Been a while since I've come around these parts, but TSPYO.

spouse has some shoulder problems which strong therapeutic massage seems to help, but it tends to leave bruising on her upper arms

she goes in for the annual mammogram and nurse nice notices purple biceps

spouse tells them it's from a massage she had yesterday afternoon but they insist upon recording it on her medical chart

ruh roh

I hope you have your lawyer's # on speed dial. And committed to memory in case they won't let you use your own phone from the jail.

I see you are rehearsing your story for the police. I recommend the below instead -

I am exercising my rights as enumerated by the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Ninth and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution. I demand to have my attorney present prior to and throughout any questioning. Additionally, I request to call my attorney right now for a private legal consultation.

the implications are crazy, aren't they?
but a big part of me is happy there is some sort of system looking out for such things.

Tennis

would you have another opinion if the scoring system was different?

If they had stuck with 15-30-45, at least you could sort of make sense out of it.

But somehow, in the 16th century, 45 became 40. What the hell?

Sorry, wrong thread. This definitely belongs in the should piss you off category.

In 3rd grade, I caught some tennis matches on TV and was trying to learn it just from context of jumping in cold. When they repeatedly referred to zero as love, I decided that it surely had to be "lub," because why the **** would it be "love"?

So one day, in the way that elementary schoolers (and perhaps even people who are past elementary school) do, I indulged a convo in which I pretended to know what the hell I was talking about with regard to tennis. And in discussing how a game went down, I said "lub." Friend corrects me and says, "Love." I immediately insist, "That's what I said!" Friend buys it, says, "Ohh, I thought you said lub! I lub you."

At this point, I executed one of the rare indiscretions of my life: I courtesy-laughed at his joke. I was so relieved that my stupidity could be wriggled out of with a simply and straightforward lie that I figured that this wasn't the time to withhold the courtesy laugh. This is not something that I do. I do not sell out like that. And yet, here I did.

Power rankings of the dishonorable things I did in this story:
1. Courtesy laugh
2. I don't know
3. I don't know
4. Brazen lie to a friend to save face

Don't worry buddy, I'll put some money on your books.

A real friend would break out REDeYes00 from the joint.






That being said, Prison Break S1 was fantastic television.

Noone would be able to decipher the escape plan he wrote.

real friends make escape plans via PM and don't share them with others.

The breakout shouldn't be a problem. Just crab-walk out of there like that little commie piss-ant did in PA

The word Vodcast. **** that ****!

now I’m pissed off too

what if i told you sorting the past five months of my posts into sequential order then reading every other one of them out loud would reveal something about my escape you didn't otherwise know before?

I would say relying on us to decipher may be asking too much.

Try to make good use of your time in the big house. And keep your hands to yourself.

If they require you to do that, it will be considered cruel and unusual punishment by any court in the land and you will be summarily released.

the summarily release window is over, it's autumn now

When people brag about "cutting the cord" and all they did was switch from cable TV to an online provider of cable TV

Than the Classic Rock Workout channel on SiriusXM should be renamed the "Bang a Gong" channel because they play it so often. Not the original, but the Power Station version

circus peanuts

finding out that circus peanuts actually still exist so they can piss people off