husband. Old Man yelling that they are messing up game. As Cook has Husband pinned down, Old Man takes vase and smashes Cook over head, causing him to roll off of Husband. While Husband is still dazed and uncovered, Mad Woman takes a floor lamp and smashes Husband in the balls.
Host watches the whole thing from the top of the stairs.
Anyhow, cops come and make arrests. However, before the cops actually come, Cook and Husband are dragged outside and placed in the yard. One "witness" stays with them to engage the cops when they arrive. The rest of the folks stay silently in the house with the lights turned off (like a busted high school party).
Neither Cook nor Husband knows what's going on, witness able to convince cops that Husband was the one at fault. Husband leaves in squad car; Cook leaves in ambulance.
Witness goes inside and game resumes.
Now for the plot device: (this part is fiction). After getting out of the slammer, Husband plots revenge against Host. He decides to train a few plants to infiltrate his Pai Gow game. Of course, the recruits have never played Pai Gow, but they are well versed in other gambling, etc.
So, we can have a quasi-montage as the crew learns, practices, hones, and sharpens their Pai Gow game in anticipation of busting up the Host and his cronies.
I call it: Pai Gow Knights
Some random 13 year old Canadian shows up to threaten Oski with a lawyer, I call this foreshadowing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by YB2009
hey wait a gotdam minute here! I already wrote the synopsis for Kevin to da B's thrill packed adventure, including teh PAI GOW angle. Don't be making me get a lawyer speaking guy .
Quote:
Meet John, 12 years working at Nevada Motors, wife, 2 kids, dog, 2nd mortgage on the house.
And Bob, middle management going on 7 years now. On his second marriage, hasn't missed a single alimony payment.
By day, all through the week just your regular guys, working, eating, sleeping. Watering their lawns.
But when Saturday night comes their world changes. Together they head out, and when the bright neon hits the cooling strips pavement, the shackles of mundanity are tore off. Join us in thrills and adventures of the every man, when they become "Vegas Knights."
Cameo performance by Matt Damon. Playing the well-adjusted New York stock broker, living out his dream of working on the floor, as the friendly and courteous PAI GOW dealer, Steve.
Running time. 4 hrs:36 mins.
So I'm skipping ahead again, this time to page 95. Kevin seems a little bit agitated, I don't know why, maybe you can figure out what this post means.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
This is Kevin B, the following is a response to post 1422 made by metaname2.
____
metaname2 So now you are saying that you have already sold the screenplay?
__
KB trollish falsehood #!
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meta) I call BS. How dare you go around calling me a troll when NOTHING you have posted here adds up.
1. First you come on here blabbing away about how you have shopped around this screenplay for 7 years
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KB) Trollish falsehood #2 -- and I could sue someone who said 5 years who was pushing his own script and might have sold it.
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meta) and it has won all these awards and so on - but you won't actually let anyone read it? WTF.
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KB) Trollish falsehood #3, It would be sent to Diablo within a day if he told me his name and I could verify it, and at least 2 people on 2 + 2 have seen the script.
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Now you are telling us that you sold the script and the owners are already moving forward with casting? Pretty inconsistent.
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KB Trollish falsehood #4.
I would have thought people with intelligence would understand I was implying "any possible owners". The script is still available, and probably for the price of some poker hands at Bobby's Room. Hell, who knows, some multimillionaire might just buy it to say "Hey, I own a poker themed movie script with 2 awards -- I'll keep it in my closet in case poker really blows up when regulated and gets much bigger worldwide, even in places like India and China."
The script has been US copyrighted, it will be around forever.
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meta) 2. I don't care what anyone says here, I think Finding Forrester is a fine film. Frankly, I don't know how it can be improved upon, but if there is a way it certainly doesn't involve time-traveling poker players.
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KB) Well I'll give you this one, this is only a trollish implication.
But as I have said before and will probably have to say again since you are a troll, and probably someone with an ulterior motive, my script has nothing to do with Time travel.
I see you are from New York and have only 104 posts. You aren't by any chance the person who also has a private joker alias are you Mr. Metaname2 ???
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meta) I mean WTF? That is just completely bizarre. Do you even have the rights to the Finding Forrester franchise? I think you are having a joke at our expense.[/ QUOTE]
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KB) What joke are you talking about, give us a post #.
As I have said, the only reason I brought Finding Forrester in here is because its writer (a disc jockey) entered it into a contest, and won with it, and a couple years later he is discussing movie scenes with Sean Connery.
Mr. Man from New York with 104 posts, I think you're more than just a troll to put this much effort into a post. I believe you are someone who fears my script and is trying to damage it for ulterior motives. I wouldn't be surprised if you are shopping one around yourself or know someone who is.
At some point El Diablo started negotiating with Kevin B to buy his screenplay, this is page 103.
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Diablo
fsoyars: I think it would be appropriate for you to put a disclaimer on your posts disclosing your current involvement in getting a poker project of your own (or in collaboration with Sal) produced. You are clearly not an unbiased party here.
Kevin: I am interested in moving forward, but don't want to waste anyone's time here. If your script is as good as you say it is, I'm ready to draw up a deal. I don't want to waste time reading it if you are going to be a pain to negotiate with, though. So before I send you my info, I just want to make sure you're OK with our terms. What we're thinking would be fair is a $1 18-month option. If the movie is produced for a budget of under $5M, you will get $50,000 up front with a .15% NET profit participation. With a budget of over $5M, you will receive an additional $10,000 up front for each $1M in budget up to a maximum of $100,000. Please confirm that if we do move to an offer stage you would be OK with those terms.
