you probably just didn't find something you like doing hence the laziness. also there is middle ground between being lazy and a workaholic, most of the people are there (myself included :P)

You're right about the second part, almost. We are obsessed with sex because it's in our genes. we want to procreate, a natural drive/instinct, just like animals it's natural and very fun/pleasant/etc

work related, society has been trapped in the idea that in order to have a life you have to "finish school, college, get a job, get a wife, have kids" and frowns upon everyone who doesn't fall into this pattern. it's ok to not wanting your life to be like this. as long as you have means to live, just do what you want.

life is about enjoying yourself, not meeting up other people s expectation of you.


classical question: what would you rather fight, 100 duck sized bears or 1 bear sized duck ?

What kind of family donations are you talking about.

Your sexual mindset is something I struggle to understand. You have no sexual attraction whatsoever to woman right? Do you have more/less/same disregard for men? Could you try it out with a man?

I forgot if you ever had a sexual experience before? If not, wouldn't you want to try it, just for the sake of it, as an experience?

man, you seem like a nice guy, i wish i could give you some constructive advice...

if we would live in the same town, i would probably kick your butt out of the house to see the world - and not just through the internet

I ordered the Oblomov book, looks like something for me, I love Чехов

Just get a cat! not only is it good company it never disagrees with any strat or undermines any GTO calculations

No thanks, my cat used to fight for my physics textbook, so these animals are surely a slight obstacle in learning.

I think the latter: though I don't particularly like HU, it's gonna be a big part of my bread and butter (I mean the HU phase of 2-card STTs), while MTTs require a lot more stamina and confidence than I have, and also in PLO, HU >>> MTTs because I fail to make ICM and stack size adjustments in the latter.

In Soviet Russia, people feel obliged to ensure that their children and grandchildren aren't hungry nor homeless. It's a very different attitude from the one in most first world countries, where children get full independence as soon as they reach the legal age. To my shame, my liferoll originates from my grannies' savings that they voluntarily forfeited (I didn't beg them).

As we say in Russia, 'don't wake the evil while it sleeps quietly' I.e. I think I'll be doing better without ever exploring that area of life.

But I've never been visualising such interpersonal activities as vividly as other people do. If sleeping with another person had enough societal benefits, I'd rather pay that person to not do it but still lie to everyone that we've slept. (That's deemed high school level of thinking, I know, but I'd rather stay forever in middle school times when I and the opposite gender appreciated each other basing purely on personalities.)

If you want to learn about this orientation, start by reading Ron Burgundy's classical AMA and the AVEN FAQ (whenever that page is down, view the backup board instead).

I've forgotten almost everything I was taught about our literature... I'm sure Goncharov did, despite leaving rather small a legacy, have a major influence on the styles of Chekhov and other fellow realistic writers, but I'm not sure if this influence was stronger than Turgenev's.

You can still find a woman/ a man/ a whatever and appreciate her/him for his/her personality AND for her/his appearance/look or also take one you only appreciate for personality if you don't care about having a good looking man/woman around.

Culture question: I may be blind when saying that but, isn't being homosexual somehow forbidden/considered very bad in Russia?
Not saying you are homosexual (some would take it as an offense LOL), just asking.

I surely can 'take' one if I suddenly want, but the key point is that I'm not pressured to do so, I owe them nothing

There's a federal Russian law prohibiting propaganda of non-traditional sexual relationships (that doesn't apply to asexuality!) to minors and stricter local laws (against propaganda to adults or exposure) in some regions, but since the breakup of the USSR, homosexual relationships (of mutual consent) aren't criminal on their own.

And no, I don't think I'm homosexual. It could be fun as it's easier to understand a fellow man than a woman, but it's not my nature. Or maybe I haven't met the right man yet, who knows

It's interesting you claim to suck at poker, yet are clearly mathematically intelligent and also good at chess. With all your 'free time' one would expect strong progress. But, I suppose chess is only one game and thinking about poker using a chess based/developed arithmetic model and having Russian Language in there somewhere does not yield a game I can comprehend.

