90% of girls who respond to my messages respond within a day or two. There are exceptions, but they are definitely exceptions. If a girl doesn't respond after a couple days, she's almost certainly not going to respond, and there really isn't anything you can do to induce her to respond. So writing them again will usually be -EV, but the cost is just the time it took to write the message. Obviously don't write again the next day or anything like that!

However, if a girl visits your profile every day for more than a week and never responds, she must know that she's acting strangely. I feel like it would be OK to call her out on that. IDK, I can't say I've ever had a girl do that.

Commenting on how someone views your profile but doesn't send messages is ****ing creepy.

What do people think of becoming paid members? I always thought it makes you seem desperate, and you're taking online dating way too seriously. On a site like POF in particular. On a site like Eharmony, it makes sense to pay.

You don't think its creepy to view someone who has messaged you on ten separate occasions and not reply to them?

I'm actually a paid member on OKC. I figure the cost per month is like 10% of what I would pay on one date, so it seems pretty trivial. The big advantage is seeing who viewed you while anonymous browsing, and being able to search by attractiveness & body type.

I don't know what I would get out of paying on POF unless it magically made higher quality women appear on the site.

Edit: On OKC, I don't think anyone can tell whether you are a paid member or not. At least I hope this is true.

10x? Wow.

pretty sure i said this exact sentence earlier with "jism" in place of "splooge".

also lol at being able to bypass people having a filled mailbox for $1 on okcupid. gtfo.

YOu can 100% tell on POF. Not sure about OKC

Nick if you want you could PM me your profile link and I'll just tell you. I doubt many girls ever pay for it but I have never seen a profile stand out in that way from the rest, and now I'm genuinely curious.

I have seen girls with fancy ass looking profiles on POF, though. I don't know why those sites think it's good to flaunt that.

I just looked this up, and apparently you cannot tell if someone is "A-list" on OKC. You used to be able to tell, but that changed this a while back.

BTW, out of curiosity I did a numerical comparison of # of straight women to # of straight men on OKC. I limited by search to:
- People who were exactly my age (33...to make it easy to count)
- W/in 25 miles of me
- Online in last week
- With photo
- 3+ Attractiveness

I counted 20 women and 51 men (I guess 52 including me!). This actually wasn't as bad a discrepancy as I feared. Of course, it might also be a little more even in the older age range. There will probably also be a lot more people total in younger age ranges.

Wow. How would people feel about a site that charged only men for use of their site?

He is trolling me for some reason, I would ignore it.

I'll experiment. I sent out 9 messages trying to incorporate things from their profile, and it was admittedly very time consuming. So far I've gotten two replies. What's a typical response rate?

I guess one option is to take more time writing messages to hotties, and just say "hey what's up" or whatever to the average/ below average chicks.

Depending on how you define "hotties", I would consider spending less time writing messages to hotties, unless you truly have something distinctive to offer; they are generally very unlikely to respond in any case. They are also much more likely to be fake profiles.

Yeah, but when it pays off, it's much better. The risk of fake profiles seems like a decent reason to go to a pay-only site to me if I'm going to get very serious about this.

Also, what's the proper amount of time to wait before texting after exchanging numbers on one of these things? I don't wanna text too soon and come off desparate, but I figure there's also some risk that, since it's online, they might forget who I am if I wait too long.

i dunno. if you can get a 5% response rate from a spam message that's pretty decent i'd say. i was getting a lot higher back in nov (prob 15-20%) but then i took a break and tried again recently and it's a lot lower. dunno how much of it is weather vs holidays vs variance.

also response rate isn't what you should be paying attention to- it's how often you get an actual date.

I highly doubt it will ever pay off unless you have a great picture. My pic is real good but I can't seem to find any girl who is > 7 who wants to meet.

What's your rate of getting dates from girls who respond to you?

I'm back from NYC. Creating a new profile on POF, and heading to BPM, OKC, and ID. Should be able to drive by tomorrow or the day after.

:-)

~ 80% not counting the ones i flaked. a big part of that is that i go for the meetup w/ my spam message so it weeds out the trolls.

I had a couple of girls message me then not bother replying to my response. Is this normal or do I suck at online dating? I'm useless face to face so it wouldn't surprise me if I'm equally crap over the internet.

One of them had a very brief profile which stated that she was looking for someone that could bring her out of her shell and then gave a list of her interests (photography, art, animals, culture, etc). Her message to me was "wow, amazing photos ", I have a bunch of photos from when I was backpacking on my profile.

My response was:

Thanks I like the fancy dress photos, looks like a fun night.

What sort of photography are you interested in? I bought a DSLR when I was in New Zealand, wish I'd got it before I went to Africa. Still learning how to use it really but I'm getting better all the time.

Anything I should have done differently?

I'm planning to message a single mum that has her status set to "isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment". Her very short profile states that she has a cat & dog and that she's looking for some "banter". I wouldn't normally message someone with this type of profile but apparently she's interested in meeting me. Assuming it wasn't a missclick it might be reasonably easy to get a conversation going. What's the best way to proceed? I have a photo of myself with a dog as my main picture so I was going to send her a message asking what type of dog she has and talking about how much better dogs are than cats. Not exactly groundbreaking but she hasn't given me much to work with.

That's a pretty long response to a short message. If you just truncate it to this:

It'd be better. Only time I write a message longer than that is when the girl has a long-winded profile and sends me a long message and even then I don't go much longer than that.

The thing about 2p2 is that it puts you in a hyper-analytical head space which translates horribly to the dating world. Even smart girls get bored by long-winded conversation.

Other than that, yeah, sometimes girls hit you up and don't respond. It's how it is.

Amazing,

"Should be able to drive by tomorrow or the day after."

Amazing!

I have two pics: one headshot of me in a suit, and one playing with my dog. Good enough?

And I just sent this message:

Acceptable?

Wutang,

I guess that's prob ok, but I think it might come off as trying too hard to come up with a witty opener.

For first girl the reply is a bit long but i guess you were trying to squeeze in the fact that youve traveled a lot. In any case, the reply is fine and isnt the reason she didnt respond. She might have not checked, etc....dont try to figure out random stuff like that.

For the single mom id start more aggressively tbh. She isnt looking for the love of her life and expressed interest so keep the tension up.

Online dating is the nuts imo. When i was in DC i fooled around withit. Its ridiculously convenient.