+1

Ex and I messaged for about 3 hours nonstop last night. Started out with her contacting me saying something about submitting a job application and buying a suit yesterday, and how upcoming graduation is getting real. Seems odd to me that she thinks of me to message about this when she has a boyfriend.

The conversation diverted greatly from there to a bunch of random topics including her losing 15 lbs and some of my dating experiences. At one point we were talking about Tinder and how she can't take it seriously. I said something about her co workers being on there and she says they have BFs. I definitely saw the one girl on there in spring and this fall. She says the BF knows and she does it to waste time at work. That sounds like a ****ed up scenario!

She messaged me today saying sorry, she was drinking wine last night and the conversation went deeper than she anticipated. I interpret this to be a subtle "a line was crossed last night and it won't happen again."

Anyway, drinks lined up for Saturday and Sunday w/ Match girl and IRL acquaintance. I'm getting to be such an old that I avoid weekday dates lol.

Pretty sure you interpreted that wrongly LT.

That's why I post here. To see what others think.

All I know is the last time I had an ex reach out to me like that it was mainly because she wanted the D. She knows I like tennis and sort of knows how to play, so she suggested we play one weekend. The tennis, sometimes followed by lunch, then awesome sex routine lasted for a little over a month. It was fun.

She wasn't in a relationship though so it's not entirely the same situation.

Just for a little more background: I hit her up a few weeks ago to apologize for being a dick to her in May. I apologized and we did the high level catch up (job, school, work) for first time since May. Cool.

A week or two ago she hits me up saying she saw all my friends at the bar and was shocked I wasn't there. How she misses my friends and it was good to see them. A bit overly sentimental to me, but that's her personality.

A few random messages in between then and last night including me trying to figure out if one crazy on Tinder was her coworker. She is co worker and confirmed she's crazy as I suspected.

Yeah that was what i was thinking as well.

She was drinking, and thinking about stuff and then thought of you and old feelings came back then woke up sober and kinda regretted it

She is def the type of person that would feel regret about a deeper conversation with an ex. Only dates one person at a time. Good girl for sure. She is socially smart enough to leave a subtle message and knows I would read deeper into the message if that's what she wanted me to do. I don't expect to hear from her again in the near future, which is cool. Now don't get me wrong, if she booty called me I would in a heartbeat.

Saw swimming girl in pool this morning, we had the lane to ourselves, had the perfect chance to say something when she was stopped in the shallow end. I even had the opener ready, 'Hey, did I see you in the coffee shop round the corner the other week?' (pretty sure I did), seguing into standard chit chat 'You ever had their almond croissants LOLZ?, then maybe a bit on where she works and bars round there. Anyway she didn't make eye contact when we went past each other this time so I pussied out again.

GAWDAMMIT
Next time I swear. We're in the same lane on a quiet Friday, or maybe Tuesday it'll be 'Wanna race?'

Elsewhere, 4th date wanted to go and see a film rather than dinner at mine, prob gonna be ending this one, not quite feeling it.
Promising 2nd sushi date for Wednesday with cute irish girl and cute 1st date for Thursday with skiing in common wheee
got flaked on for a first date last night
Tuesday though - let's race

TR with Bobbo and TrainStationGirl.

Met up with TSG at the, well, train station bar, had a few rounds (TSG paid), and bounced to the bar where I met the girl I set up with Bobbo. Had a few rounds there (I paid) and we took an Uber to Bobbo's crib...where we asked the driver if he was cool if we banged in his car, he said yes at first and we started going at it but when he noticed we were serious, he then said no, that the next passenger may not like it.

Arrived at Bobbo's and he came down to greet us and we walked to store to pick up some wine and TSG bought like 70 bucks worth of makeup (TSG paid). We chilled at Bobbo's for like 45 minutes and had a few drinks as TSG put on makeup, she would occasionally pop out of the bathroom and mouth to me "I want to **** you". We kinda picked apart Bobbo's game but I hope it came off as brainstorming / advice opposed to criticism, because our intentions were good.

We walked to some bar and had drinks and ordered some food. I talked about online dating with this couple next to me who had met on eharmony and were together for 6 years. I chatted up a table of two guys and two girls because the dudes did not seem interested in the girls. It didn't go very far. Eventually I decide to talk to this older dude sitting by himself in the corner of the bar. At this point Bobbo and TSG are having a convo. Eventually I rejoin B and T and start fingering TSG under the bar. She whispers in my ear that if we're going to bang we should leave now. So we kinda abruptly wrap it up (sorry Bobbo!) and decide to take an Uber back to her place. Outside the bar the older dude was standing there and he says...in super slurry voice... that he's gay and that he thought I was hitting on him lol. Turns out he gives lectures or something on economics at Northwestern and I told him that that is in my wheelhouse and try to exchange numbers with him but he says he doesn't text, only email, so I give him my email.

We get back to TSG and instantly start banging. At some point she says she's trying to figure out what I want from her besides sex. Anyways we go at it for a few hours. I eventually feel it and tell her I want to cum on her face. She's down with it but I'm not a porn star so my timing is off and I just release it all over her body. We continue some more then eventually crash. We wake up and bang more and then head to brunch, which she demanded to pay for but I beat her to the check. She walks me to the train, stays there with me until it arrives, and we part ways.