But Kevin B blew it somehow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Diablo
Kevin,
The things you mentioned on option length, extension fees, termination clauses and up-front compensation amounts are all fine. However, if you are serious in any way about something like 2-5% net profits, there is no point at all in discussing any further. I mentioned that at brunch to a couple of the exec producers we're working with and let's just say that hilarity ensued. They all thought I was generous offering you any profit participation at all in this type of situation, but as an entrepreneur myself I felt like you deserved a kicker if this turned into a monster hit. However, it seems like we are just on completely different planets here in terms of expectations.
I appreciate your response, but unfortunately the amounts your expectations are at a level I and my team consider borderline delusional, therefore it would be a waste of both of our time to continue discussions any further. Best of luck in your efforts with this script, I hope for the sake of you and the poker community that you end up getting this movie made and it's a huge success.
Coverage is getting pretty spotty, but on page 130, Kevin B is on tilt since someone made a gimmick using his real name.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerry B
fsoyars,
I've already sent El Diablo a copy of my screenplay to pass along to Harvey Weinstein, and I'd be happy to send it to you as well. Please let me know how I can get in contact with you, and I'll email you a copy.
Even though, I found this website under poor circumstances, I'm thrilled I did. You all have amazing connections here, and I'm really excited to see where Vegas Knights can go from here with your help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
LOL, now someone is trying to impersonate my real name, first we have a Matt Damon poster, then a Harvey Weinstein poster, then a Real Matt Forbeck (the author of that Harry Potter Vegas script where the characters change the cards magically) poster. and now someone is pretending to be me in Oregon. LOL, Mr. Gerry B. (the man with 3 posts), what a loser.
Folks, you really need to ask yourself, why all the energy against a script/author that can help the poker industry (post 1522) and put more money in players' pockets. You really need to think about that. Either they are losers or they have an ulterior motive.
By the way, we're up to July at this point, this thread has been going on for almost a year and half. I've got 1.5 as the fair over under for the number of hookers he's killed in his life.
I'm quite sad, because we just skipped ahead to page 144 and I saw this post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LKJ
Kevin,
You once posted in this thread for 24 hours straight.
I'm not convinced that you're in a position to make this recommendation.
Which means that TonyP's (I think it was TonyP?) breakdown of Kevin B's posting habits were not archived. For those of you now around for this ****show, at one point in the thread, Kevin B posted for 24 consecutive hours with a maximum of about one hour in between posts, which Tony noticed and documented. That's some impressive dedication.
Also missed:
Quote:
Originally Posted by LKJ
I am left to wonder what level it's on that Kevin friended somebody named Zzac Efron on Facebook.
Yep, Kevin went around friending random people on facebook he thought were actors to try and push screenplay on them. Sadly, Zzac Efron is not a real account, hope he didn't spend 24 straight hours trying to contact him.
Again, more tragedy. I don't have any pages between 144 and 180, during which time our very own Riverman, A LAWYER and, at that time, an assistant at some big shot LA talent agency, actually received a copy of the script. Unfortunately for Kevin, it got him no closer to making a movie. So, this is the first mention I see of this, from a quote on page 180.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riverman
I was being nice. It's comically bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riverman
I really did want it to be good. It just isn't. And while people are certainly entitled to their opinions and reasonable people often disagree as to the quality of screenplays, this one has so many fundamental errors that really nobody with any idea what they are doing would say it is anything other than poor at best.
You can't have massive blocks of dialogue everywhere, you're not Aaron Sorkin. The plot has to be moving forward, you have to develop characters, there should be some humor, etc.
So yeah, the script sucks, who could have guessed. Although the good news for Kevin is that Riverman is the one passing judgement, so it would probably end up grossing 300 million anyways if he can find a way to get it made.
Anyways, there's a bunch more pages missing again, so we pick it up on page 244. TimmyB has a curious quote to start the page:
Quote:
Originally Posted by TimmayB
Dude, post the script or get back to raping your brother.
Whoa, it appears that Gerry Burlage of Portland, Oregon raped his brother at some point during the missing 64 pages! I also seem to remember fsoyars getting raped at some point too, but again, the record is scrubbed. Who knows how deep the conspiracy goes?
Oh yeah, Gerry said this at some point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin B
the above is lie from the pit of hell
I don't have the context, but damn, that's some fine writing. Award winning probably.
Anyways, that's about it. There's a bunch of stuff missing, my personal favorite being that this was a giant troll orchestrated by Assani. He did pop in once or twice, post something in the voice of Kevin B, and then delete his post. I WANT TO BELIEVE. Really, this was just such a massive thread that it's virtually impossible to sum it up completely in a writeup, especially when I'm missing two thirds of the content. For those of you who were there, you know how insane it was. For those of you who weren't, trust me, it was slightly more coherent than this writeup. I am happy to report that, two years later, Kevin B is still at it, randomly tweeting at celebrities via his
@pokerscreenplay account. He even started up a
new thread on some site called FullContactPoker, although it appears to lack the magic of this one. There was also a
retrospective thread started after the original thread was locked/deleted, maybe you can read that for some more background. Anyways, goddamn, this was a ****ing writeup, I hope you all enjoyed it. If you want to read the original thread, I pulled what I could from the wayback machine and uploaded it to dropbox, so dig in.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/y06x49bd8zmdwdl/Indices.zip
Team for now:
FGators saga
ZeeJustin Multiaccounting scandal
Kwazar was in an accident
Poker Movie. Singular. Specifically "Vegas Knights" by Kevin B
Last edited by Dudd; 11-12-2013 at 10:35 PM.
