I'll give you a big tip: don't quit the day job!

.

Various school districts in the KC metro announced last week they would cancel school on Wednesday if there's a parade giving parents plenty of time to prepare.

Ours sent out the email within minutes of the game ending so they clearly decided on that last week but kept it a "surprise" or whatever. Last year they announced the cancelation the week before so I was under the impression they wouldn't cancel this year because they already had a bunch of snow days (that aren't being made up) and frankly it's not the same if you win a title every 30 years or 3 times in 5 years. Long story short, I have to find and pay for childcare last minute now.

Reason why it shouldn't piss me off is that it's obvious a good thing that they can host another parade.

People writing/saying "if ... was" instead of the proper "if ... were".

Nobody gets that right, but isn't that like literally the only place where the verb case changes for the subjunctive in English? I can forgive people for ****ing it up.

what if it was were?

North of Jupiter Florida alot of people say "Acrossed"

as in...

"He used to live acrossed the street from the strip club"

Guys at Super Bowl parties who laugh at the commercials

Tony Romo telling us how the players feel before the Super Bowl...

Yep. How in hell would he know? I guess because someone who actually played in one told him how they felt?

"I wish ... were" also.

Tony Romo's half life trajectory as announcer seems to have gotten much closer to zero than I would have projected.

He's under contract until 2030 or 2031.

is that anywhere close to kitty corner?
because that kitty is a bitch and you don't wanna be anywhere near her litter box

You mean letter box.

there's entire regions of the usa where they don't know what kitty corner means

That's because it's catty corner there.

Is "whole nuther" regional? I suspect it's a midwest thing but for people hearing it for the first time I can't imagine they would understand it.

players on opposite teams who trade jerseys at the end of a sporting event and get a picture

Southerners speak it fluently.

a few living humans were entertained by this times dialect quiz from a decade ago
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/...-quiz-map.html
hypothetical question 23 just for ye who go off on a tangent and forget to sign or co-sign on the dotted line just to find yourself another square angling to be the opposite of right while tying your own noose

The UK has dozens of different and recognisable accents as well as many separate and distinct dialects

I remember many years ago while at college, watching some morning chat show while hungover. There was a guy in the studio who was taking calls from viewers where we could accurately predict both where they originated from and where they lived to within 10 miles

I always get a kick out of hearing non-rhotic speakers pronounce "lawyer" or "drawer", esp with the next word leading with a vowel.

IRT UK accents the Beatles' was quite cool IMO. It seems Liverpool has moved on to non-rhotic, and the closest anybody speaks that way now is from N Ire (Rory McIlroy seems a decent example).

Northern Irish and Scouse (Liverpool) are totally different.

Beatles accent was far less accentuated than current Scouse accent because fashion/trends were far more towards getting everyone to ‘Queen’s English’ than today.