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Skyfall (New James Bond) Skyfall (New James Bond)

11-19-2012 , 02:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wholecut
really enjoyed this movie, but of course the plot is fairly lol complicated in classic Bond style. this is exactly what Austin Powers mocked.


Silva walking into the meeting with guns blaring as his coup de grace, after the years of planning it took for his escape / capture, makes my head spin
Also why did he have to be captured and then escape? Why didn't he just go to the meeting from his island lair?
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11-19-2012 , 02:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by timeforheroes
Also why did he have to be captured and then escape? Why didn't he just go to the meeting from his island lair?
b/c then he wouldn't have been able to drop the train on Bond's head obv.
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11-23-2012 , 07:33 AM
I think the movie is just awful. In fact I get angry when others do like it.

If Skyfall were a smartphone you could see a sexy looking os and lots of apps with great icons, but once you wanna start an app it probably fails to start cause nobody cared for the content.

I hate it so much, I was wondering if people shouldn't be allowed to file a scam report. It's an insult to intelligence, cause this story is so badly scripted and makes no sense at all.
It's so stupid that I am convinced the script was written by a chimp - who clearly took some meth even Heisenberg can't cook.

Spoiler:

The storyline that matters is former 00-agent tries to kill M and everything else is just detour with any logic eliminated. Main criterion was obviously that it looks good and exciting, but I get confused when nothing makes sense. It's not like this is a one time thing. The whole movie is so confusing that it wants to make you cry and laugh out loud at the same time.

Already in the beginning during the chase I started to wonder if Bond must be mentally ******ed. I wondered, cause he entered the cabine of the painfully slow cat(? or excavator) and now is an easy kill for the other guy. He clearly deserved to die in this scene. However, somehow he dodged all but one bullet that totally destroyed his cabine from like 5m distance. Not enough, he get's hit by some semi-sniper and falls down overhead, not even showing some signs of being alive, at least 150m down into a river.

What came afterwards is even more embarrasing. The bad guy entering the skyscraper, killing some guards, cutting the window and sniping some asian guy in an adjascent building's appartment that is full of accomplices. Really? Is that easier than to murder that guy in the appartment?

The whole former 00-agent lives on abandoned island thing then is explained by simply saying there was an chemical accident? So nobody ever checked the island again? kkthx

The encoded hard drive with secret data was decoded? Uhm okay, very likely, assuming it has been encoded by an amateur..

Q can decode Silva's (aka world's best hacker) computer? kk, Silva must be 1337-haxx0r fo sho. Also 1337-haxx0rs use passwords like 'granborough'. Hacking apparently is also very graphic intensive and hacked computers always display skulls on the screen.

Evil geniuses apparently also develop genius plans like:

1. Enter high security building with 2 accomplices and 1 pistol for each, shoot everyone including M
2. ???
3. Live happily ever after

By the way, what do you do when trying to escape from someone in the dark?
Spoiler:
You take a flashlight with you so you can watch your steps.


This movie is just full of brain dead morons. Whoever wrote that plot should never ever get a job as writer again.
I feel like this movie was not done with any passion at all and just done to make some quick bucks of a very easily satisfiable audience. Sadly Skyfail is so successful.
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11-23-2012 , 08:31 AM
Why did Bond decide to walk over the ice, while bad guys were smart enough to just go around?
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11-23-2012 , 09:21 PM
The hacking part was really really cringeworthy. I understand that nobody wants to see what it would have realistically looked like (a nerdy hacker staring at lines of text in a linux shell for hours on end) but whoever wrote that scene should be embarrassed.

At least an order of magnitude worse than the poker in Casino Royale.
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11-24-2012 , 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anzat
Saw this with a friend of mine, here is his review, which I largely agree with.

