In these family dinners who picks the dishes people are eating?

At poker night I go to people would always ask for bbq wings but no one would eat them. Seems like something similar happens every time at a family style place. Some people suck at ordering or people say they want stuff that isn't very good.

1. The person who knows more than everyone else. This is common when you're eating at an ethnic or specialty place and one person has a lot more experience than everyone else. Usually this still involves some discussion about what people like or want to try.

2. Everyone picks one dish, but you talk about it to make sure that you're getting dishes that make sense together and to make sure everybody is ok with the majority of the dishes.

3. Some combination of 1 and 2.

Pwns,

Please see post #532. I'm not sure how many times I can tell you that separate checks are simply not customary anywhere that I dine, nor is it customary with any of the people, or groups of people, that I regularly eat with.

I have absolutely no problem with separate checks in theory, it is simply not common practice in my experience. I'm sure that this is mostly a regional thing, and to a lessor extent an age thing.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves at restaurants. The servers should know exactly what they're bringing out.

We all agree that if you want to split things by what everyone ordered then separate checks are superior right?

Also I wasn't talking about what is customary just what makes more sense!

Given that guys story about college it sounds like people have so many bad experiences trying to split one bill evenly that they end up giving up and getting one bill and splitting it equally, which is completely missing what was the problem!!

Especially when auctioning things off. We had to play a logic game to figure out where everything went.

Pwns,

It also just occurred to me that things like wine, appetizers, large sized sides for the table, and desserts could actually wind up bringing just as much if not more disparity between what people ate and what they wind up paying with separate checks in comparison to an even chop.

I certainly don't want to have a discussion about whose bill to put the nachos on, nor do I want to be handing singles across the table to square up with the guy who wound up being billed for them.

I'm willing to pay for comfort and convenience with regard to paying the check at the end of a nice meal, and since I'm not yet baller enough to pick up thousand dollar tabs, the even chop is the best option.

pwns: I don't think anyone is arguing against separate checks being a good option when people are concerned about money. Brock's example was a perfect description of my college or early post-college big group dinner experience. Edit: and what brock said in the post right above this one.

micro: Definitely. And in my experience, what you adjust for gets bigger and bigger as you get older. Like, in my group there was a time when "let me toss in an extra $10 for the extra drink I had" was a thing, and now that wouldn't even be considered, but if someone got something way more expensive (like, say everyone is having $20 pasta and they get the $60 surf-and-turf) they will try to put in more (and depending on the group that is either accepted or not).

pwns: Generally whoever knows the place best and/or is best at ordering. It's not hard. Edit: and what jj said.

Hypothetically, provided that apps, bottles, sides, and dessert could be fairly accounted for with no extra discussion, then YES. I agree with you.

Well, we were on different pages then. I was speaking from personal experience only.

I think arguing the efficacy/equitability of separate checks is kinda missing the point and trying to shoehorn rigid logic into a place it doesn't really belong. There's nothing particularly logical about going out to dinner with friends and family. Communal dining is about forming and maintaining social bonds. If, at the end of that event, you make a big fuss about a perfectly fair and efficient settling of accounts you're undermining the whole point of getting together in the first place.

All the silly rituals we do when the bill comes matter. They serve to further reinforce the good will that is supposed to underlie why we get together in the first place, and having a single bill where everybody makes a grand showing of being generous and good-natured and not worried about the small change is very effective at that.

This just goes to show that its really about the people and not really how the bill is split up.

When separate checks is standard and you're with a group of non-nits shared things just go with whoever is sort of responsible for it. So if one person just orders an app they want they'll pay for it all even though it's probably partly shared with the table. If two people decide to split an app the the app gets split on the bill (again, most POS software around here handles this easily now).

Another example might be a pitcher of beer. If two people buy a pitcher of beer and someone comes in later they'll be offered a glass but usually its just the first two people splitting the cost.

Now I feel like I'm being called a nit...

I'm confused by this food auction thing, Suzzer. What's that about?

I'm confused too, but I want to guess it's when the server doesn't know who got what and just says "now, who got the.....?" for every dish.

Brocktoon, I wasn't calling you a nit.

Just pointing out that its the makeup of your group that dominates nittery / not nittery and not as much about how many bills arrive at the end. A good group of people will make any billing method relatively painless and simple. A ****ty group of people will make any billing method annoying and nitty.

Good post zikzak.

Amen.

Auctioned off means they don't know which seat the food goes to. IE - "Who had the soft tacos with avocado?" - which were actually tacos al carbon with avocado and so were mis-directed to someone who had ordered soft tacos but wasn't sure if they come with avocado automatically. Luckily we're all family and no one cared if someone accidentally nibbled off the wrong plate.

It's tough with a long table of 16 when all drinks and food is auctioned off like this.

fyp

Okay that makes sense. I was thinking it was actually an auction lol

That's the server term for not knowing which seat food goes to.

Suzzer,

You're ignoring me as much as a Red Lobster waiter when I order endless shrimp!

I saw that I had already answered your post. Was there something else?

Not really. I just wanted credit for getting the auction thing right (had never heard of it) before you posted the answer.

sounds about right

And that's a terribly stupid assumption. Some people like things that cost more and others like things that cost less. That never balances out.

Personally, I almost never order any drink other than water with dinner. How will that ever balance out with someone who always does? I have friends who will order and eat 20+ wings while I never eat more than 10. How will that ever balance out? The idea that things will balance out is clear self-deception on the parts of those who are usually on the upper side.