This is going to be very long... Cliffs at bottom...

GF and I live in the garden apartment of brownstone. Our landlord lives upstairs. The very enticing part of the apartment offer was that we (GF and I) get a private backyard. This is a pretty big deal in a place like Jersey City. So in back of our apartment, right as you get outside, her deck overhangs our backyard. There's a staircase from her deck to our yard/backdoor, but it's basically blocked off by the deck. It's sort of hard to explain. Imagine there's a deck above you, and a staircase leading up to it, but the staircase ends as soon as it hits the deck. It's sort of strange.

Another thing you have to understand about the apartment is that it's sort of railroad style. There are no doors in the apartment. When you come in, you walk through the living room, then past the open kitchen, then into the bedroom, then into the den, then out the backdoor. There are also these weird window cutouts between each room. So basically, the whole apartment is WIDE OPEN unless we wanted to keep all the blinds tight all the time...

Anyway, we got the apartment on the notion that the backyard was ours, exclusively. After three weeks or so of living there, we woke up one Saturday morning and she was in the back gardening. This was a little invasive, we thought, but fine, because it was the first nice weekend of spring, and the whole garden was sort of overgrown. Since then, GF has kept the garden in order.

But then on Saturday, GF is in the backyard talking on the phone and I'm in the bathroom dropping a deuce. There are two shades on the bathroom window - one of those cheap, heavy pull-down shades, and a very light, semi-transparent-from-close-distance curtain. Usually we just have the light curtain drawn, because nobody can see in from neighboring yards.

So I'm reading on the toilet or whatever, and suddenly I hear this noise from outside. I turn to my left, and can see the landlord's head like a foot-and-a-half away, tinkering with the hose faucet. I lurch forward, ducking under the window. I kind of sit there like that for about a minute, hoping she'll leave, but she keeps tinkering. Eventually, I do some sort of ninja move and run out of the bathroom, pants around my ankles. (Note: at the time, I was in a state of panic and forgot about the pull-down, heavy blind.)

Talk to GF later and she says she was outside on the phone, and suddenly she turned around and the landlord was in the backyard - no warning, mention, etc.

Now let me express this: It's her house. I understand this. She deserves access to the backyard when she needs it. But is it out of line to request that she gives us some sort of warning when she needs to do something back there? Our apartment is very non-private as it is, and it's only made worse by the fact that we now have to anticipate whether someone will be roaming around the backyard or not...

Cliffs: GF and I rent apartment with private backyard. Landlord, who lives upstairs, enters backyard from time to time with no warning. Apartment is very non-private, and she almost saw me taking a dump last time. Is it too much to ask her to give us some notice when she has to use backyard?

going on cliff notes only , was it included in the lease that the backyard is your exclusive area? or that you your self have to give notification?
Generally i would say you are not with in your rights to ask her to notify you unless you are planning something then you should notify her. She should be respectful enough to say "Oh hey" but she doesn't need to be really.

I agree with you that she's not obliged, but I would think it's common courtesy...

There's nothing on the lease, I don't think. But she said it like 15 times. It's not like I'm going to take her to court, and we basically live in her home so I don't want to make things awkward. It's just very uncomfortable...

How does she get down to the backyard if the stairs are blocked off?

I think you misunderstood 'exclusive' to mean just you two and not all tenants.


Also, diagram of bathroom ninja move.

Landlord are almost always weird and annoying.

Mine comes over my place on a bi-weekly basis and digs through our garbage/recycling to see if she can find stuff for her antique stoor.

Oh yeah, and never interrupt your duece dropping. Big mistake imo

I think its pretty obvious that you are overreacting. Is she actually doing something wrong besides not giving you like written 24 hours notice? Oh no she is gardening call the cops!

Nope - the backyard is definitely only ours. She's the only other person in the building with access, and these were the only other times I've seen her back there. She gets access through a gate in the fence (fence is about 8 feet high).

You seem to be one the most overreactive people on this forum, so lol.

I haven't reacted, so how am I overreacting? I don't want 24-hour notice, but would it be such a big deal for her to come down and say: "Just to let you know, I'll be out in the backyard doing some gardening later?"

I should also explain - it's not a big backyard. If she were all the way in the back of a huge yard watering plants, I wouldn't care. But it's like - if she's in the backyard, we have no privacy at all. She's RIGHT outside the window.

And 80% of our reason for getting this apartment over the others we looking at was for the PRIVATE backyard. It doesn't feel so private when someone else is back there doing the things you planned to do before you get a chance to.

The problem became clear when you used the word 'notion'.
Now that you have conflicting notions with your landlords you are basically screwed.

and instead of pulling the ninja bathroom move you could have opened the window and started chatting with her. That might have resulted in a lot more privacy henceforth.

Maybe you exhibitionists should use the blinds if you don't want to be seen.

Winner.

"Oh hai there! ... what? Oh nothing. Just poopin'."

Are there other problems with the landlord as well? Cause sounds like the occasional gardening in back shouldn't be a problem although I understand why you would prefer it all to yourself. One of the joys of renting...

How often are they using the backyard? I suppose you could always sit down with them and talk to them about it.

Overreacting You could press her on it and she may get pissed. No harm no foul

If she has only been back there twice, it doesn't seem like a big enough deal to bring it up with her. If it becomes a regular occurrence, maybe mention it.

What if she sits out on her deck. You say this is a small backyard. If she were to get out on the deck, it wouldn't be so private would it? It seems like the situation isn't set up for someone to have a super private backyard. I would say that you should have thought this one out a little before taking this apartment if its that big of a deal.

Also if she owns the property, and is gardening back there, or tinkering with the faucet, it sounds like you have a nice landlord that takes care of her property. This could be a much worse situation than it is.

I would say thank your blessings you have a backyard in an apartment in JC, and sack up a bit.

Her deck is on the second floor. When she's out there, which she rarely is, we don't really see her.

Again, it's not a huge deal, maybe it was just kind of weird because of the whole taking-a-**** aspect.

It's nothing that a moans, grunts, groans and well timed anal burps can't fix.

sounds like she's only going back there for maintenance stuff. this isn't likely to change. if having some sort of notice is really that important to you then I guess bring it up.

or there's always passive-aggressive solutions:
1) give her notice about any time you're going to be near her apartment. "hey I'm going to be flying a kite for the next 20 min or so that might come near your window. JUST WANTED TO BE NEIGHBORLY AND LET YOU KNOW."
2) get some Spy Gear(TM) motion sensor alarms and set them up in the backyard.

I dunno, I agree with OP. As far as I know it's illegal for landlords to enter a tenant's apartment without notice. If OP was renting a single room, she couldn't just barge in. If he was renting a house, she couldn't just barge in. If he was renting a garage, she couldn't just barge in. Just because it's open air doesn't seem like it should really matter. He's renting it, it's part of his rental space, she should have to get permission.

Of course, if it's unclear whether that's really part of his rental, it's one thing, and no matter what it's probably not a big enough deal or worth it to confront her. But I would be pretty peeved about it as well.

this is smart

this is probably the law in your state

this is genius

in los angeles, "oral agreements" are actually accepted in court (of course, you need some sort of corroboration). i doubt this is true many other places. you should have gotten it in writing.

this old woman lives in her house with her garden and forgot/didn't realize how often she uses it. you're gonna have to talk to her.