It's a posthumous endorsement from Freddie Mercury

This is one solid page of content. Nice work people.

Just +1ing this post because I'm too lazy to quote all the others. Chuckled plenty.

Johnny your avatar is from the strangest ****ing movie I’ve ever seen.

You spelled best wrong.

I'm starting Chantix today. Really looking forward to some crazy dreams with a side effect of quitting smoking. That **** is expensive for poor schmucks like me who don't have insurance, about $450 a month with the course lasting 3 months. I'm in SoCal for Nov and Dec so I took a little trip across the border to Tijuana yesterday and visited the Mexican Costco. They sell it for $100 a month, so even if I end up not quitting smoking I'll always have that $1000 savings to look back fondly on.

I have two large GSDs that piss five times a day all over the yard. What’s a little more from me?

At times like this I like to take the opportunity to mention that I paid 25 GBP for a 3 month Chantix course, courtesy of the NHS. It also worked like a charm and I have been smoke free for over 4 years (apart from an occasional cigar).

Good luck!

LFS,

Report the mother****er. I occasionally walk on my street in the dark (with a strobe) and dicks like that should suffer pain from their aggressive stupidity.

Your Friend

Howard

GL Mark!!!

Let us know about your dreams.

When I walk (or even drive) in Philly I never trust these ****ers to actually stop at a stop sign--I would say 1/20 don't stop or partially stop. So I just wait till they actually fully stop before crossing. I've seen way too many mfers just go right through stop signs in the middle of the day. If fact, at a 4 way stop I was driving my car. I had stopped, pulled out the guy going the other way didn't even attempt to stop and missed my car probably by a foot.

A few weeks ago, I hit my breaks in the rain because some idiot was going the wrong way on a 1 way street that I was turning into. Dude behind was too close. Got some scratches but my card is old and I didn't care too much but most drivers are ****ing terrible.

One of the two times my previous car has been really hit, I pulled out from a blind intersection to make a left when my light had been green probably for 8-10 seconds. for some reason the guy going the other way, who literally worked 150 feet away and returning from a a delivery, who was an idiot didn't even slow down at a red light and plowed me. I avoid blind intersections like they're my job and I won't go into an intersection on foot or in car till I see everyone stop. The other time some old lady couldn't see my car and as I was pulling into a parking lot she barreled the side of my car making a left into the street. Funniest **** is she's on the phone with her husband and claimed she didn't know who's fault it was. The cop saw it and knew I couldn't thrust the side of my car into the front of her car very easily.

Go, You can quit!

Think of MLYLT and that you want to deal better than her with life.

Monday I received a quarterly bonus. I hadn't looked at my checking account yet but got a call yesterday from the bank letting me know there may be a problem. I guess so. There was a mistake in the deposit and my employer was off by two decimal points. It is a leave the country and retire amount. Just got off the phone with payroll and they are quite panicked. It'll be gone by tomorrow but it sure looks awfully nice now.

Quickly go and do some atm transactions. Save the receipts that show the balance. Go to the bar every night and hit on women several steps out of your league, do not ask for their number, offer yours, pull a receipt out of your pocket as if it is a random scrap and write your number on the back of it to give to them.

Profit.

Magazinedeliveryguyfroffficespace.jpg

wtf eat a maggot?!!

Google knows that you've been eating in establishments that might not be up to USA#1 public health standards.

You are denounced in Spain!

Store maggots for fishing in fridge. Warm them up by placing under tongue before spearing on hook so that they're wiggling sufficiently to attract fish. Probably swallowed a few when I was a kid

Cross posted from LLSNL chat thread, for those if you (BGP) who read both...

Call her bluff (extremely rare OOT poker usage).

Nice move, Johnny, I like it.

I just take my luggage with me and, depending on how I feel, make some comment (smiling) like: "no problem - i'll be sure not to tell anyone about your unattended bags". Obviously sit somewhere else after you're done.

why on earth would you ask someone lady who clearly doesnt care about her own luggage to look after yours?

and actually, much respect to this lady for being honest and saying no to something shes not comfortable doing.

This is not my move. I was always serial monogamist and now just plain old boring monogamist, but one of my most prolific womanizing friends in my 20s would look at the receipts people left at ATMs for high balances for this trick. He had many. It seemed like so much work and aside from the emptiness of it all, hard to imagine it was worth the effort.

Others in his repertoire are just as clever but not as light-hearted. For example, teach your toddler son to call all women Babe to reduce the likelihood of him mixing up the names of your many, many, many women.