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To soon to meet the family???? To soon to meet the family????

11-20-2007 , 03:35 AM
Meeting her parents and immediate family is way different from meeting her extended family at thanksgiving. I would never go to a thanksgiving (assuming there will be ~30 people there) unless I had been dating a girl at least a few months. In your situation I would readily meet her immediate family.
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11-20-2007 , 04:58 AM
ok, i'm gonna be blunt...but you are dumb. you have NO idea how lucky you are to have a GF, seriously dude- that close w/the last 2 exs and she is cool. Do whatever she wants. From now on. she is a rare find. ASK her what she wants re: coming to the dinner. Say you're cool either way. i so would not date you. i like appreciation. and sorry but i think you are gay.
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11-20-2007 , 08:40 AM
The last girl I dated wanted me to meet her family on date 2. Yeah, that didn't happen.
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11-20-2007 , 03:40 PM
Quote:
ok, i'm gonna be blunt...but you are dumb. you have NO idea how lucky you are to have a GF, seriously dude- that close w/the last 2 exs and she is cool. Do whatever she wants. From now on. she is a rare find. ASK her what she wants re: coming to the dinner. Say you're cool either way. i so would not date you. i like appreciation. and sorry but i think you are gay.
You're correct... I'm going.
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11-20-2007 , 03:51 PM
Quote:
Quote:
ok, i'm gonna be blunt...but you are dumb. you have NO idea how lucky you are to have a GF, seriously dude- that close w/the last 2 exs and she is cool. Do whatever she wants. From now on. she is a rare find. ASK her what she wants re: coming to the dinner. Say you're cool either way. i so would not date you. i like appreciation. and sorry but i think you are gay.
You're correct... I'm going.
Let us know how it goes. Hopefully it's booze/football!
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11-20-2007 , 03:53 PM
Even saying "you're correct...I'm going" I still can't help but think this whole thing is ******ed.

Her family understands that you aren't exactly married yet and have only been dating a few weeks. What's the big deal.
And why on earth are so many people saying, "this is bad. you need to find a way to get out of this"??

This is all really weird.

People have been known to invite acquaintances from work or other random people over for thanksgiving.
I've been invited to different thanksgivings before by people I really didn't know that well.

I also don't see what's so big a deal about meeting the parents early as opposed to late. So freaking what.
It's not like the 4 of you are taking a 6-day vacation together to some cabin after only having dated for 2 weeks. Now that would be kind of weird.

But just meeting them or having dinner is no big deal. People are supposed to be somewhat social and sort of nice.

When me and my GF started dating it was just a few days before her birthday.
So on her BDay she said I was welcome to join her and her Mom and brother at some steak restaurant. I asked if that was awkward or anything because we had only been dating a week. "Meh, no big deal. They know we've only seen each other a couple times. But I kind of have to have dinner with them that night and then you and I can go to a movie or something afterwards."
No pressure really. Just be a normal person. Does it somehow mean there is more pressure on me if I later decide I want to break-up with her just because I have now met some of her relatives?

Some of the comments in this thread about how important it is for him to get out of going to dinner really blew me away. If it's a larger gathering than just find the most senile and weird in the whole bunch and strike up a conversation with them for kicks.
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11-20-2007 , 03:58 PM
Are her parents in the same town? If so, anyone with a modicum of hospitality would invite you to dinner in this case. It isn't ever too soon to be hospitable on the holidays. Definitely go unless her mom can't cook or something. Who doesn't like Thanksgiving?

If her parents are out of town and you are being invited to travel for a few days, then its more like you think.
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11-20-2007 , 04:11 PM
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Last week she mentions that she was talking to her mom and somehow I got invited to Thanksgiving.
Somehow you got invited??? You got invited because her family aren't total douchebags. They heard that your family wasn't going to be around and invited you. Why is this a big deal at all???

This thread is two weird. To many people are two freaked out at meeting her family.
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11-20-2007 , 04:16 PM
Something I think everybody has missed out on and is important is that in going to a family function such as this you are able to see her and her family under a microscope. So any under lying mental craziness that she has been able conceal when it is just you and her is definitely going to come to the surface at an event such as this. Nobody can hide their true selves when they are with their family. There is such a history there that any trait that is possessed by your girlfriend or by her family, whether good or bad, will definitely come out. This will give you a good indication of whether or not you can deal with her little quirks or whether they drive you nuts. Either way, it is better to know now about any issues - personal or family wise- that you can't handle.

Also, you may find out that this girl and her family are awesome.
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11-20-2007 , 04:22 PM
Yeah.

I met my fiancee's family (and she met mine) around the same time in our relationship (1 1/2-2 months in), and both discovered that we got along really well with each other's families.

There are numerous positive outcomes that can come from this. Beyond just having a good Thanksgiving meal as opposed to not having one since your folks aren't even around.

Just do it, obv.
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11-20-2007 , 04:36 PM
ZOMG!!!!1!1!! You have to meet her family?!?!

LOL, relax duder. Sure, it might be a little awkward at first. But as long as you're friendly, interested, polite, and social, everything will be fine and you'll have a good time.
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11-20-2007 , 04:58 PM
I wouldn't consider it a big deal to go to this function even if I wasn't that serious about the girl and didn't think we had any future relationship potential.
It's just a dinner....and a Thanksgiving one at that. So what.
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11-20-2007 , 05:55 PM
Dude, just go...at least you'll find out early if her family is crazy or not. Try to have a good time.
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11-20-2007 , 06:03 PM
free food. possible free booze and football.

sounds horrible. stay home alone and call her
during dinner to complain how lonely and stupid you feel.
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11-20-2007 , 06:53 PM
could be worse
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11-20-2007 , 06:56 PM
Yeah, this is only a big deal if you are in a sitcom or a bad movie.
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11-20-2007 , 06:58 PM
Tell them you play a little poker, and clean out her Dad after the football games. +EV but -p***y
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11-20-2007 , 08:05 PM
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Totally overanalyzing imo.

I would agree that it depends on her family. Heck, my family invites ANYONE that doesn't have a place/friends/family to be with on Thanksgiving day. Surely a guy that a girl (sister, niece, cousin, etc) is dating is totally invitable if the guy down the street that was met in the sports bar 2 days before is.


T
agree.... way over analyzing. You people read life like a book and there is correct ways and incorrect ways of doing it. Maybe you will go and all the things you think is wrong with the girl will be reinforced by her "too drunk" brother who is cool w/ you... Maybe you have a great time and and fall apart from the girl 4 months later... really who cares?

Either way you are going. A month and half dam you should take this chanche to find out if you really like the girl/fam, sometimes the two are closely tied together this oppratunity will tell you that.... or move on.
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11-20-2007 , 08:48 PM
Sounds like you are not that into this girl, and want to get back with your ex gf's. If you say no to her invitation, she should dump you.
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11-20-2007 , 10:24 PM
Go and have fun. YGOS?
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11-20-2007 , 10:39 PM
It's a meal not a life commitment. Go,have fun, don't get too drunk. Watch some football. If it works out with this girl in the medium term, you'll be past one hurdle: meeting her family. If it doesn't work out, it cost you nothing. In fact home cooking and company for an afternoon.
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11-23-2007 , 08:34 PM
EXCELLENT TRIP.

Family loved me... food was good... actually stayed at a near by hotel on Wednesday night and had some awesome alone time with the new girl
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11-23-2007 , 08:36 PM
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EXCELLENT TRIP.

Family loved me... food was good... actually stayed at a near by hotel on Wednesday night and had some awesome alone time with the new girl
Good to hear it!
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