How emotional are you? Now? Growing up? I kind of guess (stereotype) that asexual people are kind of leaning towards 'sociopathicness' and flatness, somewhat educated due to Testosterone role in both. But it seems more psychological - a decision - opposed to natural predisposition.

BTW you owe femininity your life, the nothing part is subjective though : /

I don't reccomend cannabis, I been smoking it for 13 years or something now solidly, and just 24 hours away from it unveils many things.
It's not good. I commend you for your resistance to such unhealthy pursuits, women is a bit of a coin flip though. Apparently having a spouse is very important for health.

When I was playing chess at a local club at the age of 13, I had severe mental game problems too, cried several times after getting a lost position (one time it impressed my opponent so much that he blundered, allowing me to get what would be a key draw).

As years went by, I learned not to cry except very intense moments (though still more often than other guys, and, to make things worse, in important talks with my family), but I still tend to screw up the rest of the game after getting upset by an own mistake or just an unexpected amount of tension in the position.

I.e. one of my (and surely not only mine) biggest problems is the failure to apply cool logic when it's needed.

You're reading my thoughts! :/ I do blame my mother for producing me, especially because she was 37 at the time, which likely resulted in a few inborn anomalies like Asperger's (orientations not being on that list, though ).

There is always a right answer in chess, in poker there isn't. You can use that fact to increase or decrease your temperature. I tend to play chess better as the moves continue, and I will recognize a point where I have literally no choice but to make the best move (combined with how stupid I think my opponent is, if against some kind of IM i will be stressed from first move). My a game is where I sense equilibrium being stressed, in poker that is every hand and every decision, but I do not understand chess enough to realize that it is from the beginning. In chess all the positions mould into one big thing, in poker you are whim to the universes unpredictable forces. 'Cool logic' is impossible to find when the variables are chaotic. YOu just have to hope your chaos is at the same wavelength as the universes' chaos, or someone elses chaos is cool logic to you.

So is it suffering losses in human competition that upsets you most? Or making mistakes?

It's making mistakes that upsets me, even if I get lucky then. They add up, and I start thinking 'oh no, I'm playing my B- game again, but I have to try and play a decently sized session because otherwise I won't be playing as much as I must do to gain confidence'.

Fwiw, it's been 6 days since I last played a serious session, and these days have been exactly the time when it's most +EV for me to play (especially with WCOOP satellites running).

Confidence usually increases with triviality. So does apathy. I see alot of paradoxes in you. Pick a side, because you seem on the fence in many things, or are hesintantly looking in one direction 'because someone told you to'.It is very difficult to know when you have made a mistake in poker (once past the obvious fold 72o preflop facing 7 all ins). In PLO it is even ****ing harder, and thoguhts like, 'If I had folded that top gap preflop I would not have lost, I made mistake' - but then you win with it against someone who palyed the double gapper lower ranked and you are a genius.

Apathy is the optimal thing in poker imo, often confused with confidence, but confidence is something that can be broken down, apathy is nothing. It's a vice:virtue thing I suppose, but onyl because of connotations and attatchements that confidence and apathy has with other things such as drive, ego success, I guess you can go further than apathy into masochism, and this can also yield great games. There must be some other variable, which I have been seeking but not found. I think it's language personally. **** KNOWS.

I've read the topic and i was wondering if you could be autistic c o o n 74 (like Aspergers' syndrome).

I say so because i saw similarities in your posts with some personal experiences.
I've thought i was asexual between 18 and 22, now i think i'm straight (i'm 24).
I see myself in the "cry more than - even though you don't know how frequently people - guys would in general", a hypersensitivity that sometimes makes you overwhelmed.
I often see myself offended by small remarks that should not affect one.

