(slight Sopranos spoilers below)

I've been watching a lot of Sopranos lately. I enjoy watching the constant power grab game that the crew members take part of. There are a lot of members who believe they can take the boss's chair but I think only 2-3 characters are truly competent enough. Everyone else would be way in over their heads. Which got me thinking, how can I make sure I don't overestimate my abilities without selling myself short?

Sal is my favorite character in the show. Mostly because he is so complacent of where he stands in this world. He knows his strengths and his weaknesses. He doesn't aspire to be the boss even though he's more qualified than anyone else. He understands that he plays the role of the adviser's much better than the boss's. He is the perfect example of someone who has reached his maximum potential without selling himself short.

So how do I avoid being like all the rest of the characters who strive to become the boss when it's clear that they don't have the abilities to do so? I guess I can always aim low, but I don't want to sell myself short either. I believe our reality is heavily based on our beliefs. Our beliefs funnel the reality we create for ourselves - yet there's a shared reality we have to take consideration of. I'm thinking meditation is the answer as it shed away false beliefs about myself and show a clear reflection of who I am and where I stand. Experiences with unbiased reflection would probably help a lot as well.

Aim for the middle.

"If you can dream it, you can do it." - Walt Disney

Listen to your mother, kids. Aim low. Aim so low that no one will even care if you succeed. -Marge Simpson

The guys in the Sopranos weren't internet savvy. They lacked the kind of brutally honest advice you get from OOT. Keep posting here and you have nothing to fear in your future mob boss aspirations OP.

Some of the maddest people I know meditate. And say things a lot like what I just quoted.

Empirical evidence is the great leveler. Think you can do something? Prove it by doing something easier. If you think you could be a mob boss/drug lord, but can't pick up a girl in two minutes, or pick a fight with someone dangerous and then talk your way out of it, then you probably don't have the people skills.

"Unbiased reflection" does not exist.

this kind of outlook on life is going to several limit your potential. Just because you're not naturally good at something doesn't mean you can get better at it by practicing. talent is overrated when it comes to the mean population. there's a guy I play a lot of card games with. he is naturally good with logic and card games. he would crush me at any new game we play. but i would crush him in HU SnGs and cash games because i've spent a lot of time with different calculators to fine-tune a lot of spots while he's just been crushing mixed games.

however, i also can't become an NBA play by repeatedly watching fundamental videos and playing pick-up games - even if i do this 15 years.
what i'm afraid of is falling under that type of delusion in my career path, whatever it might be. i'm want to become a script writer but as you can tell from my posts, writing doesn't come natural to me and i need to make an effort (tons of editing and re-editing). i enjoy it though, but i also don't want to be 40 without having produced anything meaningful because i just don't have the natural chops to make it.

i guess if you're naturally good at something and work hard, you'll be at the top. for the rest of us, we just need to work hard on what we like and we'll be above average.

which one is Sal? the guy who dressed in bondage gear with the pool stick up his bum?

Big Puss was Sal

Just like in the real world, mob bosses can spot the talented underlings in their crew - the smarter ones, tougher ones, the guys that make them the most money. They get better assignments, help, gifts and opportunities to earn. They probably succeed with woman more often also.

If you are not getting this kind of feedback from your group/crew/industry/boss, you are not ready to move up.

The way you know you're ready to play in the NBA is they draft you and/or sign you to a contract. The way you know you're ready to manage $2bn in fixed income is they hire you to do so, or people ask you if you want to run your own shop so they can give you $$$. Etc.

Sal more qualified to be the boss than anyone else, OP says

How do you come to a conclusion like that

Don't dream it, be it.

It seems you don't have the best judgement of who is the most qualified to be boss. Sal is a snitch and gets whacked.

That's easily solved. Set an ever increasing bar of competence with a deadline on it. Not only will this stop you wasting time if you don't have the talent, it'll force you to push yourself. Pushing headfirst into your unseen weaknesses is the best way to find your feet and talents. As H.G. Wells said:

It is a law of nature we overlook, that intellectual versatility is the compensation for change, danger, and trouble. An animal perfectly in harmony with its environment is a perfect mechanism. Nature never appeals to intelligence until habit and instinct are useless. There is no intelligence where there is no change and no need of change. Only those animals partake of intelligence that have to meet a huge variety of needs and dangers.

To get better in areas where you lack talent, you need to expose yourself to this, both artificially (make up your own challenges frequently) and naturally (expose yourself to actual outside competition, evaluation and rejection). The main thing is artificial stimulation. Natural stimulation is there to keep it real and focused. But the world is very slow and boring compared to thought and imagination, so frequent artificial challenge is what hones intelligence most rapidly.

If I wanted to become a scriptwriter (something I don't give a crap about), I would be doing the following regularly:

Artificial challenges:

- Read all varieties of books regularly
- Challenge myself at random to express particular passages better than the author. With a deadline (say 5 minutes)
- Write down all words I don't know from these books and learn them. Test myself on them.
- Write short essays about what happening in the book, how the author has done the exposition, etc
- Write a creative short story of a set length each week about a randomly selected topic.
- Keep a diary and try make the mundane events as interesting and philosophically sophisticated as possible.
- Write a short story that must include a set of unlikely/new words.
- Set a time limit on your daily writing. This will force you to get faster and more agile.
- Millions of other ideas.

Natural challenges:

- Submit several short stories to writing competitions each year. Demand better results of myself each year, or quit.
- Get my friends to read and grade what I write. Demand improvement in grading over time, or quit.
- Promise to submit a screenplay within three years to studios/agents.
- Do this each year. If the third one is rejected, quit.

Setting an absolute bar is important. For one, it focuses the death of your dreams (a huge emotional force) on each stumbling block (a small thing), giving you the intellectual energy to improve. For two, it means you'll never be that idiot who can't cut it but still trying at 40.

I don't think Sal is who you think he is.

He meant the consigliere

Regardless, just try and be objective as possible

I know Sal is the consigliere but he's not a snitch.

Sil?

Thats the one!

No
You are wrong

Regardless
Just be as objective and honest with urself as possible
Criticize yourself and analyze yourself constantly

Sil ≠ Sal Bonpensiero = Big Pussy ≠ Little Pussy = MALANGA ≠ Junior's Nephew = Tony Soprano

He's clearly meaning Silvio, not Sal aka Big Pussy. Now, onwards with the thread.

My bad.

Awesome post. Thanks for the advice. Will think about making small achievable goals that are in-line with the big picture.

And I definitely meant Sil, not Sal. Sorry for the confusion.