Spoiler:
There's something risible about the theme of senescence dominating a Bond film. It's almost worthless to bother pointing out that 007 is nothing if not an archetype of a certain kind of vigor and predictable resilience. Oddly enough in this, the 23rd Bond film, we don't have the familiar politically incorrect, unapologetic champion of womanizing, booze, gambling, killing, etc. Sam Mendes gives us a different Bond, a Bond with some depth but without enough gadgets and it's not quite satisfying.

The film is about Bond, M and MI6 trying to claw their way back to competency after some epic slip ups. To make matters worse they're all under siege from administrative efforts at modernization. To make matters far worse there's a rogue former agent (Javier Bardem) up to some naughtiness that threatens to push all the good people to their limits. What's also new here is a certain abortive realism and it's entirely unwelcome. For example, Bond has real substance/addiction issues but they're never dealt with, only swept under the rug so he can return to duty. For another example, the villain's sexual orientation is hastily (occasionally even in offensive stereotype) established as gay, but cui bono? Should we celebrate that our first Bondian homoeroticism involves a deeply troubled man living in loveless isolation? Is this a ***** in chauvinism or its extreme? The whole thing confuses me and smacks of some boardroom effort to court young audiences and I want it out of my genre films.

Skyfall is also something of a bricolage of biggish ideas that cohere extremely poorly. The biggest idea is that modern, non-state warfare has an ambiguous relationship to human hands: when they seem irrelevant perhaps they become most essential. The second biggest idea is that evil lurks close to good and even spawns from it (the Biblical undertones are nauseating). The third biggest idea is that elite members of MI6 have a cuddly Oedipal relationship to M and Country (please reply to this email if you've seen the film and don't think that Mother England and Mother M have psycho-sexual ties with the agents).

[Brief aside: Bardem can do no wrong as the villain here and the film is worth seeing just to spend time with his idiosyncratic Lecter-esque blend of madness and majesty]

There's definitely room in the world for an unconventional, non-agist progressive spy film but on the 50th anniversary of the greatest film franchise of all time we probably deserve slightly more swagger, less strained witticism, a higher body count, and more cool toys.
wtf is this ****? Your friend managed to make less sense than the movie he was reviewing, which is quite an accomplishment. Also I'm not sure if he's trying to desperately compensate for his pseudo-intellectual bull**** or he just creams himself at the thought of being soooooo ironic but I'm not buying the idea that this guy gives two ****s about the movie not having enough gadgets. If he's going to play the role of "insufferable douchebag hipster" he should stick to whining about the theme music by Adele being too mainstream for his tastes.
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11-24-2012 , 05:58 AM
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Originally Posted by d10
wtf is this ****? Your friend managed to make less sense than the movie he was reviewing, which is quite an accomplishment. Also I'm not sure if he's trying to desperately compensate for his pseudo-intellectual bull**** or he just creams himself at the thought of being soooooo ironic but I'm not buying the idea that this guy gives two ****s about the movie not having enough gadgets. If he's going to play the role of "insufferable douchebag hipster" he should stick to whining about the theme music by Adele being too mainstream for his tastes.
ahahahah Great review of the review. This guy's friend is trying SOOOO hard it hurts.
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11-24-2012 , 06:09 AM
review of the review is spot on
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11-24-2012 , 07:28 AM
Strange mix in the film. A complete mix of absolutely, outstandingly awesome scenes cobbled together in an horrible plot with a miserable, boring ending. WOAT and GOAT all in one.
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11-24-2012 , 10:56 AM
less strained witticism indeed
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11-24-2012 , 09:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReidLockhart
ahahahah Great review of the review. This guy's friend is trying SOOOO hard it hurts.
You do have to admit, though, the movie is dumbed down a lot. And he has a point about how stupid it was to plug in the rogue agent's laptop into the central network, let alone compiling an all-in-one inclusive list of every single undercover NATO agent. Why that's even necessary is beyond common sense.
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11-24-2012 , 09:43 PM
the whole 'list of our agents' thing was the plotline for Mission Impossible btw.
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11-24-2012 , 09:49 PM
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Originally Posted by General Tsao
the whole 'list of our agents' thing was the plotline for Mission Impossible btw.
And it was equally dumb.

