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Page 154 of 1710

First

54 104 134 144 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 164 174 204 254 354 654 1154

Last

10-27-2011 , 04:25 PM

#3826

bgomez89

adept

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 972

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Spaceman

A girl went to the urologist one day for a cystoscopy. The doctor gave her a pill called Pyridium that turned her pee orange. When she got home, she asked her boyfriend "honey, would you like to make a bet?".

He said "sure".

She said "I bet you that my pee will be orange. If I'm right, you will have to love me forever and ever with all of your heart. If it isn't orange then our love wasn't meant to be and we will break up."

He gulped and said, "okay."

Lo and behold, her pee was orange and they embraced all night!

The next day she got the results of her cystoscopy, and found out she had late-stage uterine cancer. Her boyfriend came home that afternoon and found her in her coffin.

****ing lol

Quote

10-27-2011 , 04:27 PM

#3827

toddw8

veteran

Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,472

Quote:

Originally Posted by tschubauer

This is pretty awesome imo. Steve Jobs was good at designing/marketing tech products but he is hardly a genius or a visionary or someone that all of humanity should be mourning the death of. I'm pretty sick of hearing about him.

Quote

10-27-2011 , 04:40 PM

#3828

TheNothing

the knees of nothing

Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 42,425

from same girl i post every time. forgot to add last time that she also signs her posts, in her status updates. she writes the post and then gives a comma, and puts her name. tilts me so bad:

TODAY 4 HOURS AGO:
Serving notice to all for the last DAMN time!! I don't date men over 40, i'm not interested in men with more than one kid, I don't like kids that much, just being real, take notes from a grown AZZ man name Gordon, who didn't inbox me 2 talk, just let's me know he didn't have nothing 2 hide... That's what I like..

TODAY 3 HOURS AGO:
Has a killer outfit that she's dying to wear, that's gonna get her in trouble, keep watching, down 2 174lbs, 4 more pounds to go... It's getting good!

TODAY 30 MINUTES AGO:
Took my heart 2 the limit, I want u so bad it's my only wish, my only wish for my birthday Nov. 6th... I'm getting so close I can feel it, God's promise, He hasn't forgot about His daughter.... So I smile!!!

Quote

10-27-2011 , 05:00 PM

#3829

prohornblower

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 38,283

4 more pounds to go until 170? Is she 6'2"?

Quote

10-27-2011 , 05:13 PM

#3830

LuckyJones

temp-banned

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 285

From a 26 year old female on my friends list. She is single with two kids under 5.

"This is for all you girls about twenty-five
In a little apartment, just trying to get by
Living on, on dreams and spaghetti-o's
Wondering where you life is gonna go."

I think she wrote it herself, talented hey.

Quote

10-27-2011 , 05:20 PM

#3831

MikeyObviously

veteran

Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 3,266

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Spaceman

haha Had a good lol at this...

Quote

10-27-2011 , 05:28 PM

#3832

buddyholly

old hand

Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,673

Quote:

Originally Posted by amplify

One step at a time.

Quote

10-27-2011 , 05:39 PM

#3833

tschubauer

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 7,458

todd,

i dont get it

Quote

10-27-2011 , 05:41 PM

#3834

Wallypop

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 5,189

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuckyJones

It's a song by Martina McBride. Sad that I know that.

Quote

10-27-2011 , 06:12 PM

#3835

toddw8

veteran

Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,472

Quote:

Originally Posted by tschubauer

todd,

i dont get it

It was just a lame "look at me I have an old reg date" brag.

Carry on.

Quote

10-27-2011 , 06:23 PM

#3836

Dids

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 60,871

Girl I know, who has FANTASTIC breasts and is very pro-choice

"hope those abortion protesters likes the boobs they just saw".

I mean I realize the kind of tards who sit out in front of planned parenthood with their kids protesting abortion probably were scandalized and didn't enjoy being flashed- BUT COME ON I'VE NEVER ABORTED A BABY, SHOW ME THE TITS INSTEAD.

Quote

10-27-2011 , 06:56 PM

#3837

grando

witty comic

Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 10,680

what i don't even

Quote

10-27-2011 , 07:13 PM

#3838

prohornblower

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 38,283

Would be funny if like 8,000 unemployed dudes hung out at the abortion clinic tomorrow.

Quote

10-27-2011 , 07:45 PM

#3839

425kid

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 10,346

"un·shak·a·ble (adj.) -- incapable of being shaken"

Really?

Quote

10-27-2011 , 07:58 PM

#3840

rakemyblind

centurion

Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 145

Quote:

Yes, I'm a girl. I push doors that clearly say PULL. I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing. I walk into a room and forget why I was there. I count on my fingers in math. I hide the pain from my loved ones. I say it is a long story when it's really not. I cry a lot more than you think I do. I care about people who don't care about me. I try to do things before the microwave beeps!! I listen to you even when you don't listen to me. And a hug will always help. Yes, I'm a girl!!!!! Re-post if you're proud to be one, come on girls!

YOU GO GIRL!!!!111!!11!!1

Quote

10-27-2011 , 08:47 PM

#3841

blankoblanco

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 8,395

the whole first half of that is literally "i'm stupid because i'm a girl!!" i really hope more girls are insulted by that than are liking it. it's pretty idiotic

Quote

10-27-2011 , 09:07 PM

#3842

CalledDownLight

Toonces the Posting Bot

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 88,413

Quote:

My sentiments exactly:

posted more because you grammar nits would like this than anything else

Quote

10-27-2011 , 09:09 PM

#3843

Riverman

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 73,129

Quote

10-27-2011 , 09:12 PM

#3844

27offsuit

actions have consequences!

Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 38,735

spaceman funny.

Quote

10-27-2011 , 09:18 PM

#3845

ANONN123

Guest

Posts: n/a

Kinda liked that, actually.

Last edited by ANONN123; 10-27-2011 at 09:18 PM. Reason: RE: riverman

Quote

10-27-2011 , 09:56 PM

#3846

prohornblower

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 38,283

Everyone's 401(k) doubled every 3 years.

Quote

10-27-2011 , 09:58 PM

#3847

Riverman

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 73,129

For extra lolz, the kid who posted that is the son of a dude who ran a publicly traded company into the ground as CEO yet received severance pay and stock options worth tens of millions of dollars.

Quote

10-27-2011 , 11:17 PM

#3848

prohornblower

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 38,283

I can't be the only one who read that in Alec Baldwin's Glengarry Glen Ross tone.

Quote

10-28-2011 , 03:03 AM

#3849

tabbaker

2018 Swami Champion

Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 13,788

Quote:

presentation went well.

.....watched farenheit 9/11 for the first time.....Bush ruined our country. he made excuses for everything, ignored all the signs of the 9/11 attacks, and covered up for everything sketchy he did.....think of how this country would be if he didnt get away with cheating in 2000. Gore would be president, the 9/11 attacks would be prevented, no war in afghanistan or iraq, muuuuch less debt if any at all, and a much stronger and safer country. Damn you Bush. Damn you to hell. you did not know how to lead a country.

i don't even