I try to be nice. My success rate of not being a complete and utter piece of deplorable trash is probably somewhere around 85%. I can censor myself most of the time, but not always. I think I've come a long way but I am definitely still human.

My mental state has been mostly good recently with the exception of a couple truly terrifying days. Luckily, my doctors were able to help and no damage was caused to myself or anyone else. I take all my meds religiously and they seem to be working.

I'm sorry that you're apparently allergic to awesomeness.

crap, she knows my name now. Should I be scared?

God I hope so.

At the risk of putting myself out there and casting mets in an extremely unfavorable light, I'm actually going to answer this. His behavior included but was not limited to:

-berating me constantly
-guilt tripping me about my relationships with my male friends
-accusing me of not loving him
-gaslighting
-belittling my intellect because he did not agree with some of my political views
-using my illness as leverage to manipulate me into being subservient
-keeping tabs on my whereabouts at all times and giving me hell if I didn't answer my phone, or heaven forbid be 10 minutes late coming home
-talking down to me, in public no less, in such a horrendous manner that my friends and family actually held an intervention to try to get me to leave him. One time my sister and her boyfriend came to visit us for a weekend and she was so horrified at the way he treated me that she called our mom in tears on the way home.

I'm not saying that my snapping like a twig was justified in any way because it clearly was not. I am 100% responsible for my actions and my choices. I made the decision to put up with these things, and this was the unfortunate result. By no means do I consider myself a victim; I was a volunteer. However, even though it clearly wasn't right, I think that a fair number of people in similar circumstances would have also reacted very, very poorly.

It should be noted that before I started dating mets, I was stable, on medication, and doing well. I was also fine in the early part of our relationship before we moved in together. Once I had to live with him, I began to deteriorate rapidly. I was hospitalized twice while I was with him, once during the breakup, and twice more in the months that followed the end of the relationship. I wasn't right again for something like a year.

No.

I was kind of hoping for a werewolf related answer tbh

HiFi,

While I applaud the sincereness in you, I'm not a big fan of the way you handle this.

I'm having troubles seeing what you (or mets for that matter) can gain from this.

I'm just allergic to things presented in list format and fights between couples on twitter that "go viral" presented as news.

Mets does sound pretty terrible. Of course you'll understand if people don't take this 100% at face value though.

How was he gaslighting you? As a fan of the movie it's started to annoy me when people have started to use it for things that have no relation to the source material.

It's pretty obvious that she struggles with her identity, and is answering questions because they are asked. I don't think she is trying to produce any specific external outcome.

HiFi,

Are you good at handicapping sports?

I'd like to hear more about your political views.

#1 out of 142,296

Sorry.

I don't think anyone stands to gain anything here.

Move on with your life Girl. Surely if he was the monster you say he was, then you would want him totally out of your mind?? Yet it seems to me your still hung up on it.

Nothing I write is in list format. I have never published someone else's tweets as news.

I have no expectation whatsoever that anyone will listen to a single word I have to say about the way mets behaved, but believe me when I tell you that I've actually left out the worst parts.

Regarding gaslighting: I've never seen the movie but he would do things like make vague threats against me and then categorically deny that anything untoward had actually gone down. When I confronted him about the way he treated me, he would state (with pancake-flat affect) that he treated me like gold and that I was delusional for so much as insinuating otherwise.

It was an extremely damaging experience but I am pretty ****ing far from hung up on it. As a matter of fact, I hadn't thought of it in a long time before the WVU train wreck that happened recently. And then I thought "oh, ****, that's right... that happened."

Not especially but tiny tiny sample size.

I am a left-leaning libertarian.

Hmmm....clearly ****

I think its fair for Hifi to be able to answer questions here. Finally.

For a long time now, at least in mets' home forum, all anyone heard was his side of the story, his e-buddies hammering Hifi with insults whenever she posted in the community thread, and him making jokes at her expense like she's half a murderer etc. He complained about her posting about her love life after they broke up too so for quite a while she was not allowed to talk about moving on. In the meantime, he posted copious updates of every sexual encounter and speed date he had until finally posting literally an ass-ton of wedding photos (quickie deal, they are the olds). The mods only allowed Hifi back from the perma she carried for posting about boxcuttergate on the condition that she didn't bring up this stuff again when she returned, but meanwhile mets was openly inviting questions about their relationship in his AMA/well, which included IMHO an absurd amount of personal information about his sex life with Hifi that one can only assume was not approved by her given the timing.

Its frankly long past due that Hifi is allowed to say her piece. I think the people calling her an attention whore are not really understanding that she has essentially been under a gag order from defending herself in any way while the other party has had an insurmountable lead in spreading the story to as many eager listeners he could find. This is the other side.

Maybe feminists use the term in that sense now, but it doesn't have much relation to the actual term. Gaslighting would be something like putting your purse in the refrigerator and then telling you that you did it. Or generally moving this around and asking why you can't remember doing it. Or claiming that you're hearing things when there are strange noises.

The examples you're giving are ones where it's very possible for both sides to think they're right. It's entirely possible he thought he treated you quite well. It's possible he treats his wife the same and she thinks it's great.

This happened more than once.

Also, for clarity: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

I think this is literally the most accurate description possible.