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Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR).

12-31-2015 , 04:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperUberBob
Five words guaranteed to be included on a positive performance review of Robert Mugabe.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
12-31-2015 , 05:58 PM
I'd suggest getting a photo of the Senior Analyst blowing the Boss. This won't help you keep your job but you might be able to leverage it into a tidy severance payment.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
12-31-2015 , 09:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkgojackets
is "aloof" the positive spin for "incompetent" like how an undesirable single woman claims to be "independent"
meh, you can't be truly incompetent if you don't care enough.

reminds me of another job I had for one day: warehouse employee. Fudge that sugar all the way to the money bank.

I went in for a group interview for this one position that I didn't know a ton about (I was applying to dozens of jobs each week), and after 2 minutes of talking to the boss he put us all into the warehouse and said our shift would be over at 11PM, 8 hours later.

I was stapling boxes and putting stamps on boxes and other horse plop until the end of the day, and then I told another boss that I wasn't coming back.

2 weeks later I go to get my paycheque and the 'hiring' boss that 'interviewed' me sees me and starts yelling at me for quitting with no notice. He said "usually when I hire someone I expect them to stay for more than ONE DAY" and other crap like that. The secretary was apologizing profusely for his aggressiveness which I thought was pointless. I said I would never see either of them again and there was nothing to worry about. Then I left.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
12-31-2015 , 11:13 PM
I need to hire someone who can work for me for two days.

Sorry Moo, you are out
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
12-31-2015 , 11:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JackInDaCrak
You could have a bright future in boiling oat running.
Fantastic.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
12-31-2015 , 11:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LFS
raped
molestation
diarrhea
hemorrhoids
genocide
I will add:

pederast
yambag

On the merits: when I've hired someone new, I tend to hire for raw talent. The work product I initially get is usually not what I want. I explain in clear and simple terms what I would like. If someone does another project and makes the same mistake I saw the first time, I point it out clearly and say that I very much do not want to see the same thing again. If I get the same mistake a third time, it turns into a fairly serious problem. I'm not keen on firing people, but it simply isn't acceptable for people in my group to not do what I need them to do. Simply put: when your boss points out a mistake, never ever under any circumstance make that mistake again. Rinse and repeat.

It's highly likely that you're finished at this job. Still, all may not be lost: make sure that your next project doesn't make ANY of the previous mistakes you've made. If you can manage that a couple of times, go to your boss and tell him you've got the message clearly. You still may be sunk, but you should have a little pride in your work product and do this anyway.

The guy I started my career with hated me after two months. I listened to his feedback and eventually won him over. It can happen.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 12:14 AM
Your boss should be fired for taking so long to fire you.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 01:33 AM
Amos,

If you make the same mistake more than once you are an eff up as an employee. Sounds like your boss was being pretty polite.

You say you only interact with him 15 minutes s day but if you are regularly being told to redo work then you are failing horribly.

Not sure how you made it past six months with a review like that. Most bosses hate firing people because finding new people who can do the job is often a devil you know situation.

I don't know how many people your boss manages but I can think of most situations where talking to every employee fifteen minutes a day would be impossible.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 01:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FamousAmosGA
I analyze claims data, run SQL queries, and create reports for a health insurance company.



Ya my boss claimed he didn't want to fire me, but more in a sense of he wanted to get his ROI on my training and salary back than he really cared about helping me get better as an employee/person
So your job should not take ten months to master. It's all on you at this point. Why not just do the guy a favor and quit. Seems like college was a complete waste for you. Perhaps you could build kites.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 03:34 AM
I've had glowsticks that worked longer than moo.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 10:48 AM
obviously stay so they give you severance. it's already in the works, so it would be beyond stupid to quit now.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 11:26 AM
I awoke fairly early in the morning in a haze from the vodka I had consumed the night before. My stomach was heavier from eating an entire Papa John's pizza for dinner. My wallet was lighter from getting a rub down with an ending that wasn't as happy as I had intended.

Went to the gym to do some cardio and sweat it out. Didn't bring headphones or reading material. I just thought about **** for half an hour. I hadn't really given it my best effort and it wouldn't hurt my case to apologize. I fired up the Manager Tools podcast "Do YOU Need to Apologize?"(awesome cast) As I started to piece together one that met their advice(use the word apologize, explain the bad behavior, don't offer excuses or apologize for how they feel, grovel) I realized how much I truly believed it. I got really depressed. Maybe some of it was from alcohol withdrawal, but I still wondered if I would be able to do this thing without crying.