Still, they're both fun to watch. You don't have to think too much about it, just go with it.
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11-29-2012 , 08:28 AM
Glad to see there's lots of hate for the movie in this thread.
Rotten tomatoes is 92%, it deserves around 40%.

- Ridiculous plot
- Big action scenes that make no sense
- Far too serious yet farcical events like
Spoiler:
MI6 building blowing up because hacker turned on the gas with his computer..lolwtfbbq
- Ham fisted sub plots
- The most boring characters in any action movie in history
- No sense of humor, fun or gadgets
- Endless boring politics
- And to give a final bird flip to the audience, a ridiculous "Home Alone" last third of the movie that I watched in disbelief.

Maybe they're setting up for Macaulay Culkin to be the new Bond? That would be cooler than this ****.

Anyone who actually liked this film I can safely ignore their opinion on pretty much any topic.
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11-29-2012 , 08:53 AM
After waiting a while to see the movie, I'm a bit frustrated by the people I talked to before the movie who said stuff like "not enough gadgets, not like the old Bond movies".

That was an excellent movie, it featured call-backs to numerous old Bond flicks, and frankly had ample toys and gadgets. I think people just look for a reason to hate. That was an excellent movie, and for me, that was the best Bond villain EVER.
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11-29-2012 , 09:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rafiki
After waiting a while to see the movie, I'm a bit frustrated by the people I talked to before the movie who said stuff like "not enough gadgets, not like the old Bond movies".
people who say that probably haven't seen Dr. No or From Russia With Love. the "gadgets" in those movies were things like "bug detectors" and "pagers". and they probably haven't seen CR or QOS which Q wasn't even in

after that it starts to get a little crazy
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11-29-2012 , 12:22 PM
I thought it was meh. There's something risible about the theme of senescence dominating a Bond film.

Last edited by dnh83; 11-29-2012 at 12:22 PM. Reason: ****, slow pony
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12-08-2012 , 10:08 PM
Hated it, the last half of the movie didn't feel very Bond at all, none of the characters were remotely interesting.

Seemed like a ridiculous production for one guy to try to get revenge on one chick, just really dreadful.

The first half was ok I guess.
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12-08-2012 , 10:29 PM
were you turned off by the theme of senescence that dominated the second part of the film?
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12-08-2012 , 11:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 0desmu1
were you turned off by the theme of senescence that dominated the second part of the film?
I was turned off by the fact that holding up in spooky old house felt more like a zombie movie than anything.

I'm still clueless as to why Bond thought that driving off to the middle of no where to face an entire militarized hit squad with him, an old woman, and a fat old caretaker was somehow their best play for coming out on top.
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12-09-2012 , 12:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyDodga
Strange mix in the film. A complete mix of absolutely, outstandingly awesome scenes cobbled together in an horrible plot with a miserable, boring ending. WOAT and GOAT all in one.
well said

Quote:
Originally Posted by rafiki
After waiting a while to see the movie, I'm a bit frustrated by the people I talked to before the movie who said stuff like "not enough gadgets, not like the old Bond movies".

That was an excellent movie, it featured call-backs to numerous old Bond flicks, and frankly had ample toys and gadgets. I think people just look for a reason to hate. That was an excellent movie, and for me, that was the best Bond villain EVER.

the problem wasn't the lack of gadgets per se, it was that the movie tried to straddle the line between new-age gritty bourne-esque bond and old-school womanizing, gadgety bond, and failed. The old school aston with the machine guns rigging the mansion was cool, as was rigging the lights in the mansion. BUT everything that had to do with computers was atrocious in a way that can only be compensated for by super cool gadgetry (ohh look Q "invented the security program" that looks like an 80s rendering of a DNA model instead of actual hacking, and then Barden rehacks Q with his mind or something. Then Q somehow makes a subtle trail with a computer and a drunk compatriot for Barden to follow. WTFBBQ SFHKSJDG.

