lol if ganstaman gave it to Ben then started a thread to confirm how bad his decision was. I'm pretty sure he gave it to Trevor.

im not sure what this thread is trying to accomplish

This Obvs,

In most cases i would say stick with the promise but this is your home and your life you should do what works best for YOU.

Also, When you tell B don't lie to him just tell him its because he is a dooshnozzle.

Though you know if he had started the thread first and was using it to decide, he'd be going with B. Has anyone ever started an advice thread in OOT and not gone againt the unanamous concensus?

This AINEC.

He's not really a friend, he's an acquaintance, and you owe him nothing. On top of that he sounds like as *******. Your place, make a decision where you'll be happier for the whole year rather than give in to some misguided adherence to a blind "a promise is a promise" principle that's going to make you miserable for a year.

T sounds better, but it is terrible on your part to tell someone they can move in and then back out after they have given notice to leave their current place.

You should call B asap, tell him something has come up and he cannot move in. I wouldn't worry about remaining friends with B, I would be worried about him being in a situation where he has to move out from his current place and has nowhere to go. If someone put me in that situation I would be out for blood.

^Exactly, and that's also why OP should feel obligated to at least offer B a few hundred doll hairs for being put in this situation. Besides, OP will be +EV soon after T moves in anyway.

Update OP?

When are you going to reveal that B moved in and bitchslapped you for even considering T. FWIW, I hope I'm wrong about this.

Tell him you're gay, sounds like a guy who will back off after knowing that.

This times a million, so T

With the exception of 1 **** up, I've never had a problem living with CL randoms, and I've never had a good experience living with a friend. I would bet lots of money that you and B would have issues.

I dunno... B looks surprisingly solid.

I actually considered this and making a thread about it prior to T coming into the equation. I preferred B to working on finding a roommate, but I did have some doubts from the start.

I considered this too, but I can't see how that doesn't make me look worse and I can't see him taking it. I offered to help him in any way I could, but he declined.

To make me feel better about what I did. I need validation that it was ok.

Yeah, not sure what makes you think I could do that. Which did make it harder to explain to him why I wanted to go with T instead.

Yeah it sucks you promised and backed out but oh well, you made a mistake promising him. Learn to see the whole situation next time.

It came close. So here's what went down:

B called me to study with him at his place. Just before I left, T called and created this whole situation. So when I got to B's place, I brought it up to see if it was possible for him to not move in with me without being homeless or terribly inconvenienced. At this point, he told me that his roommates already had someone and I backed off.

At the end of the night when I was about to leave, I brought it up again. This time, instead of him talking about how he would have to try to find a new place, he talked about the trouble he would have staying where he is -- he already told his roommates and landlord that he would be leaving, so it would be awkward, and would have to find the landlord to get himself on the lease that was already signed by his roommates, and then the issue of cost (he took out loans planning on not needing as much money). So 2 things were weird here:

1) None of that really sounds very difficult that would really be much of an inconvenience.

2) This makes it sound like his roommates don't have someone else, and he only said it before to sway me/guilt me.

I knew I wanted to live with T instead of B, but it felt horribly wrong to do that to B. I called my parents for advice and they were in complete agreement with this thread's advice. So I went with it, but still felt bad, so came to OOT hoping you guys would make me feel better. It worked! for the most part.

You feeling bad is a good thing, it shows you are not a complete @zzhole.

Your answer depends on how much your word means to you. If T never entered this situation you'd be content with B over a random internet stranger. So ask yourself if you want to **** someone over or honor your word. Whether you consider B a friend or not, he seems like he is an acquaintance that might be worth having and you'll obviously be burning all your bridges if you boot him out.

Personally, I'd tell B to eff off rather than be unhappy for a year. That said, I feel like you are painting B out to be worse than he is. Sounds like you just want T, so you're trying to justify choosing him by making B look worse. You wouldn't have agreed to live with him in the first place if he was so awful.

so you havent actually yet told B he wont be living with you? You just brought it up a couple times?

From my experience people like B respond best when you treat them in kind.... i guarantee he knows he is a dick, if you call him on it and explain that is why you don't want to live with him he might actually respect you and stuff

I tried my best to not make B seem worse than he really is to avoid biasing people towards the choice I actually made. When I first got him to live with me, I told my parents about him over the phone. Despite me trying to paint him in a good light without any outright lies, my mom disliked him and distrusted him just from her phone conversation with me.

I have another friend that met B for just 10 minutes, and this friends hates B already. I don't think I was being too unfair.

Haha, that would make for an even worse situation. I made it clear at the end of our second conversation what my decision was.

IDK. In my experience people like this usually think theyre funny and personable and what not. They usually get hostile and agro when people reciprocate dbagness.

I do think being up front about it would be best. It seems like OP doesnt even want to be friends with the dude but is too scared to tell him so. Telling him you think hes a loudmouth homophobic moron might be just what you need to severe ties.

I mean you promised to B, so it's B, but why the **** would you agree to live with B when you don't trust him? You have made a mistake, and now have to deal with it. Next time don't make that mistake. (or just cut B off totally and be a dick, but don't be a dick).

Kinda surprised that people are so lackadaisical about going back on their word. Especially on a gambling forum where people are constantly outraged by people not paying up on bets.

Because it would of been a bad situation, and the OP would of had to kick the guy out eventually. Yeah, OP promised but he made a mistake, no sense fvking yourself over for a year to keep your word on something like this.

B moves in, the OP will not like to go home, eventually will hate B, gets screwed out of rent all because he promised the guy a room when he shouldn't of?

in most cases i would agree but in a situation where your day to day living situation can be vastly improved by doing so you gotta look out for yourself

op you would have gotten hosed bad by B eventually, regardless of how much you wanted his dick. good choice.

I don't take going back on your word lightly at all, but there's a huge difference in promising to do your ******* quasi-friend a small-medium favor (help him move, pick him up at the airport) and another thing altogether to make yourself miserable for a year.

Given the totality of the situation I'd back out, too, and I'd feel ****ty as well.

The mistake was agreeing to live with the ******* in the first place, not in backing out once you realized what a huge error you had made.

I'm all for keeping your word, but you have to balance the damage to your reputation with how ****ty your life would be if you kept it, and in this case I think the balance is far enough to break your word.

It would be completely different if money had already exchanged hands, or if there wasn't enough time for the ******* to get himself sorted out, but in this case I think it's fine.

I also think it's good OP felt badly about going back on his word, but it's nothing you should beat yourself up too much about.