Had a meeting scheduled with my boss as 9:30 to go over the assignment. Got in and looked back over my assignment caught a couple more little things using my checklist. I decided I'd do the apology at the beginning of the meeting.

I was pretty nervous about apologizing, but I knew I had to do it. Had a pause for a few seconds but said what I needed to. Got a little misty but didn't cry. I felt elt and probably came off as really sad. My boss mentioned a few times that the plan doesn't mean I was fired yet, moreso than he probably needed to to blow smoke. He did seem really happy the rest of the day. Probably not because of me, but at least I didn't piss him off.

That meeting and the one following basically went in a way to maximize the tough love I'd get if 2+2 were watching. He actually went a little too slow in explaining the context of the assignment. He was clear in distinguishing what I had to do to meet the level 2 expectations, and what changes I needed to make but couldn't have known in advance. He really does seem to be making a sincere effort instead of just berating me, which makes me feel even ****tier now.

I had this image of myself as being this smart efficient worker and I was just being delusional and ignoring all evidence contrary to that view. I basically knew the positive comments I was going to give myself on my part of the review even though it didn't really show in the work I produced. Strange that I had this narcissistic perspective, because I'm kinda depressed, negative thinking and self loathing in general. I'm actually very similar to Helping Joe on the Mating Grounds. He's harsh on himself and they make fun of him for that, but they just berated him because he thinks is he's too cool to take a cashier or even a corporate job at a big company even though he doesn't have a full time gig at 27. Another really good podcast series IMO.

Thanks to whoever suggested apologizing. I have a feeling this will be a time I'll look back on in 5 years and be baffled as to what I was thinking.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 11:46 AM
Invest in a diary.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 12:11 PM
2p2 has a blog forum
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 12:22 PM
Thanks for the update. It sucks when people start advice threads and then never follow up with results.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 01:12 PM
Invest in a dairy...then hire Moo
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 05:39 PM
OP- speaking from personal experience, lack of communication is probably responsible for 90% of your issues. Managers will almost never get angry at an entry level employee for not knowing how to do something what they will get pissed about is if the employee doesnt get clarification/ask questions about something they dont know how to do.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 05:59 PM
10 months or w/e might be a little early for this change, but at some point an employee must change their attitude from

I do what I am told. It is my boss's responsibility to instruct and direct me.

to

I am hired because of my knowledge and expertise. My boss is looking to me to know what to do and how to get it done. My boss may value my input, take my direction, or benefit from my actions without even knowing the specifics of what I'm doing. My boss may not understand what I'm doing as well as I do.


As an employer, I love when an employee tells me what to do and they are right. I really love when the first time I learn about them doing something is when I've made or saved money from it.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-01-2016 , 11:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnzimbo
Invest in a dairy...then hire Moo
i see what you did there?
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-02-2016 , 12:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by microbet
As an employer, I love when an employee tells me what to do and they are right. I really love when the first time I learn about them doing something is when I've made or saved money from it.
This. I also love when I ask one of my employees a question and their answer indicates that they've thought about it more deeply and carefully and creatively than I have.

Corollary: I spend some fraction of my time -- probably ten per cent -- thinking about what my boss needs and thinking about that stuff more deeply, carefully and creatively than she has.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-02-2016 , 03:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard Treesong



Corollary: I spend some fraction of my time -- probably ten per cent -- thinking about what my boss needs and thinking about that stuff more deeply, carefully and creatively than she has.

OP: read this. twice.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-02-2016 , 09:43 AM
I've always felt that managers fall somewhere in between these two ends of the spectrum: 1) Managers who try to surround themselves with smart people, knowing those people may inadvertently make them feel stupid from time to time. 2) Managers who like to surround themselves with stupid people, so that they can feel smart all day long.

Anyway, I think its pretty likely that Microbet and Howard are people I'd work for in a heartbeat.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-02-2016 , 04:51 PM
20 years in the corporate and mid-sized company workforce - that's the worst review I've ever seen by far. Good luck OP. My guess is you are a terrible terrible worker.
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-02-2016 , 04:55 PM
I found some footage of OP in his office. Seems his real name is Chet.

Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote
01-02-2016 , 04:57 PM
lol that's great
Just got roasted on my performance review(TL;DR). Quote

      
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