Motion to have Tardball as your new undertitle

'fleeting and ephemeral' is rather redundant, ape.

lol?

I don't know who pissed in your coffees, but I would have gladly done it.

i have to admit that i figured most people would say i'm an idiot and i should stay with my current gf, but i didn't think it would be practically unanimous. for the record, i am leaving out a lot of specific details that i do not feel comfortable including.

Leaving out details is fine as long as you don't think they're relevant to the situation about which you're requesting advice.

Clearly they are relevant. Otherwise, why even mention them?

OP is dreaming of girlfriend's mom?

Not so sure about the last part. One can be happy, in a stable relationship, and still get a bit on the side now and then without feeling guilty. You just need to know how to compartamentalize, lie, and cover your tracks well.

isn't this a gimmick? what details would you not be comfortable including? I'm guessing they are about your current GF and some crazy stuff she does.

Good, but. ...

Paragraph 1: unless you are a shut in you'll meet attractive people, but if you really don't ever start down the road of thinking about new people as possible connections it doesn't go far. I think there is some wisdom in people in relationships keeping some distance from the opposite sex.

The thing about age. .. The older you get the less time you have left. You can say that means less time to recover, but it also means it's easier to say, **** it, and go for it before it's too late. At some point you have to stop living for some distant perfect future and just do what you feel like doing.

Why do you think I said what I said?

they are definitely relevant details, but things that i don't feel comfortable saying here. like i mentioned in OP, yes i was interested in advice, but i also just wanted to unload the burden of keeping this a secret. the chance of me leaving my current gf is probably very slim.

let's just say that my current gf, despite how much we have in common, is not the nicest person to me or to others.

MLYLT?

Your last statement should have been mentioned in the OP.

yes, you are right. advice might have been slightly different. although, minus specific details, i don't know if it would have changed many people's opinions.

and just to clarify, my current gf really loves me. she's just not what i would call a nice or kind person and sometimes she can lose it and get very, very angry.

send me a pic and we'll see

There's only one way to find out.

I can't imagine how someone would want to be with someone who they couldnt use the words "nice" or "kind" to describe.


whatever floats your boat I guess

I guess the sex must be really, really good.

fair enough.

however, let me just say that if i only dated or chose friends who i thought were "nice" and/or "kind" i'd be an extremely lonely person. imho, the vast majority of people are only nice or kind as long as it doesn't negatively affect them and their personal agendas.

it's very easy to be nice when the result is either a benefit to you or at least it is indifferent to you. when people are pushed up against a wall, there are really hardly any nice and/or kind people. in my entire life, i've met maybe three that i know for sure are kind people.

my gf is nice to me when things are going good but if she thinks i am at fault then she feels she has full approval to be as mean to me as she can. she's not the only gf i've had that has acted like this (honestly, if i had to guess they all were like this to a certain extent, and that probably goes for friends too).

i obviously don't agree with this but it seems to be how pretty much everyone thinks. i've never met someone like me who needs to sit down and talk things through in great detail in order to solve a conflict. when people are mean to me, i don't get angry, i get sad and i want to know why we're having this conflict. i'm sure there are people out there like this, but we are not in the majority that's for sure.

The exact opposite of this is true. You need to meet more people.

it is good

i figured everyone just assumed this was a given considering i'm a male and i've been with my gf for many years after all, what else to guys care about?

quite possibly true. i'm obviously speaking from personal experience. i guess i need to be more optimistic. something in my gut tells me that's bull**** though - can't help it.

This got dark pretty quick,but if she is abusive,that is reason enough to leave.

Maybe not permanently,but it would have to change in order to stay in the relationship.

And another thing,if you are constantly having friends with ulterior motives,maybe you have a similar personality,maybe that needs to change.

Just a thought.

She sounds like she might be emotionally abusive. Are you letting yourself be an outlet for her emotional lashes? In other words do you take her **** when it's completely unwarranted?