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Hey, Everybody! Hope dating has been going well for everyone.

I got burned by a chick the other night and wanted to run it by this thread before I make a hasty move and blow my chances with seeing her again.

I had an awesome tinder date last Tuesday that involved lots of drinks. We both ended up back at my place, yada yada. Texted a bit the next day and that was pretty much it. She texts me on Friday night at 12:50 asking what I'm doing (sitting at home reading lol) and I end up going out to meet her at a night club.

I get there around 1:30 and the place is huge and I can't find her and she's not texting back. She did warn me that she was quite drunk and is the type of girl that really can get caught up in the moment so I'm not writing it off as a total diss. Anyways, I don't get an apology text or anything from her over the weekend. Just wondering if I should bother reaching out to her or just wait it out till she gets back to me. One of the sexiest girls I've ever been with and the first girl since a relationship ended close to two months ago so I'm a bit obsessed right now.

I get that she sucks for not texting me back but I'm just trying to see her again.

Looking forward to hearing everyones take on things.

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07-15-2019 , 10:05 PM

#50327

chillrob

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 22,625

Next time tell her to come over to your place instead of going out to a club to meet her. Does someone who is home reading on Friday night really want to go out at 1am to a noisy club to hang out with a drunk girl? She may not even remember that she was supposed to meet you, or maybe she thinks that you stood her up.

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07-15-2019 , 10:26 PM

#50328

pokerjo21

grinder

Join Date: Apr 2018 Posts: 455

She will have known he was there because there will have been the trying to find one another texts I assume.

Move on - she's not interested. 12:50 is the desparation "**** I'm going home alone time" hence your booty call. She probably hooked up with some rando in the time it took you to get there.

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07-15-2019 , 10:37 PM

#50329

coordi

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 23,647

Quote:

Originally Posted by dylance

Hey, Everybody! Hope dating has been going well for everyone.

I got burned by a chick the other night and wanted to run it by this thread before I make a hasty move and blow my chances with seeing her again.

I had an awesome tinder date last Tuesday that involved lots of drinks. We both ended up back at my place, yada yada. Texted a bit the next day and that was pretty much it. She texts me on Friday night at 12:50 asking what I'm doing (sitting at home reading lol) and I end up going out to meet her at a night club.

I get there around 1:30 and the place is huge and I can't find her and she's not texting back. She did warn me that she was quite drunk and is the type of girl that really can get caught up in the moment so I'm not writing it off as a total diss. Anyways, I don't get an apology text or anything from her over the weekend. Just wondering if I should bother reaching out to her or just wait it out till she gets back to me. One of the sexiest girls I've ever been with and the first girl since a relationship ended close to two months ago so I'm a bit obsessed right now.

I get that she sucks for not texting me back but I'm just trying to see her again.

Looking forward to hearing everyones take on things.

If only goal is to see her again then yeah wait for her to get back to you, or reach out to her ~10 days after the initial diss like nothing happened.

Quote

07-15-2019 , 10:47 PM

#50330

Eeyorefora

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 3,172

Quote:

Originally Posted by pokerjo21

This.

Don't get worked up to see her again, and if she wants to meet up in the future, only do it on your terms.

But probably best not to do it again.

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07-15-2019 , 10:54 PM

#50331

JoeC2012

veteran

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 2,717

Quote:

Originally Posted by chillrob

This. If you nailed the timing of the "come over to my place instead" text the chances of it working seem pretty substantial

Quote

07-15-2019 , 11:41 PM

#50332

Xenoblade

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Sep 2017 Posts: 4,217

yea I like the idea of telling her to come over instead, ASSERT DOMINANCE

given how it was played out why aren’t we just honest, text her something like yo ciuldnt find you so I left, hope nothing bad happened to you I was worried for a bit

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07-16-2019 , 01:16 AM

#50333

Fossilkid93

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 14,332

You should have asked her back to your place and if she didn't show up right away follow up with:

"Are you coming or not? I would have sex with you all night, I promise."

Check a few posts above for a good template to use in this situation.

Just kidding obviously.

I have to agree with the consensus. There's 0 chance I'm going out to meet her, but then I hate clubs anyway. Seems like the optimal play is to tell her to head over to your place.

As played, I would let her reach out to me, otherwise I'd forget it.

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07-16-2019 , 10:36 PM

#50334

dylance

journeyman

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 223

cool, thanks guys. I actually really, really wanted to drink that night but didn't have anyone to drink with and wasn't feeling going out alone (I'm in a new city with few friends) so it was my idea to meet up with her to at least get a few drinks in.

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07-16-2019 , 11:45 PM

#50335

chillrob

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 22,625

I'm sorry you are lonely in a new city. I have experienced that several times before. But drinking isn't a good way to fix the problem.

