yeah am going to do a conference call with my siblings soon and try to reach a consensus because i think any unitary action will be taken less seriously

any actions we take to prevent this are not going to be well received and ultimately i'm not sure if i'd rather get directly involved and have a difficult relationship with them going forward or have broke parents i'm in a good relationship with

worst case scenario is getting involved but being unable to stop it so then it's the worst of both worlds

also concerned contractor may be unaware of the situation and being tipped off to the opportunity may then try to exploit it

Pretty much, once that money is gone, it's gone.

Unless you can provide proof of scam or non completed work.

Besides, if they were that scummy or incompetent,chances are they aren't in business anymore.

Oops, didn't read sh*t after your first post.

Go for the power of attorney and definitely offer to beat that guys ass if he doesn't stop the project.

Good luck.

The fact that they are bringing workers from across the country would actually be evidence in support of a high price point, not against.

sorry if i misphrased that but yeah that's the smoking gun as far as i'm concerned

i also worked construction briefly after college, the company was based in seattle and paid normal construction wages, but they'd occasionally make bids in so cal under the idea they'd have to pay their employees 2x+ in order to relocate for the job

i was making $55 an hour at a job site in Pasadena for a few months and then when that finished was brought back to Seattle where my new wage was $17 an hour

Personally, I'd be more worried about cognitive decline. You say they are functioning, but old people get really good at faking it.

They are really good at denying it.

Keep having to show my mom how to work her new smartphone, but she doesn't get it /doesn't like it so it's my fault she can't answer a call.

It sounds dodgy and it probably is. I’ll mention that if your parents get taken for a bunch of money, the repercussions are more than them being poor. The “free” old folks homes will make you want to put up some cash for a good facility pretty quickly.

Damn! What a tough spot.

I think I'd invest a few hundred bucks for a consultation with an elder care attorney. May even get a free consultation or possibly split costs with siblings.

Things are going to keep getting worse. The earlier you find a way to address it, the better it will be for all concerned. Good luck!

Rickroll at the risk if you challenging me to a fight I should tell you I deal with a lot of contractors and once that money is gone, it is indeed most likely gone. Especially a few years down the road. You need to do 2 things asap. 1) have other contractors give estimates to be able to compare quotes and 2) pay a geriatric psychologist to visit your parents and administer some tests. If they do in fact find proof of cognitive decline you can then take that directly to the contractor with threat of suit if he proceeds.

It seems your parents would be strongly against both but you need to be feisty and creative with them to have this stuff done right away

You are not getting that money back in few years unless you can prove they over charged against comparable quotes and prove they were in fact in cognitive decline at the time of purchase.

Don't worry about your relationship with your parents being ruined, they won't remember tomorrow that they hate you, remember? Have you had the contractor thoroughly checked out to make sure he doesn't have a history of bad business? If you could show your folks some horrible reviews maybe that would slow them down? You should for sure talk to the guy yourself and explain the situation. If he's legit that should slow him down and if it seems to make him more gung ho that could be your cue to get more aggressive in stopping things.

As the caretaker for my grandmother it's been a slow process but I've been the one to slowly but surely take away all kinds of responsibilities (driving, mail, bills, answering the phone) and they forget about being mad surprisingly fast.

Are they friends with the person who drafted the will or trust? Contact that attorney for a referral to someone if nothing else.

so judging by the reactions i think i may not have properly explained

1. they are perfectly aware and capable right now it's just they have regular memory lapses and their long term memory is still sharp, i don't believe for a second that custodianship at this immediate point is necessary nor would ever be granted - it's mostly concerns that what i'm noticing is just the tip of the iceberg and/or a sign of what's to come, it's one thing when they forget they asked the same question earlier that afternoon or they are carrying on an identical conversation from last week unaware the subject had already been discussed, but this week when my dad didn't realize he had watched the red sox game with me the night before (it came up because i mentioned baseball and he told me not to spoil it because he didn't finish watching it last night, i remind him that i came over and watched the end of the game with him and he wasn't asleep because we were talking all through the game and i said goodbye when i left) and he was just like "oh i must have been asleep" - that was by far the biggest event and just happened a few days ago - perhaps it was some medication or perhaps he'd had a few too many scotches by the time i arrived, but i'm noticing a concerning trend here

while my siblings and i disagree with their decision making, at this stage it's just "senior moments" so to directly attempt to intervene at this juncture would be less the stereotype of helping the elderly cross the road but more akin to trying to check someone into rehab who didn't want to go to rehab and didn't think they had a problem