As others have mentioned, Bond figures out some chick is a sex slave and then basically rapes her 20 minutes later.

Some kickass scenes, but they were so far between and cobbled together in such a lazy ass way that the movie as a whole fell flat.


Edit: I should clarify. I don't necessarily have a problem with the weird and completely unrealistic computer hacking scenes being in a Bond movie. But don't do it after pointing out how Q's gadgets are all unrealistic and a radio and a handgun are really what secret agents get. If you're gonna be unrealistic in that area, at least give me some ****ing laser glasses or some ****.

Last edited by riverfish1; 12-09-2012 at 12:25 AM.
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12-09-2012 , 01:29 AM
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Originally Posted by TheJubilantMale
Bardem going from top trained spy to top 2 in the world computer hacker I couldn't buy at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jordankickz
I really wanted to like this movie and was enjoying it quite a bit for the first third of it but had some major issues:

-Bardem was great of course but his character just did nothing for me and seemed really forced. He was this evil genius whose big plan was...to murder M? There just wasn't enough at stake. Felt like he should have been making some more serious cyberterrorist threats.

-If his whole plan was just to kill M, why didn't he just do it? He made this completely elaborate scheme to infiltrate MI6, have them relocate, get caught, just so he can escape and kill her? Why not just bomb the building when she's in it.


-The final standoff. This was the best they could come up with? MI6 vs some guy who appears to be smarter than MI6 and the best they could do is come up with a plan that they stole from Home Alone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goater
Anyway, with this film we just got a whiny, disgruntled ex employee with an essentially personal vendetta whos big plan was to shoot up M in a committee meeting. Not sure what all the "letting himself get captured so that he could escape underground into the tube tunnels and surprise M" was all about... He could have just got the bus there.

In this film, they introduce the villain by having him simply enter the room where they are holding bond and immediately start telling a weird story about rats. Where was the backstory? We needed to know this guy beforehand, have been shown that he is evil but also damaged, we needed to be interested in him and to fear him...

Whilst Bardem and the rat story were great, I immediately felt that they had got it wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoya
Why wouldn't Q and Mallory send support out to Bond for the final battle? If they were worried about Silva tracking it, they could have just told 10 guys to hop in a pickup truck and drive over . . .
Quote:
Originally Posted by ofishstix
Or since they were leaving a purposeful trail from which Silva got all his info, couldn't James have put her in a safe house somewhere out of harm's way and just fought him himself?
Quote:
Originally Posted by dinopoker
This movie was horrible on just about every level. I'd like to try and pinpoint it where it went so wrong but the answer lies with literally everything that was in the movie.

Just some of the fail:


Once the loldisk was stolen, on what planet would they not just pull all the agents out because their cover was blown? Even if Bond had managed to recover the disk before the info was uploaded to YouTube (lol) they would still have pulled out the agents because their cover was compromised, regardless of whether the data was encrypted or not. That they didn't is so criminally stupid I'd think M was a double agent.

on what planet does Q actually PLUG THE THING RIGHT INTO THE MI-6 NETWORK? Like even a total idiot would examine the thing on a stand-alone network in case a super hacker had hid a virus on it. This is so totally incompetent it would make me wonder if Q was working as a double agent too.

As an aside, I'd love to know on what universe a coded Walther PPK is useful to anyone? First of all there's the problem of getting it through customs when you fly to China, but what if it's just cold out and you want to wear gloves -- or not leave fingerprints when you whack someone in a foreign and hostile nation? The radio gadget is just as stupid. Why not just have that built in to his watch or cell phone (or implanted like in Casino Royale), and how was it that the bad guys didn't search Bond when they captured him and find it?


5. The super hacker dude manages this elaborate escape from MI-6 headquarters (which could have been foiled if they'd just locked him up with a padlock instead of a glass cage with an electronic lock), but then his master plan is to just invade Whitehall with his buddies when they're all dressed as cops and just shoot his way in? This is supposed to work in a country that was dealing with the IRA for years and years and oh by the way just had a bomb go off in the MI-6 director's office?