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07-17-2019 , 08:52 AM

#50336

dkgojackets

DKGOAT

Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 86,123

it's not like he's an alcoholic drinking his problems away, he just wanted to hang out and have drinks at the club because thats a fun thing people do on friday nights

Id just move on like nothing happened, text later in the week if you want to see her this weekend.

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07-17-2019 , 05:53 PM

#50337

JoeC2012

veteran

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 2,717

On Hinge, are you guys leaving a comment for the girl immediately, or waiting until she likes you back to start the conversation?

Quote

07-17-2019 , 06:00 PM

#50338

chillrob

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 22,625

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeC2012

On Hinge, are you guys leaving a comment for the girl immediately, or waiting until she likes you back to start the conversation?

How would you wait? One of the reasons I don't like Hinge is because I see a profile and then only have the choices of leaving a comment or rejecting the match. I can't see another profile until I do one or the other.

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07-17-2019 , 06:17 PM

#50339

coordi

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 23,647

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeC2012

On Hinge, are you guys leaving a comment for the girl immediately, or waiting until she likes you back to start the conversation?

I've sent a few when the opportunity presents itself to say something witty but I can't remember a single time that someone has matched off my comment. Seems like a waste of time to me

Quote:

Originally Posted by chillrob

If they match you first those are your two options, but leading in the discovery queue let's you like a photo or answer without leaving a comment

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07-17-2019 , 08:46 PM

#50340

chillrob

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 22,625

As soon as I click on a heart for like, it gives me a space to type in a message. Maybe you can just leave it blank? Never tried that.

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07-18-2019 , 03:54 AM

#50341

SandraXII

veteran

Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 2,103

I just do the mass liking of various pictures (usually not the first one in a profile) but if I see someone I particularly like the look of, I'll write a custom message about the photo or piece of text. This usually takes the form of finding a skiing pic and asking a girl if she went out to the mountains last season, which often results in solid chat.

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07-18-2019 , 03:16 PM

#50342

dylance

journeyman

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 223

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeC2012

On Hinge, are you guys leaving a comment for the girl immediately, or waiting until she likes you back to start the conversation?

Asked two girls I'm friends with and they said they're much more likely to match with someone that leaves a comment with the like.

Quote

07-19-2019 , 03:06 AM

#50343

Gaddy

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 4,385

Quote:

Originally Posted by chillrob

Hinge is cheap to see all who have liked you and save some for later. It’s $36 for six months.

Quote

07-19-2019 , 08:32 AM

#50344

PocketInfinities

veteran

Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 2,942

+1, paying for Hinge+/Tinder+ (Bumble is good by itself w/o paying) is well worth it for efficiency reasons (although I’d have loved to do Fossil’s setup where you can swipe from Desktop, I was never able to configure my devices that way)

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07-19-2019 , 11:42 AM

#50345

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fossilkid93

After a few days of swiping right very selectively, on 5-10% of profiles, I'm beginning to come to the conclusion that the algorithm stuff is BS, or at least that it is based on who's swiping right on you and has nothing to do with your own swiping patterns.

Match quality has been basically the exact same, but I find this method far more tedious and less fun. I still think swiping right 100% (preferably logging onto Tinder.com and just clicking a mouse for 5 minutes while watching Youtube) and then deciding who to message with once you see the matches is by far the way to go.

https://images.app.goo.gl/Wf1ArYvz3wVkuoWd6

Quote

07-19-2019 , 01:20 PM

#50346

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fossilkid93

https://images.app.goo.gl/Wf1ArYvz3wVkuoWd6

Quote

07-19-2019 , 01:29 PM

#50347

Fossilkid93

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 14,332

M owns one of those for re-posting messages every 90 minutes.

Quote

07-21-2019 , 05:41 PM

#50348

YaySportsTeamWins

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2019 Posts: 112

Matched with a asian college girl, she seemed really into me, not super cute but smart, nerdy, very sweet, into fashion, went out for a drink and ice cream. Was all of those things in person, chatted for about 90 mins, but kept making weird looks with her face, and body just wasn't hot enough for me to pursue any further. Then she also wanted me to immediately commit to spending a weekend night with her next week which was a hard pass.

I get a lot of attention from asian college and grad school chicks, no idea why other than smart and tall.

Quote

07-21-2019 , 06:00 PM

#50349

Eeyorefora

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 3,172

Spending a night with her next weekend?

As in a date?

Seems fair, but if you aren't interested, you're not interested.

You might just be asian catnip.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Quote

07-21-2019 , 10:34 PM

#50350

dylance

journeyman

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 223

Where do you guys try to set up a first date with someone that doesn't live close to you?

I just started online dating again and have been prioritizing chicks that live close to me which makes it easy for both of us to meet somewhere local. In the past, if someone was far I would find a place halfway between both of us. Currently trying to keep things casual, which is new for me, and don't wanna put in the effort/time to pick a place in a neighborhood I'm not familiar with and deal with traveling there. It also does feel like a bit of a waste to not give something a chance just because someone lives 8+ miles from me.

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