lol I'll see if I can put something together later.

I'm very sorry about the incident last night. My associate had assured me that his baboon was well behaved. He (my associate, not the baboon) was also quite sorry and wished to make amends. You will be receiving a beautiful marmoset, compliments of my associate, as soon as it clears quarantine.

Too extreme too fast. I think you need to start subtler and work up to something like that.

I'm sorry about the noise last night. My associate had just returned from a trip abroad where he had most unfortunately contracted a case of Dengue fever. That may sound strange, but it comes with the territory when one deals in exotic primates. I'm sure you will be glad to know that he has fully recovered and it is that recovery which we were celebrating. Thank you for your understanding.

I would go with something like, "Sorry about the noise last night (My bed)."

This is gold, wp

Dear James,

A guilty conscience needs no accuser. I've laid here in bed many nights looking up at the ceiling, feeling that weight. The weight a man feels when he's crossed his very own personal thin red line, and there just isn't any going back.

It started with a little pot in middle school with Patrick Perkins and Andrew Malhoney. They say you never forget your first woman, but I never forgot my first taste. Ugh, that taste, what I wouldn't give to go back. A lot of kids have that rebellious phase that they eventually give up after 2-3 years of experimenting. For me, that was a doorway, man. Shortly after those pot years, came the pills, and some of the best years of my life. I'M INVISIBLE, I'M INVISIBLE, An eraser of love, an eraser of love.

*and you put this on a usb key for him*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feWNvGpWHLM


Dancing all night, completely twatted, feeling like my whole life was ahead of me. A different girl every weekend, watching the sun rise at an afterparty from some strangers balcony, feeling like I had life by the horns. They say drugs kill James, but good neighbour I can assure you I never felt more alive than during my ecstasy years.

But nothing gold can stay James, and when the comedowns from the pills became too much to handle every Tuesday, I met the love of my life: cocaine. Cocaine can be any type of mistress you want her to be. Need a little push before the big sales forecast meeting? She'll get you there. Just a taste, ugh that sweet taste. You'll never feel more alive James. And so coke once a week became coke 3 times a day, until that sweet mistress became an anchor on my life. The WEIGHT just started grinding me down. You feel so alive with it, and at the same time you mostly feel dead inside without it. I don't even remember what it feels like to be happy and sober James, not until you started writing me.

The truth is James, although I do smoke cigarettes and pot now and again along with my coke habit, I had never tried crack until your thoughtful letters started appearing at my door. I always thought crack was for the homeless and Rob Ford, but your letters opened my mind up to the possibilities. So I called my guy, and he gave me some to try. I've been holding on to it for a few days now, waiting for the perfect time to try it. Its not that I'm nervous or scared James, It's just the opposite: I only get to try it for the first time, one time. I want the first time to be just right, I want it to be perfect.

A ship is always safe at the shore, James. But that is NOT what it was built for. I crossed that thin red line and I can't go back, we both know that. But truth is, I don't want to.

I'll write you again after that first taste. I've got that nervous excitement again, and I have you to thank.

Michael

Dear James,

Thank you so much for the note that you left under my door yesterday, those sure do cheer me up when I get home from work!

So, you got a cat! I saw a cat outside your door, so I thought, hey, that must be James' cat! I love cats! I used to have a cat when I was growing up! She was all black and you want to know what we called her? That's right! Blackie! She was my best friend growing up!

Maybe I could get a cat and our cats could play together, what do you think of that? Just let me know!

Your best friend, Mike

I like the cat one!

I think I'd just spill a little pile of talcum powder outside my front door, see if you can catch the old git trying to gather evidence at 3am.

*Opens door* 'My God man! What on earth are you doing down there, are you unwell, should I call an ambulance?'

First one is the best idea.

Sorry for all the NOISE last night, the party got a little OUT of hand. I tried to keep the window CLOSED. Please accept my apologies.

"Sorry about the noise last night. I've been made aware it was kind of loud. Had a couple of complaints, mainly from no.22. That guy eh? Anyway i enclosed a couple of cigars, thanks for your patience."

Hello, James.

"Sorry for the use of COCAINE AND CRACK POWDER yesterday during a sleepless night, my WINDOW was not all the way OPEN and it caused a TRAP smell to hold inside the apartment."

"For use of POWDER use a full OPEN window and more for sea-air."

Create a 2p2 account for James and start a thread in another forum about how he is trolling you. Mods change the timestamps so it all works. Then write a note about how you discovered his thread.

KEEP SEA-AIR FRESH NO

SMOKE NO COKE NO CRACK OR GO

KEEP SEA-AIR FRESH NO

Just my opinion, but I doubt Josem wants to do anything that could be construed as threatening or an admission of drug use.

Cat was really good, IMO. Noise apology is solid, but again, if he collects notes like those they could be used as the basis of a real complaint.

IMO, maybe he should leave the guy alone, but people should still keep trying to post funny letters.

I'm very much if this mindset as well.

I kind of feel bad about possibly agitating this guy. Not just because of the possible repercussions but because he's clearly out of sorts. We certainly don't need to add to it

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using 2+2 Forums

Maybe he's just peculiar, you don't know a lot about his percieved mental illness. The only one able to be some kind of a judge of that is Josem so I'll leave that up to him. Buzz Killingtons.

letters continue to deliver!! do you ever see this guy outside?

Please explain the difference.

Do you think "peculiar" is a mental illness?

dude's clearly way beyond peculiar.

Does IOM have "Meals on Wheels" for shut-in seniors? Signing James up might be a very nice gesture...

Edit: Yup

http://www.gov.im/categories/caring-...-disabilities/

solid thread until everyone started trying to be funny. you should definitely **** with the guy somehow tho