I was wondering if you could be autistic because i'm pretty sure i am (not diagnosed, it takes like a year for an adult to get an appointment in a CRA (centre ressources autisme) and get a diagnosis).
But my brother (2 years younger) is autistic (Kanner, so classic autism with important impairments) and on every test on the internet (i know internet tests but some are used in clinical settings like the Autistic Quotient AQ, the Empathy Quotient EQ, the SQ-R, the RAADS-R Ritvo, the rdos Aspie Quiz) i'm in the autistic range, either slightly below or slighty over or way over.
I've been diagnosed gifted at 21 (IQ = +3sd) but feel like it's not the biggest part of my differences.
I've seen a psychiatrist who felt like i could be autistic so i will see another one (created a CRA in Britany but now works on liberal too on Paris) to get a diagnosis.

(A girl ive known through an asexual website, that i could talk like 8 hours a day during weeks with on the internet - she is not from my country - is, now that i've read quite a bit about asperger, i would say autistic.
And i would say it's (way) more pronounced than me (she was as bad as me for IRL relationships but she had a really gigantic memory, was obsessed and super knowledgeable about "not girly" things like sports especially football (the real one, not the fake american one ) but also baseball, etc, cars).
Question : should i tell her i think she could be autistic ?
We haven't talked since the WC (she is Brazilian ) and we were talking less (i was talking a lot with her when i thought i was asexual) after this awkward moment she sent me a mail telling me she was in love in me (i can't say if it was reciprocate or not, i loved talking with her, but i didn't know if was friendship or more + the distance France Brazil makes it difficult to say the least ).
So, would you get "offended" if someone from the interwebs, you used to talk a lot with, would tell you it could likely that you are autistic ?
I know i work from assumptions (since i'm not personnally diagnosed) but isn't what poker is, incomplete informations


Sorry for the long story, but yeah c o o n 74 have you thought you could be on the autistic spectrum (i haven't written the reasons that make the reasons that make me think i'm autistic but one should first see he is "impacted" by the autistic triad (so in the fields of communication, especially non verbal, social interactions and circumscribed interests, and other "routines" types of behaviors. )


EDIT : why the word " c o o n " is mucked ?
Does that mean something bad ?

*** im an idiot i didn't read all the posts and not the one after the quote of Mtfishnoob you made where you talked about having asperger's.
So are you diagnosed ? How old were you when you got diagnosed (in France, they are completely lost, lots of psychiatrists are still on the psychanalyst freudian bull****, so it's really hard to get diagnosed if you are an adult, maybe even more if you have an high IQ and coped during years and years, and if you're a woman - i'm not but they are apparently more invisible than men.

The relatives deny that I have Asperger's or anything else on the autistic spectrum, and I've never attempted to get officially diagnosed, it would change close to nothing anyway.

I see no problem in talking about autism with the Brazilian, maybe not pointing her directly to the fact that she's autistic herself, but subtly educating her on the subject when an opportunity arises in a talk, so that she could recognise herself in what you'll be picturing. And anyway, you're sounding like this relationship is of little value to you now, so you shouldn't worry much about how it will work out, just do it and talk to her about autism, maybe she'll thank you for the biggest discovery of her life.

After you realised you aren't asexual (what made you betray the cake ideals? ), do you still consider yourself demisexual? It's somewhat strange to me that you've spent much willpower to acknowledge your asexuality (at least to most people, it's usually a difficult and painful self-discovery, not to me, though) and then gave up that small victory and fell back into conformist sexuality



P.S.: coon74 is not censored, but '****' is an offensive synonym for 'Afro-American'.

Asperger's has nothing to do with sexuality as far as I know. Although I have noted from my contact/work with them that they get particularly emotional with regular relationship things.

The link, as I mentioned earlier, is that testosterone in the brain at fetal stage, works by removing 'emotion center' parts of the brain, and also increase attraction to females. I believe this happens throughout child hood development also. I was tempted to ask coon74 how hairy he was, just to follow this line of thought, and guessed that coon74 is probably pretty hairy, like a raccoon. 'Asexual' historically means that you provide your own offsrping through asexual reproduction i.e don't require a mate. (Maybe there is correlation due to similar development processes of the brain also sometimes having a testosterone effect (so reducing hetero sexuality and perhaps combined with environmental conditioning against **** sexuality)

Sexuality, although proved to be conditioned by testosterone in brain, I believe is ultimately psychological or environment based. Evidenced by i.e the stereotype of the effeminate **** sexual , or the 'mullet dyke' that is over protective of their pretty girlfriend.