I'm not sure what TSG wants out of this, if anything more than the D. She tells me I'm hot, confident and that my dick feels so good. She did ask me if the age difference is a problem and I said no, and I was honest because she acts a lot older than her age and while she's not perfect, it's awesome banging a much younger, sexually forward female. At some point parameters on the relationship will need to be established (FWB?, dating?, just a period of casual sex? etc.). Additionally, I did lunch with SG 1.0 on Thursday... she said she wants to be friends... and I basically said I'm okay with a friendship if it includes benefits. She responded with, "what are the benefits." I said, "the benefits are I get to bone you whenever I want." She didn't say no.

Fingering in a bar without kids present? Our little atf is maturing

Here's TSG's take on Bobbo:

She called him a super nice guy but, from a dating perspective, he's trying too hard. She suggested that he be confident in himself and not try to much to impress women. I agree. My success increased when I stopped trying to be the idealized version of myself and instead was just myself. Apparently there is something alluring and attractive about men who "own" their actions, thoughts and decisions. I'm a problem drinker 18 months removed from a 15 year failed relationship, I participate on an online dating thread, I blog about my dates, my neighbor reported me as a sexual predator, I got hit by a train and had 3 days of unapproved absences but kept my gig, I like to ****...I tell my story to every broad I meet and being completely open and honest about myself has worked. While I don't always get laid, I've been able to dial up the physical intimacy with every one of my dates since the beginning of the year and have come out the other side with, at best, some great sex and, at worst, friendships with cool, attractive women.

I have a dinner date in Los Gatos Monday night during my work trip, and a hike along the river thing next Sunday afternoon with a local.

Back in the saddle again.

ATF,

You got hit by a train?

This is incorrect. Not saying it's a good move, just that it has nothing to do with lack of confidence.

I'm guessing drunkenly dicking around on a platform, and how he wound up with his arm in a cast. But I'm just playing Clue here.

ATF is going to ATF!

Just broke off with fourth date girl, shouldn't have gone on the date in the first place but whatever. I would say I'm down to two on the roster but the girl who agreed to a first date on thursday suddenly went quiet when i asked for her number. So one second date on Wednesday and that's it, until I schedule more tomorrow. I have joined POF once more though, hope I don't get ejected for no reason again.

In this game if you're looking for a LTR I find it's very important to have as many options on the table as possible no matter how well you think you are doing with a given girl, as finding out things aren't working out with a girl can be very frustrating and/or hit your confidence. there's no confidence boost like having several backup girls.

Why were you reported as a sexual predator?

Well, I didn't do anything predatory so I don't think so. Most people I tell don't believe me as everyone seems to think you don't get banned on POF for anything, they seemed to get stricter at some point last year tho

I get banned every time I make a new account and idk y

Cit is close. I drunkenly flicked a smoke in front of the train at the last second and, with lower reactions times, the train hit my arm. I had a full cast, surgery including a metal plate put in my wrist, and I'm out like $4K. I used the occasion - and subsequent time off - to completely change my mental approach to alcohol.

I was banging this yoga instructor in my building. Things got too rough one night and she attacked me and later reported me as a sexual predator to the condo board. I've spoken with the condo chairman and he told me about how this woman has abnormal sensitivities to men.

I was asking atf.

Back from a good first date. There was a new place with a rooftop I have been wanting to check out so we grabbed drinks there. Perfect weather. She is ridic intelligent, goofy, and witty and we have a lot in common. At one point she's showing me photos on her phone and she has a LOL_Tinder notification on her phone. I like the fact she doesn't clear the notification and just does not care if I see it.

We have a couple drinks and the sun goes down so it's getting cold. I suggest dinner at a new location since date is going well. Dinner goes well and we part ways. At different times in the date she mentioned things she wants to show me some time and after dinner she is really honest and said it was great and to contact her. Hug but I didn't go in for the kiss. Didn't feel right for some reason at that moment. It's usually rare for me to go for a first date smooch.

Felt good to have a great first date after a few struggles the past few weeks. We are going for a hike tomorrow and whatever happens after that. I was going for the hike with or without her so shipped her an invitation to join.

Trying a new approach with this one and going to be really straight forward and communicative about what I want. Previous relationships ultimately weren't good in the communication department. Not bad communication, but just lacking the open, honest dialogue I value.

Need to finalize time for drinks tomorrow night with IRL mutual friend after the hike.

Nice, LT. Good luck man.

I just got off the phone with, well, crazy nympho.

I was next on the 1/3 NL list at the local casino, a text comes from her, how are you?

I scratched off the list and headed to the car.

She has dropped out of okcupid, quit drinking, and joined a werewolf meetup group, where she is a sort of den mother to the geeks.

We're going to be friends. I'm surprised at how glad I am she got in touch, and I got closure on that very weird episode.

lol at Chip still communicating with "crazy nympho".