The plan Bond went with was so totally incompetent on so many levels it's just absurd. I mean, how is that Bardem wouldn't have foreseen this and just dropped a bomb on the house or something?

I don't mind a movie that occasionally has to take some leaps to be plausible, but this piece of crap just insulted my intelligence at pretty much every scene. It was worse than an episode of CSI or something.


In short, I really find it quite staggering that anyone could actually like this movie. It was brutal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dinopoker
wishing they'd stayed with the Theme of Casino Royale instead of going right back to everything that was wrong with the Brosnan movies so quickly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wholecut
really enjoyed this movie, but of course the plot is fairly lol complicated in classic Bond style. this is exactly what Austin Powers mocked.


Silva walking into the meeting with guns blaring as his coup de grace, after the years of planning it took for his escape / capture, makes my head spin
Quote:
Originally Posted by timeforheroes
Also why did he have to be captured and then escape? Why didn't he just go to the meeting from his island lair?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cuQaaa
I think the movie is just awful. In fact I get angry when others do like it.

It's an insult to intelligence, cause this story is so badly scripted and makes no sense at all.
It's so stupid that I am convinced the script was written by a chimp - who clearly took some meth even Heisenberg can't cook.


The storyline that matters is former 00-agent tries to kill M and everything else is just detour with any logic eliminated. Main criterion was obviously that it looks good and exciting, but I get confused when nothing makes sense.


The encoded hard drive with secret data was decoded? Uhm okay, very likely, assuming it has been encoded by an amateur..


This movie is just full of brain dead morons. Whoever wrote that plot should never ever get a job as writer again.
I feel like this movie was not done with any passion at all and just done to make some quick bucks of a very easily satisfiable audience. Sadly Skyfail is so successful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Truthsayer
Glad to see there's lots of hate for the movie in this thread.
Rotten tomatoes is 92%, it deserves around 40%.

- Ridiculous plot
- Big action scenes that make no sense
- Far too serious yet farcical events like MI6 building blowing up because hacker turned on the gas with his computer..lolwtfbbq- Ham fisted sub plots
- The most boring characters in any action movie in history
- No sense of humor, fun or gadgets
- Endless boring politics
- And to give a final bird flip to the audience, a ridiculous "Home Alone" last third of the movie that I watched in disbelief.

Maybe they're setting up for Macaulay Culkin to be the new Bond? That would be cooler than this ****.

Anyone who actually liked this film I can safely ignore their opinion on pretty much any topic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cotton Hill
I'm still clueless as to why Bond thought that driving off to the middle of no where to face an entire militarized hit squad with him, an old woman, and a fat old caretaker was somehow their best play for coming out on top.
Quote:
Originally Posted by riverfish1
the problem wasn't the lack of gadgets per se, it was that the movie tried to straddle the line between new-age gritty bourne-esque bond and old-school womanizing, gadgety bond, and failed.

BUT everything that had to do with computers was atrocious
All these


So disappointed in this piece of crap.
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12-09-2012 , 01:36 AM
There's a concept in Improv that every character should be acting at the height of their intelligence. If they're a genius, they should be making the best decisions a genius is capable of (given their current information/mindset). If they're an idiot, they should still be making the best decisions they're capable of.


It seems that in "Skyfall", every character is repeatedly making the stupidest decisions they're capable of. Makes it impossible to take anything that happens seriously.
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12-09-2012 , 03:16 AM
Favorable reviews got my hopes up. This was disappointing.

My favorite part was 'Villain gets captured in order to escape'.

'Surprise shower sex' was also pretty good.
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12-14-2012 , 01:18 PM
I love how ITT 95% of the criticisms of this Bond movie are that the plot and action scenes were ridiculous and unrealistic.

That's the very hallmark of a Bond movie. They have always been ridiculous and unrealistic. What did you expect?
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