I would consider an asexual as someone who has not the ability to become aroused by environmental stimulus )this includes elderly people who have 'past it'). I know from inflection that I can manipulate/withdraw this myself. I would say I am a hetero sexual because it is pretty damn easy for a woman to seduce me but if a man tries it he is getting a stone cold stunner.

Thanks for the message coon74.

I thought i was asexual because i think i could experience aesthetic and romantic attraction (being attracted to a girl, wanting to have a romantic relationship) but the sexual part did not show up i think.
As for males i can say if someone is good looking (or if i would like to have a physical feature someone has) but no sexual or romantic attractions.

I think the sexual part wasn't present simply because i didn't masturbate, that might sound crazy but i started masturbation at 22, on like a random "oh im weird for not being interested in sexual gratification, so maybe i should try" (i had a couple wet dreams, so i knew the parts worked, but it was extremely rare like once in like a year or something, my libido was probably fked by my medication (i have a crohn's disease).
But it was more like a gregarian and experimental thing that a real need, and im not usually the type to follow other people behaviors, like i have never understood the interest for alcohol or drugs (i have never experimented neither of them, except like a couple mouthfuls because an uncle is trying to push you to try it at a family dinner ... I usually never do a thing to get friends or because it makes you appear better among your peers, just because it's a thing that seems interesting.
But i guess i have never been attracted by these sensorial experiments teens seem to do (and even before they do those they seem really high on being drunk for the first time and so).

Now that i masturbate (not really frequent) i guess i could see myself having sex with a girl, but it would need to be someone im intimate with.
Physical intimacy sounds weird to me in general (i have never been comfortable with conforting someone, i don't really like being touched or things like that, i don't know it's an aspie thing since i don't know if im an aspie), so with nudity it's even more weird.

So even if i don't consider myself asexual, i think sexuality is way less important for me than average 20's guy.

For the girl i was talking about she told me that the year after her revealing her interest for me, she went back to school (she had some health issues) and she told me a guy, that she considered good looking, asked her out but she wasn't interested in dating him (i guess, more precisely, in dating someone).

I don't know if i will talk to her soon, but yeah i don't know how i will approach the "autism" subject, if i approach it, i might not get the balls, because you can't know how the person will react.
I think she would take it positively, maybe she already wondered about it, but i might be totally wrong and she may not be an aspie so.

For the autism/sexuality part i don't know if there is a link but on the rdos test http://www.rdos.net/eng/ there are some questions about sexuality like are you asexual ? or something like do you have weird interests in your sexual life ?
Don't know what are the conclusions to these questions but there is this type of questions in the third version (done it in english, these "sex" questions aren't present for example on the version 2 that i passed in french).

You gotta get out of your comfort zone a lot more, force yourself to be in uncomfortable positions. A few hundred times, seems like your emotional development was stunted and now you have underdeveloped self-worth, emotional stability and work ethic. I'm not criticizing you, trying to help, the best kinds of things for you would be to be around masculine men and feminine women so your self-imposed mental confines are forced away by interacting with people.

In my opinion it all comes down to not being around people enough and the result is the sense of existential nothingness where your life means nothing because it's nearly impossible to have a self actualized life without frequent human interaction. Internet chat doesn't help, you need to be in uncomfortable situations over and over so you develop emotionally. You can't appreciate what you have until you realize the struggle other people have. Your language indicates you most likely don't have to worry about disease, poverty, abuse or homelessness so your situation is actually better than the majority of the world. The world is your oyster but you don't see it because you probably don't spend enough time around other people. Might I venture a guess that you have social anxieties and fear of judgement with a slight touch of agoraphobia (being trapped within a group of people and you can't escape)

Not sure you understand vector, also I still have the perception that you are delusional from all your 'run bad' rants and your adivce is highly untrustworthy from a naive mind.

