it sounds like your family is really holding you back. have you ever thought about a way to just make them disappear?

wow @ the chicken thing. you are a pretty terrible person op.

Did you kill everyone in the store for this mistake?

lol @ fork. Just stick the damn thing in a trough and pig out.

I haven't read all this thread but OP, you'd do much better posting this in psychology.

Not sure exactly but probably her own problems mentally. My entire family (aunts, uncles, grandparents) has various symptoms of depression/ocd/adhd. I'm the only one who's seeking treatment.

Lol@ this reply along w/all others along these lines.

One last time for my own sanity.

1. Pick your least favorite food.
2. I will cook it for you, and serve it to you
3. You politely tell me "hey thanks but I really don't like this"
4. In a week I will prepare you the same meal.
5. You tell me again that you really don't want it, but thanks anyway
6. A week later, I make the same meal yet again

How would you react? How about if the person cooking for you got visibly upset, to the point of taking it personally, even after 2, 3, 4, 5 times of the same thing? Keep in mind I am openly admitting I'm mentally unstable as well, so my reaction might be a bit more rash.

I've made it perfectly clear that I'm picky, and if you give me something I don't want, I just won't use it or eat it. I haven't been a **** at all.

If you can't see how I feel frustrated/upset using that simple analogy then you fail at basic logic. Again, I've openly admitted that I'm mentally unstable so my feelings are going to be a bit exaggerated, but I've been nothing but polite and haven't thrown tantrums or told anyone in my family to **** off or anything like that.

It's also funny in a way because my whole family has little quirks like this. My uncle won't drink Pepsi. When we go out to eat he has to know if it's Pepsi or Coke. If it's Pepsi he will get a beer or an ice tea or something. Should the waiter feel offended now?

Analogy being, my family treats it like I'm at a restaurant, except I can't order. Obviously this is completely unnecessary, I don't need to be cooked for and waited on. But they try to cook for me anyway. I tell them that it's super counter-productive since it's a waste of their time/money/food, and they just keep doing it.

It's not like this happens once a week either, it's pretty much every time I'm in the kitchen, "hey there's x y and z in there for you to eat" and if I don't eat it immediately you can tell they're upset.

I think a lot of the problem w/food specifically goes back to living w/my mom. She would freak out when I would cook on my own, saying that I shouldn't turn on the oven in the summer because it makes the kitchen hot. Or if I made some seafood it made the room smell. She would nag me about how unhealthy it was when I ordered takeout. I couldn't have the TV on during dinner. Couldn't eat in my room.

In the later years she would order takeout for her and my brother, and not even bother to ask me if I wanted anything, even after several times of me being like "wtf? I have money...why didn't you ask me?" She knew I was home, and could have easily texted or called but nah. She just shrugged her shoulders.

You do realize that your family is not analogous to waitstaff at a restaurant?

You are not sick you are just a spoiled brat.

Most of these mild annoyances would be easily solved if you would just move out and live on your own. You don't get to be a loser living at home way past when it is acceptable to do so and then get to complain about the people who give you lodging.

I have never understood picky eaters.

And yet you don't accept any advice. You seem to be looking for some activity you can do for 10 minutes every day to fix your life and refuse to accept that you basically need to change most of your daily routine to get out of your situation.

I'm not an expert at psychology but changing your daily routine can be very tough. For me, starting with radical changes helps a lot, so for example try going to bed at 10pm every day and get up at 5am.

bucco - You kinda sound like a bitch about this food thing. It might be annoying to you, but the rest of the world knows how to brush it off or deal with it so that it becomes a non-issue.

It's not like I want to be a picky eater. It would be so much easier for me if I would eat many more foods. Unfortunately, I find so many foods to be unpleasant to eat. Some things, like sour cream, even make me gag. Pickiness is no fun for anyone.

Ah, right, the Henry way to self-improvement begins with elitist values. If you live at home past the cutoff he sets, you're a loser.

Since I'm on my phone, multi-quoting is too hard, but I did want to say that psychiatric diseases are real and do have physiological bases. Imaging and pathological studies show that real, physical changes occur in the brains with these diseases. We know that drugs that mess with neurotransmitters can reduce the symptoms of these diseases.

No, we don't know what is actually going on in the brain to cause these psychiatric disorders, but that doesn't mean we can't know that something is going on. I'm not saying that OP really has ADHD or an impulse control disorder, but some people really do.

I think it's very unlikely op has a real disorder. He's just a punk bitch, and based on his failure to comprehend why and his terrible analogies itt he's likely really, really dumb as well.

If you can't or choose to not sustain yourself without the assistance of mommy and daddy then yes you have failed.

Some psychiatric diseases do -- most do not. More importantly no physiological testing of any kind happens during diagnosis.

You guys have no idea what its like to have a ****ty mum apparently.

Either way OP the best way is to go somewhere and live by yourself. You need lots of time away from your family.

Yes, since mental illnesses are fake, the elderly are failures once they head into the nursing home once the Dementia sets in. Also, all those in the psych ward are epic failures as well.

