This post is such obv troll, just lock thread and ban OP now he's outed as troll.

OP, yay or nay taking a crap on this toilet:

I know Port-a-johns get a bad rap but having needed to use them a ton in the past, they actually aren't all that scary when kept clean. The blue stuff they use is so strong there is no odor of anything else, and they aren't difficult to keep clean since everything is plastic. I'd probably rather use a well tended port-a-john than anything I've ever had in an airplane, or God forbid a bus or a boat.

Of course a nasty PAJ is just one of the worst things on earth.

The only option is to do nothing. Nature must take its course. Let your immune system work a little if necessary.

I've found that the acceptability of a toilet's cleanliness is not an objective thing at all, but rather a relative one. As the urgency with which I need to take a **** increases, so does the perceived acceptability of the toilet.

So if I am 10 seconds away from gushing runny **** all over myself, this:

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looks as acceptable to me as this:



and I'll take my chances about germ contamination.

Mr. Diablo,

This comes down to a simple matter of aligning your butthole with the bowl. It is a fairly simple task, so long as you are getting an optimal spread (so that your asscheeks do not obstruct the trajectory, which is disgusting in itself). The viscosity of the feces does factor into the calculation (to the extent that it can play a significant part in the outcome), but i assume that everyone is familiar with their average.

To all the "do nothing" crowd (shudder), are you at least conducting a visual inspection beforehand?

The ol' "it's everywhere" argument. This is obviously a defeatist approach. I for one will not succumb to the alleged inevitably of fecal matter/hair/whatever coming into contact with me, where i can identify an area where i can squeeze out an edge, i will strategize, plan and execute. To each their own.

I'm curious about ****ting down the side of the toilet, too. I mean, pretty much every toilet I've ever used, the seat has been wider than the bowl, meaning that it's logistically extremely difficult to poo down the side of the toilet. Unless of course you're having a blowout, in which case you should just be gushing straight into the water. I always assumed that the streaks on the sides of the toilet were from hoverers, no?

I am not the stain on humanity person who is ****ting down the side, but given its prevalence (identified by the disgusting stains), i have to assume that there is either an epidemic of blowouts, or there exist people who **** down the side intentionally (hoverers?). I welcome the hoverer who voted itt to enter into this discussion to enlighten us about this. It is either a matter of intention, or a catastrophic failure of the butthole to bowl alignment method outlined above. In both scenarios, you are a terrible, terrible person.

I hypothesize that hoverers, by increasing the distance between their ass and the bowl (thus increasing the velocity of the feces, increasing the chances of splash damage) are intentionally "playing it safe" and letting it run down the side.

After college I never had a problem using a public toilet again. Does the paper ass gasket do anything? I doubt it will i still us it yes.
Besides as stated in the past i don't want my junk rubbing up where someone else's junk was...

You say defeatist (lol), I say realistic.

If you want to spend your time obsessing over something in this one very narrow context and ignore the fact that you're still coming into contact with biological contaminants everywhere else, then feel free. It's your particular brand of crazy, not mine.

I have plenty of other things to worry about then OMG did I get some microscopic particle of another person's waste on me OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!

Humans have a wonderful capacity to decide what to focus on. I choose not to focus on something I can't see, is going to effect my life maybe 1 time in 1000000000000, and that serves no useful purpose other than to soothe imaginary neuroses.

The thing is, it's not even that you have this weird obsession with toilet sanitation that makes your comments so LOL. It's that you're so condescending and faux outraged by people who don't share your weird obsession.

Your are misinterpreting the threat, ignoring that microscopic stuff is gross in itself, in the event that you are a "do nothinger" there is risk of visible hair and fecal matter coming into contact with you. This doesn't bother you?. I hope that you are at least visually inspecting the seat/bowl beforehand.

I am well aware of the fact that germs abound, i do not see why taking steps to neutralize the threat is being perceived as "crazy", it is completely rational. My problem is that so many people do not have even the basic level of human decency of at least using the toilet properly, everyone has had instances where they encounter **** and piss everywhere. My cat, who without fail, observes the basic rules of **** where you are supposed to, in the proper method, is more intelligent than these people.

I suspect that some of this hostility is coming from hoverers who are ashamed to out themselves. Out yourself, so we can discuss the merits (?) and perils of hovering, so we can work towards creating a better world, without toilets with **** and piss everywhere, for our children.

Nah, I just walk right in and take a seat right in a puddle of piss.

Of course I look at the seat, then pass if it's disgusting (unless it's urgent and there's no choice). I'm female FFS, I have to sit just to piss. It's not that big a deal, and never, not once, have I ever sat on what appeared to be a clean seat and then started worrying about microscopic whatever that someone else left behind.

To properly assess the level of disgusting (already pretty high considering that the bare minimum of seat liners aren't being used), i will need to know how thorough your visual inspection is? Are you looking over it quickly to see any blatant red flags, or do you give it a decent scan so as to identify any potential hair/residue?

It is a terrible misfortune that females are configured in a way in which they (generally) have to sit down even for peeing. This and the whole not having to go through pregnancy thing are arguably the biggest "natural" edges that males have (imo).

It's the splinters on those outhouse seats you have to watch out for.

Visual inspection of the seat - if there's visible urine drops or hair, do a quick wipe down with toilet paper and proceed as usual. I don't use the seat liner at work, hotels, etc, but generally do in public restrooms even though I know it doesn't do anything.

If the toilet is disgusting with visible feces and urine everywhere, then I use a different stall/toilet.

I never understood why some people aren't able to use public restrooms - seems awfully inconvenient. But then I have my own weird quirks so whatever works for you.

Having the back of your thighs touching a toiletseat is basically the same as leaning your elbow on the counter at the bank (or the bar, or a picnic table, or anywhere like that).

Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E

OP has obviously completely fallen for the whole 'germs are all bad' campaign that was created to sell products. LOL at you, perfectly indocrinated by the ad agencies.

Get some **** or piss on you?… wash it off. No need to amputate a limb.

Up until the age of 22 (now 27), I had probably done maybe 1 or 2 public ****s. I've probably done about 40 now and they are all exclusively university ****s in toilets that I consider to have been used minimally and are clean to my acceptable level. I have never done a work **** and I'm quite proud of that record.

grunchtown: theres room for discussion about private toilet strat too. like, wtf would you ever pee standing up in your own home? you take great pride as a man to have to clean up sprinkle pee? no thanks.

i've never used a paper toilet seat cover(43yrs old)--i'm going to continue to go with my reads(in the rare instances i even have to use them!!) i'm still alive at this point and don't see a public toilet taking me down.

tuma, 'private' toilet use covers more than my own bathrooms imo.

I am amazed at my cat's ability to dig a hole and then crap in it. Hits it every damn time.

Clean it up? ygos?

I don't find OP very compelling at all