Meh... sounds like an online dating version of that philosophical thought experiment about a tree falling in a forest:

If an OKC date pukes, passes out in bed, gets date raped and her male roommate says it was okay, does it make it a rape?

Deep thoughts.

How can we comment on whether it was sexual assault without knowing her previous sexual history and how short her skirt was?!

Lol this discussion. Great TR ATF, some people ....

What kind of date spots/activities have you had success with when dating someone really self-conscious/introverted? So far we've been to a few quiet bars, night walks in the park and dinner. She's far more relaxed/talkative/physically affectionate when it's just us and sort of freezes up a bit when a group of people roll up near us. I don't take it as her being embarrassed to be seen with me fwiw.

Mini golf, gokart , bowling

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Walks in the park/beach/whatever are good. Avoid bars. Cooking at home is one I've had success with with that type of girl in the past too.

wait, she loved being date-raped? (not saying that's what happened)
That might be a sign or something.

This is one of those cautionary tales IMO,it went well for ATF,this time.

But as he initially described it,if she for some reason changes her mind afterwards...
(I'm saying like today she talks about it to a friend and her friend says"you got raped"
and ATF doesn't want to see her again,how's it gonna look to strangers,the police,a jury, if this gal wants to seek revenge for whatever reasons?)
As described,it's not looking good for ATF.

Especially since he's amended his story several times.

I'm not saying he's rapey,but this episode was definitely not normal to most people.
And he didn't have to be there,to me,once she pukes and passes out,go home.
It saves so much speculation.

I can never imagine having sex on a first date after someone has thrown up, like that should end the date and you can pick up on date 2

@longmissedblind
She probably thought it was hilarious that a bunch of people would be so quick to draw those extreme conclusions (which it is).

@eeyorefora
I've been out of it for a while but I can't remember a single ATF TR that other people would consider normal (not hating).

Cannot understand how desperate you'd have to be and how little you think of yourself to go in there and have sex with that girl. Grow up, stop justifying your awful behavior in the most pathetic ways. Anybody decent human just gets a cab home and checks on how she is the next day!

Just to put this issue to rest..

Me: "My understanding of the situation is [BFF] made sure that you were cool with me staying. Am I right about that?"

Her: "Definitely! I'm glad you stayed. And I'm glad I didn't **** it up with you. I like you."

Are you squares happy? She's concerned about how I perceive her on account of she becoming sick and passing out. If you kids really have so much trouble reading a woman's true intention and wants in the moment then I think it's probably best that you go gay.

Ya. I can't wrap my mind around this at all. Not to mention all the other creepy stuff. Just don't understand how you get to the creepy stuff point given she has puked.

But think how bad it could have ended for you. Do you not understand that?

You can't be serious. Desperate? At this point I can arrange some pretty kinky sexual situations with a number of women.

Go there and have sex with that girl? She's a ****ing grown woman and she asked that I go there. She also initiated the sex. What the **** is wrong with your reading comprehension man? We had a great date, totally vibed, and openly shared that we liked one another and were attracted to each other. Are you by chance a virgin?

lol

Yes, I understand. Which is why I offered to leave. Which is also why I made sure that everything was cool with her via her BFF acting as a liason. Which is also why I let her BFF essentially vet me for the entire night and for two hours at their crib. This isn't that complicated. Anyone that can actually read other human beings would have made the same choice, unless they're gay or lack self-confidence. I told her at some point in the date when we were heavily flirting and making out that I was going to make her beg for the D. That's exactly what I did.

She distrusted you enough that she brought a bouncer, and then went to puke-ass drunk in the same evening, and said bouncer gave the thumbs up? This ain't her first rodeo, buckeroo. The BFF must be really accustomed to this. Creepy.

Is this your attempt at slut shaming her ? Seems unnecessary.

ATF,

Original story:

"He's ready to retire and I ask him "If you're me what do you do? UBER home? Sleep in my car? Or do you think its cool if I just crash in her bed?" After some deliberation he says it's cool if I crash with her and to just poke her."

New story:

"My understanding of the situation is [BFF] made sure that you were cool with me staying. Am I right about that?"

Surely you can see how those don't read as implying the same things happened?

Also, does "poke" in quote 1 mean "have sex with," or "prod so she knows you're in the bed/makes space for you"? On first read I assumed the latter, but it seems like others believed you meant the former, and that that's what you were trying to say too.

The "bouncer" is a standard play on her part due to finding herself in ****ty dates with knuckle-draggers much like yourself. Said bouncer didn't give the thumbs up, said bouncer was a liason between her and I. She gave the thumbs up.

She and I are still trying to determine why she got sick. She didn't drink much at all.

This is boring anyways. I actually really like this woman and immediately got great vibes from her. Regardless of whether there was sexytime or not, there would have been a second date. Which is occurring tomorrow anyway.

This is a fair point. I sacrificed clarity in the TR because I was dead tired from an all night thru morning sexathon.

As to your latter question, I interpreted "poke" as in if she's asleep nudge her to let her know you're there. When I went into her bedroom she wasn't asleep. So we instead poked. All night.

ATF,

Were you a late bloomer who didn't have much sex in hs/college/20s? Or were you maybe married or something?

And yet you get yourself into this mess and spend your time justifying something that's just awful decision making on your part. Not that I'm surprised.

It's almost like people believe everything they read on the internet.