this is sad...sounds like yall need a vacation.

Smooooth.

she's cheating on you ldo

[x] i didn't see what you did there?

as others have said, stand when you pee.

also, I'm sure you do a million things that your wife finds gross. accept her and don't try and change her.

I think it's because, as determined in a Lounge thread I 'give good dick'. I got another one for you. Why do you hate movies? I can understand not liking a genre of film, what I don't get is not liking any movie. In 4.5 months, we have never been to the theater once, and of the countless movies we've watched you've only stayed awake once (and that was because we had just slept like 10 hours). Yet you always ask if I want to watch a movie. Why not just ask if you can lay your head in my lap and take a nap because that's what will inevitably happen.

I understand that you have ADD, but do you have to be a needy bitch?

Should I stand when I take a **** too?

Well no ****ing joke, but it wasn't a thread titled Things You Do, That Your Significant Other Finds Annoying/Gross now was it. And also for the last time, I am not married. I am not even dating the girl anymore, we are in some weird quasi-relationship/**** like bunnies stage.

On second thoughts, this part of your post was so completely dumb it kind of boggles my brain. Especially coming on the heels of your 'OMG why won't my girl just accept I have ADD' thread.

Yeah I walk out on the girl that instant.


So there are people worse than I am at talking to women.

I hate when she survives the erotic asphyxiation

WORLDS COLLIDING!!!

Normal person who doesn't want to listen to the radio that's on in the bathroom: turns radio off.
My wife when she doesn't want to listen to the radio that's on in the bathroom: turns volume down to zero.

So then when I stumble in for my shower the next day, I press the power button on the radio. Nothing happens because I've just turned the radio off. Then I have to turn it back on AND turn the volume all the way back up.

Gah.

your wife frequents porn shops? sweet.

Well, she tries to, but she always gets lost ends up buying a new pair of shoes instead

My wife's driving bugs me. She is always driving like a bat out of hell. 85-90 down the freeway. Until a car appears in front of her doing like 50. Then she just stays behind them and complains about how slow they are driving. As opposed to just passing them...

Starts a fight once every 28 days or so.

ha!

oh i will for sure, i'll have to wait till she leaves for work in a couple hours though. also wtf does 4l mean?

BBV4Life, I think.

yeah... i probly need to kick a few habits if i cant figure something like that out

she's getting ready, i've got ATLEAST 87 hours to complete this post without risk of ruin.

i'll back up to the first convo about the dogs:

me: hi doll you on ur way?
-yup! can i bring my dogs i want scoot(my dog) to meet them
me- sure i love dogs, they dont piss/****/chew/bark/get on my nerves do they?
-nope they are perfect (seriously, she said perfect)


how do i know when she gets here? the door bell rings? she knocks? **** NO the goddamn dogs are raising hell all over my front door, which is an INSTA ass whoopin around my house. i swing the ****in door open and unleash mild profanities towards the dogs (one of which is deaf). she looks at me with a blank stare of WTF? what are you lookin at me like that for? you just let your dogs jump all over the goddamn place? MORE BLANK LOOK. then NO LESS THAN TWO NANO ****ING SECONDS LATER they take a step inside and PISS ALL OVER THE PLACE when they see my dog. "oh honey i'll clean it up she just got excited". ok i know puppies pee when they get excited so i ask.. "how old is she", "7", SEVEN!!?!? HOLY BALLS get this ****** dog outside now, and the other one too, guilty by association.

i slide the back glass door open to release them. first dog runs around corner and proceeds to immediatly raise immortal hell at passing cars/trees/the wind/or whatever. the other proceeds to go around opposite corner of house to dig 12 holes(all in the time it took me to get the first one back in) in order to find the PERFECT rock to eat and throw up in my bed later that night.

me-"goddamnit come get these rejects now please!!!"
-what you want me to do?, i never keep them outside.
me- well they cant stay inside pissing all over the place and treating everything like a trampoline. i will will tie them up with a lease in the middle of the back yard for the ENTIRE time they are here.
her- NO WAY
-yes way
-NO WAY
-ok, i have a muzzle and a shock collar
her-if i catch either of those on them i will ****in lose it!
me-ok well take them home they cant stay here cause they are ****ing my **** all up
her-just give them a chance!!

ok i did, they failed, they wont listen to ****, they have no idea how to act they are gone!! i pay the rent here and i got a 1500$ deposit on the line, everything goes through me here. im the president, im the emperor, im the ****ing king. now get these ****ing muts out! now!

her- ok but im not coming back
me (thinkin to myself... **** that cant get laid that way) guess i'll have to put up with these ****ing things for atleast one night



[x] worth the sacrifice
[x] love the girl anyway

Turn the lights out when I'm talking on the phone in the bedroom; because, I don't need to see for that activity.

FWIW, she does turn out the lights when on the phone herself.

You are the chick.

My girlfriend and I will decide that we are going to go to the diner on a Sunday morning. I am lying on the couch watching sportscenter in sweatpants because I just woke up. She will go into the bedroom and come out 10 minutes later totally dressed and ask, "Are you ready to go?" That annoys me to no end.

And

She spits...

Leaves clothes and stuff like purses and keys in the middle of the room even though there are shelves in any of the 4 cardinal directions. Also, she leaves draws open. This is fine normally, except that I live in a tiny studio so walking in the dark after coming home involves a cosmo kramer'esce like waltz entrance before I inevitably knock my self out on random furniture and ends with me impaling myself on her strategically placed keys.