Had fourth date with girl, dinner at mine and she stayed over. I thought I fancied her but I'm getting second thoughts. It's not the sex. I'm so disappointed in myself, I basically have way too high standards. By all rights I should be head over heels with this girl, we have so much in common and she is attractive but I don't know if I'm feeling it enough. Maybe it's because she's really into me, I don't know.

So frustrating.

It feels like I'm going to be caught in a constant cycle of moderate interest followed by eventual rejection from girls I am genuinely excited about but might be a level above me, and being moderately interested in but ultimately rejecting girls who are probably actually my level or slightly below. I hate the term 'level' but it kinda makes it easier to explain.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

I don't mind talking about it however I will be vague. I've also received a positive reaction to "I'm pretty burned out on the whole thing, you're probably my last online date for a while".


Yes, it's fairly common to want what we can't have. Also, what we can have is perceived as having less value. This is one reason playing "hard to get" is so effective. It's also why women will hold out on sex until later dates. See a psychiatrist.

Your Detect Fake Profiles skill needs work.

But only the horror stories that reflect how terrible your companion was, obv.

I usually just go straight in with 'C'mon, let's not talk about that' or 'We can get to that later' and a knowing smile, before instantly changing the subject.

It's a fun topic if asked correctly. Any horror stories? Worst first date? Etc way better than "what's your experience w/ OKC?"

she considers every lunch a success

let this be a valuable lesson- always get a full body pic

Yea it generally depends on how early on in the date she brings it up. If it's one of the first things she mentions (first hour or so), I'm always going with sandra's answer. If it's later on in the date and things are going well, I might throw in a story or two. I often just make **** up in this scenario depending on what I think she might find amusing.

I think a general "you know how it is..." and let her talk because obviously she has more entertaining stories than you do and she probably wants to talk about it anyway since she brought it up is a pretty safe/good play always, unless you actually do have a good real/made up story.

I guess "have everything" doesn't include a dictionary.

Let me guess she is also fat.

This paragraph basically summarizes exactly why online dating is so tiring for me.

On a side note, had a pretty solid first date last night. Only 2.5 hours at the bar (short by my standards!) but she seemed pretty smart (went to Cornell) and was super cute. She also had put "rather not say" for body type, which would normally have been a no-no but all her pictures made her look thin, which she was. Score one for the listed body type not meaning too much people!

to borg's last two posts

I probably wrote a ****ty post but I didn't actually end it, she did. I was feeling a bit **** about the relationship and had doubts but she was the one that actually ended it... I just agreed as soon as she said she thought we should break up.

Very familiar

So what is one supposed to do when there was literally no break in the words coming out of her mouth? I tried broadcasting it with my body language but she just wasn't picking up on it.

This is generally called bad chemistry.

If that's actually true then you ride it out and then never contact her again, and leave her to continue wondering why it's so hard to find a guy that isn't flaky.

These are exactly the kind of women that put JUST WANT TO FIND ONE GUY THAT'S NOT LIKE ALL THE OTHERS in their profiles.

lol, yeah it was just strange because the first 2 hours we actually had a pretty decent vibe going, but then it just became a trainwreck

Grab her hand, smile coyly and kiss her. That will shut her up.

Yeah this is exactly how I phrase it, then I go on to cite the girl who asked for my number and then tagged my pictures and put it on gay craiglist singles(see earlier itt)
or the girl who told me after a second glance that I was too ugly, the one who told me she wanted my baby 10 min in to date 1 etc

Another victory for the Blue Jays tickets:

After a few short and standard messages to a girl who lives in Hamilton (I'm in Toronto):

Me:
Do you ever find yourself wandering into my neck of the woods?

Her:
Rarely...I haven't had much reason to. Are you going to be my reason?

Me:
Only if playing drinking games while watching the Blue Jays sounds fun to you.

Her:
I've never been...that sounds amazing text me xxx xxx xxxx

I have yet to successfully get more pictures from anyone prior to a first date. How do you all go about asking? Every time I ask straightforwardly they disappear on me.

First text
"Hey, it's KP, do me a favor and send me a picture for my contact info so I don't get you confused with my 65 year old coworker with the same name? Here I'll send you one first."

The last girl I went out with listed her body type as "curvy", and I was further worried because she asked if I had ever met a date and immediately ran out on her. Turned out to be pretty hot though.

Curvy definitely has a bimodal distribution.

I ask them. If they ask why I say bc i want to get a better idea of what they look like. Usually they send more. If they don't they are guaranteed to be fat slobs- and fat slobs with zero confidence to boot.Who needs 18 pictures from the neck up?

yea curvy can be a total whale or really hot with actual curves that are attractive to men