Not pissing on anyone, at least on purpose, in your home whether they paid you or not is a pretty standard obligation as host.

I must be doing it wrong. I thought the protocol was to only piss on the ones that pay you.

Do you feel like her illness had something to do with her actions? If not them it kinda was an irrelevant detail, and if you feel like it did you haven't really expressed that opinion, at least that I saw.

I would say the biggest problem was a lack of communication; you didn't offer a key, but she didn't ask about one after the offer wasn't given. Sue didn't say what she wanted to do at the beach or for how long, but you didn't ask what she had in mind or wanted to do while there.

As others have said you seem pretty clean here, but like in most situations rarely is any one side free of any guilt.

BTW, how has no one mentioned that this woman doesn't have a cell phone. WTF?

I don't think you (or for that matter, many people) here get it. Karen might very well have been acting just as she normally does around you. Great for you. Not great for your guest. When you are hosting someone (versus just letting them crash at your place) you and your significant other should be going out of your way to do things with them. Driving them to the beach and then leaving them while you go off with your girlfriend is not being a good host. It might be completely normal for you and your girlfriend to shower together and sing to each other in the shower, but when your guest is in the room next door, that's just strange.

Was your behavior unacceptable?? No. Were you a good host?? Not at all. Was your girlfriend weird/awkward around your guest? Probably not. Did your guest have any reason to feel like anything other than a burden/third-wheel???? It sure doesn't sound like it.

I find it hard to believe that somebody can support this claim in a way that uses reason and logic.

the only sensible answer in this thread. When I have a guest over from out of town I go out of my way to accomodate them. You technically didn't do anything wrong but you could've been a much better host. Having her be a third wheel and leaving her alone with nothing planned is kinda weak.

meh, you weren't a great host, but i don't think you deserved to be harangued. it definitely sounds like you treated hosting as kind of an obligation. unfortunately half her complaints are kind of worthless, so you go ahead and dismiss them all, but having been the third wheel in sue's spot numerous times, there's a right way to act and a wrong way, and it sure seems like you picked wrong too often.

If she came to hang out with you and you basically ignored her and just HU with you GF than yeah I could see how she could be a little frustrated,

It kinda seems like you basically thought of her as a couch surfer. In situations like that if she wanted to hang out at the beach longer (Don't know how far it was) why didn't you just ask her if she wanted to stay there giver her a few dollars to call you when she was done and you could have picked her up.

Also if you had to go to work during the day and she sat at your house alone without a key to lock up I could see that also. Also along those lines you could have dropped her off atthe beach in the morning and and picked her up later that night.

But really it seems like she digs you and was hoping to snag you from you GF for the week,

I'll amend: showering with your gf in front of lonely, unstable woman who probably has a thing for you and is expecting quality time with the one who got away is not at all likely to make said lonely, unstable woman feel uncomfortable. Therefore it's perfectly elegant host behavior.

Because then his door would be unlocked (if no one else was there) and most ppl don't like there door unlocked if no one is home.

There was not a SINGLE instance this entire week where I deliberately just left Sue off by herself without asking her about it. For example, at the beach, we all get there, and I'm hungry and I know Karen's hungry, so I ask Sue, 'Hey, you wanna come get some food with us? Karen and I are pretty hungry.' Her reply: 'No thanks, I'd rather stay on the beach.' Ok, fine.

Couple nights ago: 'Hey, Karen and I are gonna go play some rock band, you should join us!' 'Oh, no thanks I'd rather read my book.' Umm, ok.

Last night: 'Hey Sue, it's getting kinda late and we haven't eaten yet, let's go get some dinner.' 'Oh it's ok, can you just pick me up some fruit at the store on the way back?' Uhh, ok.

I'm not sure what else exactly I was supposed to do in those situations.

Seems like she was upset that you were with Karen the whole time. Remember she is mentally unstable.

She came to hang out with you not you and Karen. Do you and Karen IM or talk on the phone with her together?

yeah but your phrasing here is off, and if she's really passive-aggressive or prone to overinterpretation i could see how she took it as unfriendly. to me, if you're hosting a person, you basically have to treat them like a child, i.e. it's all about what they want. so it's not 'hey me and the girl i'm banging and actually care about are going to go do this thing, would you like to tag along like one of those extra... round things..'² - it's, hey, i know these great restaurants, what are you in the mood for? what would you like to do? and if the person doesn't know the area well, or gives something non-committal, or doesn't like doing stuff in general, you start suggesting things.

I think we'd need a lot more info about this shower to judge. If they just got up in the middle of the day to go get wet and naked- yeah, that's bad. If in the course of normal shower time they happened to do it together, psychogirl needs to get over herself.

If you went/flew across the country to her house to hang out withe for the week and she was with her BF the whole time how would you feel? No one wants to be a 3rd wheel all the time.

Oh goodness, that's another thing I forgot to mention in the OP. Sue is ridiculously indecisive. She can't decide on anything. We go to some restaurant, it takes her a good 30 seconds to decide on what to get to drink. Any food she wants to order, she asks me what I'm getting first, and then hems and haws trying to decide.

So going back to the day before we went to the beach, I asked her what she wanted to do. She said beach. I said great, which one? She said she didn't know. So I gave her options. She said any of them are fine. I'm like fine, so I picked one. Then later of course I find out that she would have preferred to go to one of the other beaches because it was closer to her friend's place. Ugh.

Haha, definitely the latter. In fact, I don't know if we've EVER done the former.

They should ave invited her to take a shower with them. That's what a good host would have done. And gave her some lasting memories

I feel like people in this thread comes across as having no empathy skills whatsoever.

You didn't do anything right or wrong because there is no such thing as right or wrong here. If you care about your friend, then care about your friend. Make them feel welcome and wanted every day they're staying with you. There's no checklist, no rules to follow. Just be a friend man.

Well that's the thing, it wasn't the whole time, really. She came in last Wednesday. Karen didn't come into the picture until Sunday afternoon.

hmmmmm, I CTRL+F for cliff notes and upon not finding any, Ive decided not to read your post. However I wall answer your question anyway

the answer is "yes"

So what did you guys do before Karen came into the picture?

While you weren't an A+ host, you were considerate and made an effort.

She was not as considerate, and was a less than sterling guest.
The street goes two ways imo

Also, not surprising an ex/anorexic has food issues.

taking 30 seconds to pick a drink seems pretty normal to me ...

Not when you've already been waiting 5-10 minutes for the waiter to come and take your order.