yeah becuase unlike that OP, this OP didnt really seem to haveit coming and didnt make mistakes after mistakes on purpose

Name checks out just fine



Think of how much worse she'll seem when her looks fade. Consider yourself lucky you got out before she get's really bitter and vindictive.

You should have posted about the Christmas fiasco months ago so you could get advice from everyone here, act on that advice, and avoid the current Big City fiasco.

What kind of douche bag advice is this?

"You should have acted on the problem previously, then you wouldn't have a problem now!"

It blows my mind you want to give this woman a penny of your money, what has she done to deserve anything? Has she helped pay the mortgage? She lied and cheated on you. I get you stayed a lot longer than you should have, but giving her half the house is just stupid. If you guys are married, she will not be cool with any financial arrangement you think of, she will want it all, even if you aren't married she will not be cool with any arrangement you come up with, she will want it all.

The girl is not yours and you haven't been together long enough to be a father to her in the long term sense. Don't pay for anything and def don't put anything in writing. She will be fine and move on soon enough.

Whoooooooosh!

You're really bad at this whole internet thing

Sad story

Agree don't give this b*tch anything you don't legally have to she was turning you into a cuck.

As for the daughter.....I would think before you start anything like a regular payment to a fund etc.

Imagine 6months or a year from now you meet someone new.
Paying for some exes child would only cause grief in the new relationship at some point.Just cut all ties the moment u drive off in the removal truck.

I wanted to say something about the kid, but I wasn't sure what to say. It's hard to give advice not knowing them, but it seems like a difficult situation to try to have a relationship - even giving presents - to a 9 year old who is not your child without having a good relationship with the mother (which you shouldn't have).

Leaving pierre out of the beginning of the story reveals you kind of knew the answer to your own question.

Do not ship her a single unnecessary dollar. Each dollar you send her reduces her respect for you. She's treated you like a giant pussy and handing her any money will just confirm to her woman voice that she was correct for doing so. Her life should suck without you. She's made her bed, let her lie in it.

Most definitely do not put any money in a college fund. Keep the money under your own control and if you decide in 10 years to give it to the kid then do so. It'll be a grand gesture that shows that you still care or whatever instead of money taken for granted.

Also, my reads continue to be spot on.

Really this would have been a good solution but i guess Pierre was already in USA for Thanksgiving and this summer so they're on a Home-Away alternating schedule. DO NOT GIVE HER ANOTHER DOLLAR! Money is fungible and ultimately any dollars you give her are gonna end up in the Go Fuuck Pierre Fund.

Probably nailed this too imo. Standard pharmacist read.


People were arguing with me saying that she wasn't going to bang some guy because she was taking her daughter. Which...She took her daughter to another continent over Christmas to bang some guy! The little girl spent Christmas in a strange country alone while mom was bedridden with 'strep and a fever'. My gawd, the level of selfishness. You almost married this woman! Bullet dodged.

LOL my name is Dale too. Sir you have really low self esteem or you wouldn't be in this mess.

Repeat after me, " I am worthy of the very best in life".



Now repeat that a million times in your head as a mantra until it's your new default operating system. It's time to rewire your brain and get that crappy software out. You don't need another trashy chick in your life.

It's not really that I have low self-esteem per se. As I was telling my buddy Friday night, I grew up with a BPD mother. You are conditioned to be co-dependent. To always think of that other person before yourself. It's a tendency I've had my entire life. I've done enough work and self-reflection to be emotionally self-aware enough to know I have to be vigilant about this emotional trait.

Anyway, going out Friday night was a pretty good release for me.

Just to clarify a few things, I am not going to sign on to any kind of legal support agreement. The house is in both of our names 50/50. I might buy Little Girl a bedroom set for Christmas, etc. You guys are right that it's very likely the situation evolves and I slowly leave the picture. On the other hand just disappearing and saying peace out seems overly cruel to a 9yo who sees me as Dad. We'll see how it plays out.

We talked yesterday. The only big things I thought we might both want are our bed and the washer and dryer. I told her she could keep both. I'll take the lawn equipment, garage stuff, etc. The 529 is actually in my name with Little Girl as beneficiary. I will transfer that to ex-gf as owner. I will not continue to deposit money into it but I likely will open a new account for her. It's a trivial amount and will some day be a "grand gesture" as someone suggested.

Next step is to have a realtor come out in the next week or two and go from there.

And thanks everyone for your support. As I said, I knew better to let this go on so long. It's been cathartic and clarifying to have a place to bring my thoughts together and get a line check, so to speak. I appreciate it.

The house is not automatically "50/50" just because you're both on the deed. Depends on the state; consult a lawyer. Make her pay for that **** you're giving her. She's never going to let you have a good relationship with the daughter so don't cave in hopes of that. DO NOT TRANSFER THE 529 TO HER JESUS ****ING CHRIST.

It's better to string her along and bow out slowly?

It might seem cruel, but it's not. It will be better for her longterm. And obviously better for you. Her mother is the type of sceaming ***** that would use your relationship with the girl against you. And that will eventually be worse for the girl and probably lead to her resenting you as she gets older.
"Oh you have to do xxxx for her birthday, Little Girl will be devastated if she doesnt get her xxxxx."
or
"Sorry Little Girl, dalebrook doesnt love you enough to give us money for another Euro vacation. He doesn't want you to see the world"
and eventually
"dale, you better xxxx or you will never see Little Girl again you ****ing *******!!!"

FFS why would you transfer anything into her name? Save the grand gesture for 9 years from now (unless dale + 9 years feels differently than today dale does of course...)

It's only like $1,400. Half of that is her contribution. I guess I'll transfer half. No reason not to.

She'd use her as a pawn to get more from him.

Play keep-away. On a moment's notice: I am the mom, Dale, you have no right to expect blah blah blah

She'd just leave the kid with him when it was convenient as free day-care (for some P's p), of course playing it off as nothing but the nicest of gestures to offer in the first place.

Get away Dale. There's no such thing as closure and she's going to turn the child against you and say horrible things behind your back. You think she's going to let you look like a saint comparatively?

lol bro

People are hired for murder for less.

Yeah, I can relate.

I have avoidant personality disorder. (self-diagnosed)

Dissenting opinion: for that small an amount, I'd just transfer it all. Not worth the bookkeeping and aggravation spread over several years for $700.

I'm not certain how 529s work, but if you want to establish some sort of college fund for the girl, I would ensure that it is something you can retrieve for yourself without significant penalty if you change your mind over the next ten years (which is highly likely imo). Even a separate taxable account that you mentally separate from your other investments would be worth considering. Perhaps a Roth if you can withdraw from it without penalty after 5 years, I think? I would put nothing whatsoever further into an account with either of their names on it.

Agree about just transferring it all

I misread.

Yeah, if it's $700 it's not worth a ton of effort.

Ok also retract, do whatever is easiest for you with the 529