Any time my SO says something about Friday or sometimes even Saturday, I start singing Rebeca Black.

me too, except my order is "wallet phone keys"

also whenever i'm in a crowded area, most often new york, i'll constantly tap my pockets to confirm my **** is still in there and i haven't been robbed

but i originally opened this thread for this one: i have sort of dubbed it "the pronoun joke" and it's very simple, here's an example:

me: all right, i have to go do my homework
other: yeah, me too
me: you have to go do my homework?! [then usually some stupid comment logically progressing from the misinterpretation, in this example something like "wow thanks man that's really nice of you" or w/e]

it's very simple and very stupid, but it comes up pretty much daily in conversation, and i can't not make this stupid joke to save my ****ing life.

i ****ing hate how much i ****ing say "thats what she said" now.

and i actually remember that joke from waynes world, not the office, so its doubly annoying that i knew it for 15 years but just in the last 3 or so i've said it all the ****ing time

you need to switch it up to she said that iyam.

Arrgh, this.

And if they haven't pushed any for me I'll always push in "diet" first (that's what I always drink).

"1-8-7-7 Cars for kids, K-A-R-S cars for kids..."

kfwb news 98 all news all the time this is kfwb news 98, you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you the world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpsxZidpXvM

larry parker got me 2.1 million

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMnVmT8bRSE

if you wanna buy a truck go see cal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOsLdT4slsk

Things mentioned ITT thread that I do as well:

1) Parking/Emergency brake set all the time
2) Feb-'r'u-ary (probably a mnemonic habit from when I was learning to spell that I've never shaken over the years)
3) Set alarm to a non 0/5 ending digit

Surprised that this hasn't been mentioned by anyone:

1) Sort cash in wallet by denomination/serial number

Sorting by denomination is pretty standard I would think. There's a practical reason for it, helps to prevent including a 20 by mistake when you're counting out singles, and so forth. I also like to make sure all the bills are oriented the same way, which is a little weird. Sorting by serial number is completely nuts, and therefore post-worthy.

Passenger in a car.. if it's raining I can't not watch the windshield wipers to see if they come down between telephone poles, 10th mile markers etc...

I don't know anybody else who does this but I could never figure out if you floss before you brush or after you brush, so I always brush, floss, brush just to be safe.

I was shocked to find out in some other thread that people don't wash their jeans after every use. Granted I wear whatever my wife buys me at JCPenny.

This last one is AWFUL for me. But it's just one of those things that I don't even realize I'm doing it until I read it back.

I hire a lot of virtual assistants from the Philippines and India. While talking/chatting with them I "dumb down" myself to around their speaking level.

You bad man.

Whenever anyone says the word theory I can't help but say 'my theory' in a stupidly annoying fake shrill woman's voice, at least in my head. Because of this

My theory by Anne Elk (Miss)

Wow i thought i was the only one

I've evolved to "she said that" which is obviously superior.

+1 to this too. I wonder if it's a videogame generation kinda thing.

Omg this. It's just burned into my head.

Finally, someone who understands.

Standard

I do this too, and 99% of the time its not too hot to touch. Hell id say close to half the time its barely even warm.

I once called a waiter a pussy (I was drunk) when he brought out my foot holding the plate with a hotpad and then told me to be careful cuz it was hot. I was thinking "holy crap, hes using a hot pad, this ****er must actually be really hot!" I insta touched it and was immediately disappointed by how not hot it was.

keys wallet phone is the mantra that goes through my head as well for going, pretty much anywhere. I figure if I have those three things, no matter what else I'm missing, I'm set.

Whenever I see a Toronto Maple Leafs hockey Jersey I can't not start laughing.

I rip hairs out of my eyebrows and pull whiskers from my goatee if they feel too long/jagged compared to those around them.

Wow that sounds even weirder now that I've admitted it.

Heh, I do this sometimes. But I've perfected the method of verifying my wallet without looking like a paranoid pussy. While walking you turn your shoulders/hips slightly left (like say you are reading a sign on a wall). Your hips turn just enough but you let your right arm swing back and you graze your rear back pocket with the side of your right hand and nobody can tell a thing. Keeping from projecting public fear/concern over your wallet seems to be more important than the actual verification that it is still there.

Tim Kurkjian was the worst (prob. still is but I don't watch ESPN anymore) at this. "Doug Lodewyck is the first ballplayer whose last name ends in 4 consonants to hit a walk-off double after a 90+ minute rain delay since 1954, when Dill Brarshk doubled off Gil Brantley, who, coincidentally, was born just 100 miles from the town in which Doug Lodewyck's sister's murderer was born."

I tap front right (keys), front left (phone) back right (wallet) and do it quickly with the same amount of time between "beats".

I used to work at a grocery store and people would often leave their keys on the counter, then walk back in 2 minutes later to retrieve them. Every single time this happened they would say "Well - I guess I wasn't gonna get too far without them! HAHAHAHAAHAA"

I do this while driving, I've altered my speed to facilitate this.

Eyebrows at least is standard for me, but I get some long ****ers growing in there sometimes. Like ones that I can pull down and reach my nose with. And I'm not even a particularly hairy/unibrow kind of guy.