Yeah, thats why I said he doesn't 'try'. I used to be a fan of the ******* theory but now I think it's just so flawed. The ******* isnt attractive because he does dumb stuff and is an ******* in general, he's attractive because he's not clingy needy desperate and insecure. Thats what I meant.

Your new avatar may or may not be the shizznits.

i've always associated the ******* theory with the PUA theory

it's for people where "being themselves" is a bad thing as far as making friends and meeting women go

It's not that women like *******s, it's that women are attracted to certain personality traits that tend to correlate with being an *******.

Exactly.

Nice guys tend to come off as pussies and don't pursue girls like they expect a man to pursue them. It's not about the fact the guy is nice or an *******.

As a "nice guy" myself, it's definitely out of my natural character to pursue women how they want to be pursued and it's taken a while, but I'm finally getting the hang of it.

I've somehow gotten to date 3 a few times with quality girls over the last few months without even going for a kiss and only realized recently how sad/bad that is... I'm guessing they kept agreeing to go out, just hoping that I'd finally man the **** up before giving up half-way through date 3.

Ok, for anyone who uses Tinder (i use POF and Tinder):

Can there be any better tactic than just liking everyone?

I know it's not the 60s, but invariably when I log in, the first girl I like will match with me, hence has liked me at some point. If I like everyone I'll come up first for them.

Yes, that means girls I don't actually like like will message me, but I can just block/ignore them.

But then if everyone's doing this...but we should be... no?

Yes. I usually hit the heart/like button before the photo even pops up.

Swiping to the right seems more time efficient.

Acquire matches, disregard their feelings?

IME 1 out of 10 girls on tinder puts their Twitter/Instagram handle in their profile

Any strategies for women who ignore the request for a number but respond anyway?

Just move on?

I've been dropping my number in my response to their deflection but with no success.

Are you asking for their number in conjunction with asking then out? If so, are they responding to the date request or responding to something unrelated? Just ask her out and see what she says.

Nothing specific, just something along the lines of "[blah blah blah]. We should meet for drinks. What's your number?"

The current one responded with:

EDIT: She just responded to my response to her deflection...

Me:
Her: WTF?

Ask her to a specific place and time rather than the vague "let's get together."

ATF,

What dale said. Don't ask for her number, ask her out.

Yea that's a perfect example of why you should just ask her out, set everything up and then just give her your number the 35% of the time she doesn't just give you hers without you having to ask for it.

I don't think you should do this through messaging on the site. As was recently discussed in this thread, I think it's better to just suggest a general time, and work out specific time & place over text the day before. "We should go out for drink" is basically fine; I always give the girl my number at the same time, as well as leaving her the option to give me her number.

It's pretty uncommon for a girl to respond to this without giving her number. On the rare occasions she doesn't (and doesn't text you directly), she's probably uncomfortable giving it out and you should just go ahead and suggest a day in a message.

Well tonight has been probably my most successful night message wise. Went 4/5 and already have 1 set up for a date next week.

One of the girls I messaged had a pretty much blank profile, so I sent her this opener as I had nothing to go with and she responded. I think I'm going to use it for other blank/empty profiles I run into since it actually seems decent IMO lol.
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Hey,

Given your mysterious profile, you'll have to imagine I opened with something playful and funny based on something you mentioned in your profile!

Now that you have a smile on your face, I'll ask a boring question since I'm curious to know what you find yourself doing for fun in your free time?
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I actually ran into this a while ago. I ended up asking for her # 2x, with me including my # the second time figuring it was a trust thing with her and still no dice.

Ended up setting the date through the dating site messaging system and sure enough 5min before we're to meet she texts me to say she is going to be a few min late LOL. Found it funny she wouldn't give me her # and then 5min before we are to meet she gives it to me.

Girl has a blank profile except for "I know a lot of random trivia"

Me: what's the best random trivia you got?

Her: there's a lake in Tanzania that turns whatever touches it to stone

Me: how do you know that? Are you made of stone?

Her: only my heart

Me: ???

"I usually break hearts so it's good that yours is sturdy"

I said "good that means I'm not responsible for turning it to stone"

Then no response

Yeah, I'm totally flaky when it comes to proposing a firm day, time, and place. I just fixed that leak though with another woman whose number I have. She rebuffed my "lets get drinks Friday offer" with "I already had plans". I asked "had or have?" She said "both". I threw in a space-time continuum joke in response. She replied "ha. okay then!" To which I just threw out a "saturday at x place. does y time work?" Dunno if she'll respond to it, not that I really care but don't I look pretty desperate countering with the other weekend evening?

I try to move the convo off site ASAP, which is why I push for the digits. I guess it only works with certain women.

I hate giving out my number first, it's so weak. Alas, on occasion its called for I guess.

Incidentally, I sent 43 yo cheerleader a text Monday, the evening after our hour long phone convo. No response. </3

So I guess when you send out enough good vibes, things happen:

1) Girl who wants to see a movie, 'horror movie girl', asked if I would be up for some day drinking and then go see a movie on Saturday. My kind of girl. We agreed to that a couple days ago, no other details yet. I figure we'll finalize it tomorrow.

2) Girl who had a good back and forth with and then got nothing, I messaged again today (thanks to some advice from yowza and kenny) and her response was "you make me laugh, let's go out, how is Saturday night?

So I could try and double book myself - day drinking, movie, then go out later for drinks with girl 2. Or should I not tempt fate? Clearly girl 2 wants to go out. I'm definitely not used to double booking myself.