You're highly educated, and that's attractive and interesting. They probably saw that in your profile and glazed over the rest. That's what I would have done. Are you making these women laugh on your dates? How's your sex appeal? How long do these dates usually last? #1 reason why I don't want a second date: guy is too boring and/or creepy

looks too overdone (professional) for my tastes

Sme clues i guess: how confident/comfortable are you? How much does your body language match the conversation/vibe?

And most importantly, how much does the image you try to project on the date match what you really want out of it?


A lot of guys that are the smart/educated type think they have to project that through conversation and behavior. But what they really want is tobang the **** out of their dates. That sort of incongruency is the worst and very difficult to be self aware of imo. Im just mentioning something off the top of my head with no idea whether that could potentially apply.

Maybe its because youre looking at it from a critique my picture point of view rather than a is this guy hot point of view?

Imo profile pic is johhny depp-ish, rest are endearing/cute and 3rd makes him look like a pickpocketer from an english ghetto

I concur. Nick, what kind of woman are you looking for? What turns you off about the first type you mentioned?

Did you intentionally use the same avatar as Fly? I swear that's who I thought I was looking at, but then I looked at your screen name. Hmmm, maybe it's just a well-known poker pic.

Nothing turns me off....I'm suggesting that they seem to be attracted to my profile, but not me in person. For the most part (with some exceptions), they are rejecting me, not me rejecting them. So maybe I should be trying to attract different people who will be more accepting of who I really am? But I don't exactly know what the disparity is.

I'm sure I mentioned this in Ms. OOT, but I think my ideal woman would be Rachel Zane from Suits.

I always thought online dating was for the desperate and the mentally ill. But recently I have become both desperate and mentally ill, so I am considering giving it a go. I actually have a half decent face but I am very skinny. Is a full body shot expected on these putrid dating sites or will a face shot suffice?

That's what people thought 10 years ago. You are way behind the times.

Not intentionally. It's probably because The Wire is the GOAT in television and is a huge hit on these forums. I just googled The Wire and found it fitting for an avatar on 2+2. And I like to throw off the local 2+2 regs that think I'm black because of it.

There doesnt have to be a disparity. When a woman browses profiles randomly, or replies online, she can have the luxury of letting her rational mind do the chosing. Oh this guy seems nice and successful.

But on a date and in person, she has to feel attraction on a more primal level.

Specially when, like i said, what you yourself really want is that. You cannot spend the date as a cleancut nice successful professor then expect an attraction. Itll likely be at worst a boring date, and at best a neutral thing that did not affect her whatsoever.

She wants that nice smart guy that her brain picked out to be a slightly aggressive attractive guy that makes her wet (very sleazy way of wording it but still)

I feel confident, although after so many failed dates, this is being somewhat worn down.

I'm not sure about body language. I do have two small medical issues that may make me appear a bit less confident:

- Due to arthritis in my family, I have a persistent tremor that makes my hands appear to always shake slightly. It's pretty funny when people try to interpret tells off of this when I play poker.

- I have generally bad posture, appearing slightly hunched over. I've tried to self-correct this for years with little success. I actually recently saw a doctor, who thinks I might have a genetic condition causing my upper spine to curve strangely. I had x-rays taken, but haven't gotten a verdict.

^This.

I also like the B&W pic. Even the hookah pic (w/o the hookah, obv).

Should I be using that to my advantage or keeping it under wraps?

I felt I should put at least one up there so they know my teeth aren't all ****ed up.

I think his profile pic is the best too. The B&W and hookah pics make him look really young.

Yeah if you're getting lots of firsts but not a lot of seconds I don't think this is an "online dating problem" as much as it's a "dating problem."

Sounds like you've mastered online dating lol

Dean, I sent the message.

She said "lol smooth" and gave her #. Try to set up a date for tonight?

Haven't texted her or replied to her message. But she sent another

"my friends want me to go there tonight, how ironic"

This was in reference to a Tampa nightlife area we were discussing. Giving signals?

Says the desperate and mentally ill.

Ha...if I had mastered online dating I think I would be dating someone right now!

I don't think the goal of online dating is to get a whole lot first dates. It's to get dates with people you will be compatible with. Anyone could get unlimited first dates just by blatantly lying on their profile!

In some sense, going on a bunch of first dates (with no second dates) is one of the worst possible outcomes, because you end up wasting a lot of time & money with nothing to show for it. I am so bored of meeting new people right now, but I still barely know anyone in my city!

(It looks like my date for tonight may be postponed til tomorrow...Wharton girl keeps saying she's stuck at work :P)

Took you guys long enough!

there are an inordinate number of chapstick addicts on OKC

Meh, first dates are better than one at all. It sucks whiffing them, but it's not like you're going to have a great connection with her everytime either

Profile

Re-posting for criticisms from Jelly/Felecia. I'm meeting with a photographer next week to hopefully get some decent-er pics of me on there.

Have you made your profile recently? That saved by the bell episode was just on last week...solid reference haha

Every episode of Saved by the Bell was on last week somewhere.

Nah, that episode just sticks out in my head. Every episode is on Netflix Instant Watch as well.

Coffee date tomorrow, I'm on the fence but if she has a solid personality, it could go well. Then again, 1pm is by far the earliest date I've had, so I might not be my usual charming self either.