2. siblings are not on board with taking dramatic intervention, they'd rather have broke parents who they have a good relationship with - fortunately they have incredibly good lifetime medical coverage as part of their employment benefits so if it came to a home later then that's all covered expense wise so if they lose everything in this venture and far worse scenario of their decline not being just senior moments but far worse then at least that's all covered

3. direct intervention would be nuking the relationship - especially if sibings not there by my side - even expressing mild doubt about the project gets them all angry and fired up and they start raising their voices immediately - they had a very contentious relationship with the prior owner of this house and inherited it with a poison pill that heavily restricts what can be done so this mostly feels like a big fu to a dead person as will never stipulated they couldn't tear down vast sections of the house

4. will talk to an elder care lawyer later in the week and see what they say about the issue but i think i just gotta hope the contractor doesn't screw them over

main concern is that they get to a stage where work can't be stopped after the roof or exterior wall has been knocked down and then they realize they can't afford to complete the project

there's also a chance everything will work out fine, just an absurd and unnecessary renovation done at more or less market rates

Couples, in particular, are surprisingly good at covering for each other. I don't even think they do it consciously.

As you say, what you are noticing is only the tip of the iceberg.

Pretty sure if a fence is built on someone else's porperty for a while and no one notices its then your property. Not a lawyer at all though.

Also I'd just bring up whatever points I could, maybe vet the contractor on my own but mostly let them make their own choices.

rick - It may not be to an extreme point yet, but you are fooling yourself if you think they are "perfectly aware and capable". As I said, old people are really good at faking it. What you are noticing is just the tip, and it will get worse. It may not be time to take control, but it's time to start talking about it and making plans.

This seems like a great deal. A steal even.

Yeah, I just paid $450 for the same thing and I feel like I got a deal. When I had another tub done 16 years ago it was $250.

rickroll, you're correct. The guy who inherited the house I just bought hired the "family" contractor to do clean up and promised to do a complete rehab prior to him selling. This is one of the reasons it took 9 months to buy the house. He completely ripped him off a charged him over $50k for about $30k worth of work. When the owner wouldn't pay the contractor filed a lien on the house and the owner hired an attorney. Obv the contractor said no deal because he knew he was getting paid at the closing and it would cost a ton of money and time to prove that $50k of work wasn't done.

I would have to think that the contractor would need to prove that $50k of work was done.

Rickroll: help guys my parents can't remember a baseball game we just watched and are about to get scammed for their savings and mortgage the house for no good reason

Also Rickroll: naw it's cool

The contractor filed the lien and the county accepted whatever he provided. At that point the contractor was getting paid. The old owner would have to sue to get it back which would be a giant PITA. The attorney likely told him, "It will cost you more than the difference to get it back, even if you win."

I don't have much experience with this, but I would think that the potential to not remember what medicine was taken that same day is much more crucial compared to their long term memory.

In my house I'm prepping to sell the basement is limestone that has been painted, probably three or four times and until 15 years ago the whole basement leaked/was damp. This caused about half of the paint to come off along with some of the mortar and the limestone itself. It looks like ****.

Fifteen years ago I spent a ton of money installing an exterior waterproofing system. There's a three foot wide trench around the perimeter of my house with a french drain below the footings and the exterior foundation is covered with tar and plastic and the trench is full of rocks. Ideally the water is taken away from the foundation before it has a change to enter so my basement is (mostly) dry.

My plan was to chip all of the loose paint/mortar/limestone away and then paint with drylock but I'm thinking I don't need drylock as it's expensive and the coverage sucks, like 25% of a normal can of paint. I have a method to physically remove the loose material and I feel it's relatively efficient but am interested in suggestions to handle this situation and what steps should be taken.

I have about 120 linear feet of wall that's 7ft tall.

Also, it's a near lock that there's lead in the layers of paint so I'm wearing a respirator that blocks lead dust. P100 maybe?

Man that paint removal sounds like a slam dunk hire a tradesman project.

If it isn’t a finished space I’d run a broom over it and throw 2 coats of kilz on it and call it a day.

Also paneling is dead cheap and simple. It’s not exactly classy but it covers up gnarly walls.

Team Wood Paneling, here. Can still remember my 'rents doing that in the 70's. Really classed up the joint.

We were first on our block with a redwood hot tub, too (NorCal, ldo)