Online dating thread - Page 1206 - Other Topics Forum - Discuss Pop Culture, Arts and Entertainment

For those using tinder...

Roughly how many exchanges before you ask to meet up? I've had a few good exchanges recently that went silent after asking to meet up for a drink. Just wondering if it's variance or I'm asking too early.

its not uncommon, tinder is a great way for someone to get quick attention and feel good. the whole point of tinder is to meet up, if that doesnt happen (or at least get a #) in somewhere between 5-10 messages, i just move on

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08-04-2014 , 01:16 PM

#30127

DontDoItPls

veteran

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 2,987

Definitely, that's why I'm asking them out after 3/4 messages so I don't waste my time if they're only after attention. You mentioned 5-10msgs tho, so I guess I might be going in for the kill too early at 3-4.

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08-04-2014 , 01:23 PM

#30128

movieman2g

Script*****

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 16,938

eh, i wouldnt think of it as much as "by message 4 im no matter what asking her out", since it still needs to feel natural. but by the 4-6th message im looking for a way to say "we should continue this over a drink" or something.

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08-04-2014 , 01:28 PM

#30129

loK2thabrain

Tiger > Jack

Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 23,203

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCuster_911

I can't imagine tinder being a huge time commitment for anyone, if it is you are doing it wrong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DontDoItPls

+1. Takes a lot more effort/time commitment to exchange messages on dating sites and you still get plenty of flakes/radio silence there was well.

I've been following the same ask out after 3/4 message rule on tinder, which was why I'm asking.

Fair enough. I guess I've been looking at it the wrong way.

Either way tho looks like I'm on the exclusive train with this girl I've been dating for a few months now. Will try tinder when this inevitably goes south.

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08-04-2014 , 03:05 PM

#30130

Mrlooker

centurion

Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 106

I usually wait longer on Tinder than on POF to ask out. Tinder is a lot more unknowns so need to get girl bit more comfortable.

Girls on tinder will reply more often than on POF, but will also flake during a convo much more often than POF from my experience.

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08-04-2014 , 03:25 PM

#30131

MyrnaFTW

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 7,649

jesus, I just found tinderfessions and I have been missing out.. is half this stuff true..

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08-04-2014 , 05:03 PM

#30132

TheChamp11

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 6,953

Nope

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08-04-2014 , 05:28 PM

#30133

Mrlooker

centurion

Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 106

I never read things like tinderfessions as it makes it feel like everyone is having a crazier life than you. Sure a lot of it is exaggerated or straight up lies.

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08-04-2014 , 07:14 PM

#30134

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenSmoke85

I just had the most akward conversation ever.

Set up a date with a girl for tomorrow she wanted me to call her and finalize details. I call her and tell her the plan I am busy till about 1:30 and will meet her for gelato and have until 3:00.

She: ohhhh I was planning on hanging out longer

me: lol how much ice cream do you think we were going to have
she: I just thought we'd do something else too like walk
me:well like I said I have an hour and a half I think thats more than enough time to hang out
she: I think i'd rather have more time than be so rushed. call me when you are able to hang out for longer, I don't think its long enough.
me: lol okay.

I think this interaction totally made me want nothing to do with this girl as she seems incredibly inflexible and really akward about everything. I'm mind blown she thinks and hour and a half isn't enough time for a first date of basically coffee. Anyone deal w someone wanting "more time" when setting up a first date.

1 1/2 hrs is plenty of time for a first date. What she is really saying is call me when you don't want to be cheap, and take me out to dinner. Did you suggest ice cream?
You saying that it has to end at 3:00 seems like an escape plan.

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08-04-2014 , 07:42 PM

#30135

capone0

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 43,152

Both parties should have an escape plan but it shouldn't be explicitly mentioned until the date.

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08-04-2014 , 08:53 PM

#30136

DontDoItPls

veteran

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 2,987

I've had a bunch of girls flake on me/go radio silent recently, so I'm down to only 2 prospects and decided to get back on the OKC message game tonight. Some girl I messaged around 4:30pm has no joke visited my profile at least 5 times that I've noticed while being on/off OKC messaging/responding over the last few hours. It's kind of amusing.

FWIW been having success opening simply with something along the lines of "It's crazy to think we're already in August and summer is almost over! What's been the highlight of your summer so far?"

**Edit: The girl that kept visiting my profile finally responded lol

Last edited by DontDoItPls; 08-04-2014 at 09:16 PM.

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08-04-2014 , 10:08 PM

#30137

GreenSmoke85

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 4,427

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime

Yea you're wrong. She said she was hoping we would go for a walk. My error was telling her my time constraints before the date. (as others have pointed out)

I'm not cheap at all but if the girl is thinking like that for a first date she can gfh I would hate her anyways.

Set up date tongiht with another girl to get yogurt, I rarely do non drinking dates we will see how this one goes. I'll make sure she doesn't pile on the toppings in honor of meloveyoubongtime

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08-05-2014 , 12:20 AM

#30138

CCuster_911

You Only Live Once

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 24,435

Asked for a girls number of okc and when she gave it to me she gave me her first and last name. Is that weird? It seemed abnormal to me. Usually I just get a first. Maybe not though.

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08-05-2014 , 12:23 AM

#30139

Duke0424

self-banned

Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 13,362

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCuster_911

Asked for a girls number of okc and when she gave it to me she gave me her first and last name. Is that weird? It seemed abnormal to me. Usually I just get a first. Maybe not though.

Maybe she wanted to be called her first and last name like bob vance

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08-05-2014 , 02:20 AM

#30140

ChipWrecked

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 13,006

she wants your f/l so she can Google you

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08-05-2014 , 04:03 AM

#30141

Mrlooker

centurion

Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 106

Putting a girls number into facebook is a way to find a profile if you having trouble.

Also if you search for a girl and her name is common, but she comes up as a top result, this means she had stalked you already

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08-05-2014 , 07:30 AM

#30142

cannabusto

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,876

Yes it's weird and I wouldn't give her my last name.

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08-05-2014 , 07:47 AM

#30143

Tuma

Worships Amon-Ra

Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 16,767

buncha chicks put 'sub' or 'im a sub' near the top of their okc profiles.

what the **** does this mean? i assume its an abbrev. for submissive. is it some sort roleplay attribute? why are people coy about this?

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08-05-2014 , 07:49 AM

#30144

Fabian

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,201

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Submissive_(BDSM)

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08-05-2014 , 07:53 AM

#30145

Tuma

Worships Amon-Ra

Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 16,767

greensmoke,

you were pretty nitty in your receptiveness and demonstration in that phone call. nothing about that paraphrase suggests she's inflexible or awkward. she was hoping to spend an afternoon with you, and ya laughed in her face. oh well.

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08-05-2014 , 07:55 AM

#30146

All-inMcLovin

Wholesome Mod

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 51,169

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuma

People like to be coy about sex things on the internet.

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08-05-2014 , 08:01 AM

#30147

Tuma

Worships Amon-Ra

Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 16,767

i keep forgetting that some people like being tied up and flogged with actual whips. one of the girls who had 'sub' put that she's never been on a date before...interesting.

i'm curious if anyone itt has experience meeting BDSM folks from the internet and if any crazy **** went down?