I do agree that girls rarely show up on time.

My stats: ~20 online first dates, 0 flakes, 2 showed up at or before agreed time, everyone else 1-12 minutes late, none were super later. I've now come to expect a "running a bit late, be there in 5!" text.

I did one bowling date...never again. Bowling is only fun when you have a crew of 4+. Ice skating sounds interesting, I'll have to add that one. A lot of activity dates are girl dependent. I did mini golf with a girl who plays golf and that was a lot of fun.

I don't usually do dinner or movies until we've hooked up.

Too late to edit, but I meant to say they are much more likely to include too little detail as opposed to too much.

Starting with "Hey guys!" seems to conflict with your objective in creating an online dating profile.

Where do we go from here? Think I just ran good but she's really pretty.


Show me your tumblr so I can make fun of it quintessential tumblrgurl420.

16% Enemy 44% Friend 80% Match Sent to sassqueenthecat

Jan 6, 2013 – 10:10pm

no

Jan 6, 2013 – 10:18pm
That's the most charming thing I could come up with in 20 minutes

Jan 6, 2013 – 10:19pm
I'm charmed, believe me


Jan 6, 2013 – 10:28pm
Awesome I'll be back in an hour with something else to say.

#makingtumblrgirlsblush

Jan 6, 2013 – 10:32pm
I'll be asleep, so you can get some extra time. it better be good.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sassqueenthecat

What made you want to message this girl? I mean, did you not see all 10,000 red flags on her profile? Anyone that posts their AIM or actual Email account on a FREE site, that just can't be good. I mean maybe I'm judgy because she's a 16% match for me personally (I've never seen one lower), but you can do better, dude.

No kidding about the 10,000 red flags....I didn't really message her seriously, her profile was just too bizarre not to say something. I mostly wanted to see if she was a real person. IIRC, she wrote me back something not particularly interesting, and I didn't reply.

Good god, she's even answered over 3000 questions, most with a long-winded explanation.

She publicly answered
3337 questions

Wow

edit: and she is bisexual, yet doesn't think gays/lesbians should be able to adopt. Also she only wants to have sex after the wedding. Weird.

How important to you is a potential match's sense of humor?
-Not important.

Do you feel that having sex with someone you have known less than one year would be too soon?
-Yes.

How important is money/wealth for you in a match?
-Very important

Are you the type of person to tell a homeless person to get a job?
-Yes

Should prostitution be legal?
-ABSOLUTELY NOT it pisses me off that these bitches can make more money than i do.



... sounds like a catch to me.

I'm trying to add a bit of humor to my profile. Is this funny in a way that is attractive to women:

After I say I like Trueblood, saying something, in parentheses, like "just for what it's worth, I'd probably rather bang Alexander Skarsgard than you."

no.

Pretty unequivocally unfunny, then. Sucks not being funny...

Yeah, if you legit thought that would be a good joke to make, I'd recommend not making any jokes for you.

I've actually been told by multiple sources that I'm funny in real life (mostly dudes though_. But the longer I spend thinking about jokes, the worse and stupider sounding they are. It has to be in the spur of the moment for me, and online dating is the antithesis of that. Also, what I think is funny doesn't transmit very well through text.

Making a joke about wanting to bang a dude isn't the greatest way to attract women. Kinda like making a stalker or rape joke.

it was not funny even if you set gender of target audience aside, but it was seriously the best i could come up with.

although it is true that i would rather bang him than 90% of women

yeahhhh you should just never try to make an attempt at humor again, on okcupid or here.

Maybe try adamforadam

As somebody who lives in the nyc area where it's cold like ****, I'm having an extremely difficult time getting dates this time of year. It was such ez game back in November too :/

Here's the fun thing about spam- if you just ****ing blast every single girl that looks halfway OK at a cursory glance, then it's like a mystery surprise when you get a message back. Is she cute? Does she seem fun? Or was she a MISTAKE??? It's a pretty fun sweat imo.

Also thanks to binnn for helping my selectivity w/ a message that I didn't respond to! Think it would be cool to hear from any other girls (if there are any) who could weigh in on what reply frequency is preferred for guys.

Emailed some ghetto single mom whose profile was all curse words and **** telling her someone aught a wash her mouth out with soap. No response : (

Not really, the humorous spark is there, it's just that the execution is bad.
You want to communicate you have a mancrush on this guy. That's good and potentially funny. You chose a nasty exclusional way to do it. That's not funny. More acceptable:

(We can discuss how good looking Alexander Skarsgard is!)
(If we watch together I have dibs on Alexander Skarsgard)
(I get a huge erection when Alexander Skarsgard comes on)

OK, I was just kidding about that last one.

They probably get the idea and forgive you the execution because they know you. Work on being more inclusive and positive in your humor. A good rule of thumb for humor is that if it doesn't make the girl feel nice or safe or included independent of the humor, then don't say it. For example, your joke above, if you ignore the humor, actually puts her down <I'd rather bang X than you>.

If you asked every one of my friends who the funniest one in our group is I would bet a lot would say myself...

But I don't think I've ever had someone tell me I'm funny. Seems weird. Usually you know you're funny when you are making people have a real laugh constantly.