They are creepy but also extremely funny. I'm half tempted to buy one for a friend at Christmas. I'm pretty sure he would find it hilarious.

Food for thought. This used to be on the official OKC blog until they merged with the pay sites:

http://static.izs.me/why-you-should-...ne-dating.html

I'm a huge fan of quantity over quality in online dating; when I did it I probably swiped right on 40-50% of girls, even though probably less than 5% have enough compatibility with me that I'd actually consider dating them exclusively. Gotta get out there and turn profiles into real people, and see who you like. When you meet in person, it should be pretty easy to figure out who's looking for a real relationship and who just wants to hook up. Good luck!

He wasn’t a good listener. He rambled on so much that I had a hard time getting a word in. He even mentioned my age (which he go wrong), so I figured he wouldn’t pay too much attention to my excuse. Although I prefer older men, it doesn’t stop me from dating someone younger than me.
Lol. So are dildos but they serve their purpose

A guy who talks to much on a date apparently doesn't fundamentally understand women IMO

Thank you Joe. That was very informative. I think I’ll try out bumble and OKC after I take some more quality pics.
In retrospect, I’m surprised to know that this wasn’t his first date ever. I only know it wasn’t because he told me of his own volition that all the children in his family have been married, except he was the only one that didn’t have any babies. I didn’t pry because I just met this guy. Then he added that his previous wife was on a visa and it would be a lot easier for her to gain citizenship if she got married

This date was cringeworthy from the start. He first started by asking me about my ex in a very weird way. I changed the subject to his job. He told me he hated it and was considering giving his 2 weeks. He said he regretted not having used his “diploma” after graduating 3 years ago. But he has done some freelance work setting up websites for cam girls (WTF). I mentioned that I liked working in a lab because I no longer had to deal with customer service. His response was that he wouldn’t want to work as food server (he works in a kitchen) because image was so important. He said it would be awful on days like today when his face was red and burning from dry shaving, and maybe something about pimples and braces. When I asked him about his hobbies, he said he liked doing everything. I asked what that meant and his one example was that he sometimes went for a drive around town for an hour.

There were lots of quiet moments, which is very unnatural for me. I’m pretty chatty and I love getting to know people but I no longer had any desire to share information about myself. He spent a lot of time looking out the window and rambling. It felt like a really bad job interview. In the end he gave me a hug which I did not reciprocate. I thought we were done, but he followed me out to the parking lot and asked for a second date which I had to decline.

I feel a little awful sharing the highlights of the worst parts of the date but maybe there’s a lesson to be learned here.

krunic: lol @ strip club, hooker, etc. Go have an awkward first kiss/sex/etc like most all of us had. So what if you're a little older. If you have trouble getting past that stuff on your own, a sex therapist might not be a bad idea. I'm sure there are good ones out there who have worked with people dealing with issues/experiences similar to yours.

jfc: dating sites are like any other marketplace. It's all about critical mass. So free generally wins, with premium features available to make the user experience better for those willing to pay. I don't think you'll find a better experience on some $20/mo or whatever pay site. There are high-end matchmakers that can definitely provide a very high quality experience, but that's a whole different thing.

How old was he?

Lesson is to learn how to talk to people, let alone women.

El D, I think you should consider a career in high-end matchmaking.

He’s 28. He believes he’s getting too old and wants to have his first child in 2 years. He’d liked to have a girl first because they’re easier to raise, even as teenagers.

Thank you for these details. It’s very entertaining and enjoyable. Plus maybe there are people here who can learn not to do those things, or how to gracefully deal with those things.

Quite a winner you picked there, jfc!

Either guys are way ****in' weirder on dates than girls (ok, that's likely) or like attracts like to some degree (certainly the case with MLYLT's "dates"). Cuz I've had tons of 1st dates, and obviously some of them were bad, but noone I've met who was just flat out a weirdo. I don't even do that much vetting, but I think a scan of a profile and a few messages back and forth should be enough to weed out the crazies if you really want to.

don't take our lawd's name in vain please.

I'm going to generalise a little here, but I think girls tend to be single more because they are far too picky, whereas guys who are single tend to be so as they have some critical flaw.

I've had one girl out of about 50 who was outright weird (and the signs were there in advance, I just ignored them).

Meanwhile pretty much every girl I've dated has a bunch of horror stories about online dating.

Those statements seem to contradict though. If a bunch of guys are weirdos, then it's a good idea to be picky.

I tend to agree though that as a guy, if you can identify and work on a lot of your flaws, and figure out how the dating game works, you can do shockingly well.

it's not really the same thing, at least in the context I'm talking about.

There is a difference between using a bit of common sense and filtering for people who are weird, and lacking the self-awareness to realise you are over-estimating your value in the dating pool.

Yah, for better or worse, it is far, far easier for guys to get an accurate idea of their value in the dating marketplace. Low value women won't have much idea because even they will still have droves of guys fawning over them. It's hard for humans to take a good, hard look at themselves and identify flaws so it's easier for these women to just say to themselves "lol men" than to realize that the reason they aren't attracting any guys for a LTR is that they are aiming way too high. Guys on the other hand, can realize if they're not getting dates that they need to fix something and fast, or just live in denial and continue to have mediocre results.

I think getting a pro would go a long way toward getting you over your anxiety and helping you become more confident and prepared for online dating. It's practice being intimate and having flirty conversation with someone who won't be judging you, who you don't have to worry about making like you. And I'm not saying just one time, but until you feel ready to date.

Yeah, I think men have it slightly easier in online dating. As much as it sucks to have to send 10 messages to get 1 response or not get a second date when you feel you've probably done enough to get one, it must really suck to become emotionally invested in someone when all they are doing is sleeping with you until they can find someone better.

I totally got the vibe that he was a dork, but I agreed to coffee since he mentioned he was a sous chef and food is my top interest. This was more of an experimental date to see if I’m being too picky. I now think I’m better off being picky. I want someone that is clever, outgoing, confident, and respectful. Most of the men on this app seem really dumb, and I only have so much patience for that.

Get in line honey...get in line.

Perhaps that's telling of their "success" on other more popular sites....

Or if my dates are to believed....just common as f

Jellyfishcake,

Lol, you should read some threads on the okcupid subreddit. Since you just encapsulated 85% of the posts there.

Oh. Sorry for saying that. But yeah. Your first date post was pretty typical.

Actually it's just the opposite. Men have it much harder online than women. Studies have shown this. There is a good study done on OKC, that shows that the women who perform the best are the ones who message first (put in the effort) across all ages. The problem that women have is that they want the man to message first and take charge. They put in minimal effort and then complain that there are no good men.

If you are a hot girl you have it easy because you have plenty of men messaging you. If you are an ugly girl, well unfortunately you are going to have to put in a bit more effort, but there will be some guys who will be interested in you.

If you are an attractive man, well you still have to be messaging first, its just that your success rate will be higher.

Women state that getting lots of messages is pointless when they almost all come from putzes.

The 'getting lots of useless messages' vs. 'getting no replies' debate is real, and will never end.

What I wanna know is why I have to initiate a bazillion conversations with original material just to get ignored anyway.

LIKE WHY BOTHER PEOPLE

WHY

BOTHER

FAT GUY LITTLE COAT

Guys can easily just game the system and send out a decent canned message. There's no way I'm wasting my time crafting an individual message for every girl I'm interested in when the response rate is only gonna be marginally higher.

The main advantage for guys is that when a woman does message first/respond, there's normally genuine interest there whereas most guys on the site are spamming every female account, so you have to invest more time and effort (sometimes even several dates) to figure out if the guy is actually interested in you or is just looking for someone to sleep with.