So this reporter interviews Stevie Wonder, and asks:

"Mister Wonder, has it never really bothered you that you have been blind all your life?"



"Meh, I´d rather be blind than black"





Tuff thing is that knowing this board is being dominated by American posters, I actually thought 15 minutes about posting this joke. That is sad really.

An inflatable pupil goes to his inflatable school and is having a really bad day.

Bored in his history lesson he gets up and walks out. Walking down the corridor he sees the inflatable headmaster walking towards him and he pulls a knife out and stabs him. He runs out of the school.

As he gets outside he thinks again "I hate school" and pulls his knife out and stabs the inflatable school. He runs off to his inflatable home.

Two hours later his inflatable mum is knocking at his inflatable bedroom door with the inflatable police.

Panicking, the inflatable boy pulls out the knife and stabs himself.

Later on in the evening he wakes up in the inflatable hospital and sees the headmaster is in the inflatable bed next to him.

Shaking his deflated head more in sorrow than in anger, the headmaster gravely intones:

"You've let me down, you've let the school down but, worst of all, you've let yourself down"

?

People would laugh at this?

what do women and KFC have in common?


once you're done with the legs and breast you've got a greasy box to put your bone in.

A man looking to escape the troubles of modern life decides to join a monastery and live as a monk. To join the Order, the man is required to take a vow of silence. Each year, the man will be brought into the presence of the head of the Order and allowed to speak two words.

The first year goes by with the man trying to adapt to his new life. At the end of the year, the man is brought to see the leader of the Order and the man says to the leader, "Food cold."

So, another year goes by. The man learns to grow his own crops, studies the Order's religious texts and continues to try and fit in with the other Brothers. At the end of the year, when the man is allowed once again to speak to the Order's leader, he says, "Bed hard."

Yet another year goes by with the man becoming increasingly disillusioned with his new lifestyle. The food is bad, the beds are hard, and he isn't getting the great enlightenment he had hoped for. So, at the end of his third year, the man stands before the Order's leader and says, "I quit."

The leader looks down at him and says, "Well, that doesn't surprise me. You haven't stopped bitching since you got here."

SpaceAce

A Priest, A Rabbi and a Minister walk into a bar, The Bartnerder Says " What is this a Joke?"

What did the zero say to the eight?






Nice belt.

I'm ashamed at how hard I laughed at this one.

A guy calls the hospital in a panic.

"Hello hello, I need some help. My wife's gone into labor. The contractions are three minutes apart. I don't know what to do!"

"Calm down, sir, everything's going to be fine. Is this her first child?"

"No, you idiot, this is her husband!"

A piece of rope walks into a bar. The bartender sees him and says, "hey you, get out - we don't serve rope in here!" So the piece of rope goes back outside, ties himself into a knot, tousles up his hair, and walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "hey aren't you that piece of rope I just kicked out?" to which the rope replies, "nope, I'm a frayed knot..."

So dumb but made me lmao for some reason!

People would laugh at this?

If you make it through the first two jokes, this:

"This is part of what makes bilingual education such an enormous hurdle for today's Hispanic youth."

is actually a laugh line.

A clown is walking with a kid into the middle of a forest at night and the kid starts to cry. The clown looks at the kid and says why are you crying? You're not the one that has to walk out of the woods all by himself.

Dog walks into a bar and says "How about buying me a drink for my Birthday?"

Bartender says "Sure thing, the toilet's down the hall on the right".

Interupting completely uncalled for

Credit for this one goes to The Sopranos where I heard Ralphie tell it-

Mrs. Custer decides she wants a painting remembering her husband's (General George Custer) last stand. So she goes to an artist and tells him she wants something that displays his final thoughts in the battle during which he was killed.

The artist goes to work and comes back a while later with the painting. Mrs. Custer looks at it and says "What is this? This painting is just a bunch of cows with halos on their heads and several Native Americans fornicating".

The artist responds - "you wanted a painting of your husband's thoughts during that last battle right?"

A confused Mrs. Custer says "yes, I did..."

The artist says "that's what I gave you, your husband's thoughts. 'Holy cow, look at all those fu(king Indians!'"

what do you do with an Islamic dog?






muzzle 'im

WHAT DO YOU CALL 10000 MASTURBATING COWS?





Beef Strokinoff

There's nothing quite as vulgar as not being funny.

A banana and a vibrator and sitting on a table. The banana turns to the vibrator and says, "What are you shaking for? They're gonna EAT me."

what's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics?


not being a ******.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowthrower?









Buy her a shovel.

A pedophile pulls his car up next to an eight year old boy and says "hey kid, if you come in my car I'll give you a piece of candy"

The kid looks at him and says "gimme the whole bag, I'll come on your face."

Why is 7 the most feared number?

Well, because seven eight nine.