Oh wait, Dementia is one of the "real" mental illnesses. OCD, depression, anxiety, ADHD...not so much. Suck it up and move on. Got it.

This thread at least makes me feel better knowing that I can (and will, eventually) get healthy, while your ignorance is likely to continue for years to come.

I don't live here because I'm lazy, stupid, or an ***hole. I have been diagnosed with real mental illness, which makes a lot of "normal" day-to-day activities a lot harder for me to handle. My emotions are obviously very volatile. Call it a cop out if you want, and taunt me while you're at it. Real classy. Back to being a failure for me.

You say this as if it justifies itself. Or if people that don't make as much money as you and need to save more are somehow failures.

Which psych diagnosis has no physiological basis? No testing is done because, as I said, we don't know the physiologic basis for these diseases or how to test for them, but this does not imply that no such basis exists. I don't see why the lack of testing is important except if you want to distract from the real issue.

Honestly I don't get all the hate for me for spilling my feelings on this. My mom doesn't ****ing talk to me or love me, after 10+ years of me apologizing (for what, I don't know), engaging her in normal conversation as best I could, and just trying to live a normal life.

When you go to your mom legitimately seeking advice, or tell her you got a promotion at work and she basically shrugs or slams a door in your face, you tend to feel like ****. She hasn't said a nice or even neutral thing to me or about me in years, she basically goes behind my back and tells the rest of my family what a failure I am. Most of my family has realized what's going on and they don't really bother anymore with her. Even if I am a failure, that's no excuse for my mom to go around telling other people about it. I'll never call myself a failure. A disappointment, maybe, but I'm doing what I can with what I've got.

Here's a test. If you can call your mom (hopefully she's still alive) and have a pleasant, 5 minute conversation (maybe about the Hurricane or some other news, or something related to your family) and then hang up without feeling like "holy **** why does my mom hate me?" then you don't know how I feel.

I'd love nothing more than to take my mom out to lunch and just talk for an hour about life, the weather, her job, my job, food, our future plans, or whatever. Most likely if I invited her she wouldn't even bother taking me up on the offer.

I can't count how many times I've cried myself to sleep just repeating the same question. "Why doesn't she love me?" And I've even asked my dad and he just sort of shrugged at me saying he didn't know, and when he went to talk to her, and pointed out that I was crying my eyes out because all I wanted was a mom who gave a **** about my life she slammed the door on him too and now my mom and dad are separated and haven't talked much, if at all, in years as well.

I'm past that stage in my life now but it still hurts to think about it from time to time, especially since my mom lives 5 minutes away.

bucco - I have a friend like you who has been in therapy for many years now (10+) and has similar issues with his Mom.

From an outsider's perspective, it's difficult to understand what you're going through. I have sympathy for you but not all that much.

I'm sure you've explored this in therapy, and you know this rationally - but dude, alot of the feelings you have towards your Mom are more about yourself than her behavior towards you (e.g. you can't see that your Mom does care for you on some level, and loves you, until you love yourself etc.).

If there is some kind of "objective/empirical" view on the matter (which I think there is) - your Mom isn't abusive by any legal standard, and while she's overbearing and bitchy, there are worse Moms. Overall - your Mom is like a 5/10 (in the mother-ing department). Things could be worse.

But overly focusing on how your Mom isn't all that bad is probably less constructive than working on yourself and building your self-esteem.

Good luck with all this.

The bar is at beings self-sustaining -- nothing higher

So you point is that w should be believe that there is some pathology that explains being a **** up -- even though we have no evidence beyond the fact that the individual is a **** up?

That seems rather self-serving and somewhat ******ed. The fact remain that these people who claim to have no control of their choices actually do. If the consequences of them not making correct choices would be very certain painful torture they would start making correct choices pretty much by day two. The reason they don't make correct choices is because there are no real consequences. In fact when they **** up instead of even holding them responsible for their situation we instead simply claim they are diseased and it isn't their fault.

bucco,

no one is disputing that your mom is/was terrible. it's just that you are, too.

Believing that you have a psychological problem is not the same as believing that you have no control of your choices. For many people, seeking diagnosis of and treatment for a mental health issue is the avenue by which they go about affecting changes to the way they make decisions. Treatment can be an avenue of change, not a way to absolve yourself of responsibility. Getting treatment and changing your life is taking responsibility.

Whether ADHD, OCD, allergies, and a thyroid problem are legitimate problems, it hasn't really been established that he suffers from all of these, or that they are the source of his misery, or-- importantly-- actual handicaps and not just annoyances. I read his posts and see an over-reactive, undisciplined, self-absorbed man-child who has outgrown his living situation but is unsure of how to proceed with changing things by himself. It's going to be difficult and scary but he has to do it.

Self-knowledge is important but not a precondition to material progress. You can get your own apartment without ever examining why now and not before. With school starting there's a lot of young people organizing their housing right now, and this is as good a time as any to dive in.

Op, it does sound like you had a pretty crappy childhood, but so have a lot of people. In fact, a lot of people have had worse childhoods.

I was sort of expecting you to talk about how she beat you routinely after molesting you or something.