youtalkfunny,
I thoroughly enjoyed your losing weight thread and your ability to change your mind unlike most fatties. So I'm going to try to help you. Let me write out the subtext that she will read from all the noise you wrote:
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This is my apology. You should open it any way.
You should do what I tell you, kid. Ain't nothing worse than making up your own mind. Ugh, he's not starting off well.
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I told a few friends about our correspondence ("...she spends the weekend telling me she wants to suck me off, ride me till I come, this and that, she's playing with herself every time she thinks of me--then she's outraged that I'm thinking we're gonna screw!")
Wow, he really did want just sex, and I can't believe he told his friends - now if I date him his friends will know about our sexting and think I'm a slut or laugh at me. I can never trust this guy.
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, and they wondered what went wrong after it had been going so right for several days.
He still doesn't get what he did wrong. What a total **** up.
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So I showed them the entire transcript (don't worry, your anonymity is still safe, I only copy/pasted the text, and redacted info like your screen name and phone number)
Wow, this guy has no respect for my privacy. What was I thinking?
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, expecting them to reassure me that I wasn't the crazy one.
God this guy is so dumb
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Oh, they agree, all right--they agree that I'M the *******! And that my blasting you at the end was just the icing on the ******* cake!
"Yeah, dude, sure, she started it---but then you kept it going for DAYS. WTF were you thinking?"
Horny toad needs to be told he's overly horny? This is weird.
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I wasn't thinking. Not clearly, any way. I had been able to keep my animal urges under control for most of the way, but once you escalated it to full-blown dirty talk, I wasn't prepared for it, and I completely lost my mind.
So this is a grown man who calls me "kid", but is worse than a horny teenager? How long since this guy has had sex? Sooooo unappealing.
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Remember on the phone, you told me about a guy who referred to you as "a sure thing"? And I groaned at what a jerk he was? I groaned because I never go into a date thinking that way.
So you're not like the other guy
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But this time was different. Once you started telling me how hot I made you, you became a "sure thing" in my mind.
Except you're exactly like him and don't even have the self awareness to realize it - and all it took was a little dirty talk to get you there. What a pig you are.
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As my friends pointed out, you tried talking me down at that point, and I was completely ignoring you (until you justifiably resorted to ALL CAPS). I had one thing on my mind, and I was not going to be denied.
Thanks for confirming that you're a full blown creeper, *******.
You just proved that it is yet again with this email. Get a tiny bit of self awareness.
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I know that's hard to believe, but go back and read our history, and you'll see it--once you tell me about getting horny on your drive home from Iowa (specifically, when you talk about calling out my name, and how thinking about me was what was getting you all worked up), that's the point I lost my mind.
You think I want to be reminded of what I said to a creep? You think reminding of this is a good idea? How are you not getting this? Way to blow your final chance, buddy.
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So please forgive me. I'm not writing this because I hope to salvage something I've thoroughly nuked;
He can't even be honest in an apology email; what a piece of **** this guy is.
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I just hate that I upset you. You were nothing but sweet from the very outset, and did nothing to deserve what you got from me. I am so very sorry.
Ok. I genuinely believe this. Why he couldn't just say this without making it worse? What an idiot. I appreciate that he got there in the end, but I'm pretty wary of this guy and there's no way this creeper would get sex for ages even if I did meet him.