It's a bit Freudian and a bit evolutionary psychiatry, but everybody socializes for eventual survival and reproductive reasons. From study, inflection and consideration of others, sexuality and mojo play a huge role in confidence. I am far more uninhibited if I am needing to unload, I am far more un inhibited further on into my testosterone cycle, the same also goes for emotions (but male homosexuality is also linked to heightened emotions), which are essentially methods of communication (feminine side of conventional sexual traits). I may also be ignorant for I too stated I believe that this things are ultimately psychological, but it is not far fetched to theorise that some people are not wired correctly chemically or neurologically and may be predisposed to asexuality, which in turn for the reasons I mentioned would have an effect on social aptitude. The solutions you provide are not likely to work if there is some kind of physical rationale or disorder linked to the asexuality, you appear to be addressing your comments to the shy kid you knew from class at school. 'Hang out with the popular kids more' 'stop being emo'

With all the porn nowadays and the sexed up western society, young minds are getting constantly battered by testosterone. My own mind has probably been exposed to 10k times the normal sexual stimulus as someone born 200 years ago.

Also you don't consider that maybe people don't want to change, your advice is probably alienating.

BTW from what I've read you want to be unloading once between 9 and 18 days, it is highly variable depending on individual and how your 'clock' has been set. Not restarting your testosterone cycle I'm sure has negative effects on the brain, as does doing too much.

Well there goes your credibility and any respect I had for you. This is a place to vent about poker. I've got 2 jobs and 2 degrees, one of them in psychology so take a hike with your baseless ad hominem attacks. Can't even spell my username right, get a life. Good work outing yourself as a low IQ lemming that makes false assumptions.

Did not mean offence, it is just a first impression, I did not mean that you do not understand due to my first impression, the 'also' was an aside to explain my bias towards your writing, which ok you are not interested in but I ahve to be transparent in my critism of your post and i feel i did so sensibly. Sorry that you cannot process criticism rationally, it only strengthen my original perception of your distortions. YOu ahve a very authorative view on things which is not justified, that includes reality, humanism ect and this was obvious from your historical unjustified rants. You recommended cannabis ffs. You are clearly very ignorant.

I've never gotten along with (academically informed) psychologists. Highly ignorant school of philosophy (no way am I calling it a science).
I mean look at this ****. You do not even offer a rationale. Saying tos omeione you reccomend that they don't ahve kids is one on the most arrogant and insulting things I've heard in a wwhile and this is coming from a self proclaimed master of trolling.

You're correct, they're independent.

I'm hairy in some places only because I've never (or seldom) shaved there. But e.g. my chest and legs have always had way fewer (though some) hair than that of an average Italian.

'Asexuality' is just a newly created term for an orientation that has nothing to do with asexual reproduction.

Maybe we have to ask sexual fellow posters how different sex is from mutual masturbation; I guess that they're entirely different processes - sex involves a lot of sensuality; I've heard somewhere that most women can guess whether a partner is thinking about them or someone else, and of course they'll usually be angry with a partner who's 'mentally absent' during sex.

Chances are that you're a masturbating asexual like me [I wank mostly to unusual fantasies, though, not conventional images or porn; but as soon as I realised that I don't need to do it compulsively to be healthy, I reduced the frequency dramatically ] and you're perhaps eager to try out mutual masturbation (rather than sex) under some special conditions (like no female nudity; I'm repulsed by it too), though you may of course be a demi. As usual, I can't attach a label to you, only you can figure out who you are.

I agree in an 'official sense' - but semantically the term definitely stemmed from asexual reproduction. They share many similarities, i.e asexual creatures and plants have no selection or physiological response to other lifeforms. Asexual creatures/plants contain no system, behavior or function for sexual reproduction. And an absolute asexual human would not have this either (but the illsuion is there due to self awareness and our hold on our behavior). Humans have the ability to clone themselves now, or in the future, although it (probably) hasn't been done for ethical reasons. Asexual reproduction is certainly possible and who is most likely to want to do so? The asexual imo. SO I would say you are not a true asexual at the moment, you choose to be so due to perception of femininity and I think you are in denial of your isntincts i.e I'm pretty sure if 5 of the hottest women ever were to seduce you in brazzers style, you would be privy.

Organisms which utilize asexual reproduction certainly fit this criteria. And it works in vice versa if the psychical characteristics of a human are just right - and if it is absoloute asexuality opposed to just 'low'.
There was a guy in my uni who made claims of being asexual, he now has a girlfriend and everyone always thought he was gay. I reckon that people who have difficulty in impressing/mating with women turn to asexuality as an excuse for their/society's perceived perception of 'losing the game'. Self materialization of asexuality can easily be a cog diss strat. Again this relates to testosterone, brain structure and behaviour.

Also consider that in the grand scheme of things, single cell organisms at some point developed sex - which has interesting implications to the embryo- and also I am recently leaning towards a theory that the brain is pretty much a massive bacteria as it behaves in very similar ways to bacteria - i.e with vitamin k and bacteria being able to calculate despite not having neurons- but that is very complicated and I can't really explain it yet. SEmantics often distinct humans from all other life forms, but the lines blurr everywhere.

Many asexuals still want to have their own children via artificial insemination (accepting that asexual human reproduction is currently impossible) - this novelty allows to avoid the unpleasant process of systematic copulation.

There are no or few 'absolute' asexuals. The asexual community is all about tolerance, acknowledgment that everyone is unique and welcome if they don't find into either of the sexual communities for some reason.

E.g. it's possible to experience all other types of attraction (aesthetic, platonic, romantic, sensual), possibly different types to different genders, masturbate and even have sex but still be asexual - sex in this case is agreed upon as a compromise in relationships with a romantic or queerplatonic partner, but doesn't bring pleasure and isn't desired.

Even if they succeeded at making me cum, the key difference is that I'd try to pull out and stay alone with my hand if possible, and report abuse if they forced me to cum into them. (Corrective rape is, btw, asexuals' significant problem.)

Never ever bother to dissuade anyone from proclaiming themselves asexual. They will just ignore you, as the community is so much used to sexuals' misunderstanding anyway (and hence self-contained).

Pleasure and desire are not really objective enough to involve in the discussion. Do you not find aesthetic value pleasurable? Platonic value pleasurable? Masturbation pleasurable? Why not abstain if it brings no pleasure? For health reasons? Sex is a huge term, where is your definition agreed upon? I may not believe that something is pleasure but that does not mean that it isn't in a physiological sense (reward pathways are stimulated (even in rape)). Some people find pain pleasurable afterall. We are getting into semantic issues, and semantic twisting kind of infers the cog diss strategy.


headassplode.

I'm beginning to understand though - seems like an exercise of trial and error for me in doing so however. So the word asexual means to you that you make a conscious decision to deliberately oppose against intimate/affectionate relationships and also 'argue' with your physiology. I have certainly had asexual episodes - mostly at times when I feel significant pressure to avert my energies into more important pursuits which ultimately had the end goal of getting more sex with women, you seem to define yourself definitively, do you think that one day you may change? Is it not the same process as a moral belief system? I'm just trying to work out if you are physically asexual or psychologically asexual. i.e you do not get aroused by stimulus opposed to you hate getting aroused by stimulus and have negatively reinfocred yourself - or cog diss'd yourself into avoiding those cognitive/physiological/actual behaviors.

Are you saying that asexuals share a uniform causation of asexuality and it is permanent? You are almost correct in stating that sexuals misunderstand, but I am of the opinion that the sexualities exist ona spectrum. I am certainly 'asexual' temporarily just after sex. I am asexual when I am starving or dehydrated or anxious about something impending. I have been asexual at times when women have really pissed me off and I've rejected any sexual desire that enters my mind or body. So do I not gain insight from this?

Mutual masturbation, extreme polygamy, can be asexual? Is this 'asexual' about love or what?