I'm a little torn here. And I hope I can give the relevant background without turning tl;dr. I own a 2 bedroom condo that I was living in alone for a year, but I want a roommate for the upcoming academic year, so I will be renting out the 2nd bedroom. My 2 choices are explained below, neither read 2+2 so I'll try to be fairly open:

I had a poker friend B in college, but since we played enough poker, I think I was as close to him as to non-poker friends. I don't stay in touch with people, so I didn't see him for 5 years after graduation, but some months ago I ran into him as he is doing med school where I am. 1 month ago, we agreed that he could be my roommate starting 1 month from now. He has already told his roommates and landlord, but his room is not yet taken. I would be charging him less than he pays now, and he has already requested the appropriate amount of financial aid from the school (he says he requested the max b/c he is also paying off college loans now).

While I am friendly with B, and he would go with me to play poker, he is manipulative and hard to trust (he was one of the best poker players in our college game). I'm a complete pushover, and he can talk me into just about anything, including $100 less per month than I originally asked for, as well as paying $0 for the 3 months during the year he'd be away. I enjoy being with him, but he does make me uncomfortable at times (either due to this manipulation, or his joking/homophobic remarks while he doesn't know I'm gay).

Today, a work colleague of mine T asked if B was actually committed to living with me. T is about to be divorced from his crazy/vindictive, yet rich wife, leaving him with no way to pay the rent on 'their' place. She would also be taking most of the things from the place as she bought them, and would leave him with the older car that can't last too much longer. I've known him for only 10 months, but besides marrying and divorcing (well, almost divorcing) 2 crazy women by the age of 35? 32? he seems like a trustworthy guy that I get along with. He would pay me what I was initially asking for, and wouldn't ever push me around.

So basically, I would be more comfortable living with T (and would make more money from it), but I did promise B the place a month ago, and going back on that now would give him a month to make sure he could stay where he is now or find a new place that he could afford while he studies for the most important test he's going to take in med school. Suggestions?

pics or GTFO

sounds to me like T's ex wife is the obvious choice

Tough one. A promise is a promise, but he is a dickwad and hasn't given you any money yet, right? I'd definitely say you're stuck with him, but homophobic remarks and your being gay probably kills the deal.

Why are you trying to be friendly with a manipulative cheap-ass who haggled you down to less than your asking price and $0 for three months? Why do you even care about him? With all due respect, that does not sound like a friend at all. And as a fellow gay guy, I gotta tell you living with someone who makes homophobic jokes/remarks is a disaster waiting to happen...

Just tell him someone came to you and offered more and **** him if he snaps about it. He can handle himself in finding an apartment, especially if he was able to get a cheaper rate out of you.

Come out to him. Hopefully thatll handle the problem. I hate going back on my word but making less money and living with someone youre not gonna like as much, in your own house, isnt worth keeping a ~promise imo.

No money has exchanged hands, nothing signed. Just a verbal agreement and me asking B if he was sure so I wouldn't have to start looking for a roommate with flyers and stuff.

Don't sign B. He's not your friend.

Sign with T easy.

You gotta stand up for yourself. And being a pushover as you are you can't keep caving in to B. Stand your ground, point blank say living with him will make you uncomfortable, and then go with T. You will lose B as a friend, but don't worry, that type of guy isn't your friend and you owe him nothing.

For roommates, I have had a startling amount of success with craigslist randoms. I'd much rather go into a living situation with a near stranger because they are much less likely to take advantage. **** your friend.

the irony in this is downright hysterical

Call B asap so he's doesn't totally end up being screwed and losing the place he's in now. Say something like, "sorry but I've signed with this other guy who can pay the full asking amount and pay all 12 months of the year." If he hates you because of it, sounds like good riddance to me. Sounds like a good way to permanently part ways with this douchebag.

The guy is not your friend if he manipulates you. Your real friends wouldn't do that to you. You owe him nothing.

My money's on you having no backbone and getting ripped off by B.

I was planning on getting a stranger, but friends in need of a place to live turned up just in time to save me the trouble of making an ad and weeding out serial killers. Do you get a lot of crazies interested in your CL ads?

1) I actually settled the issue before posting this thread, but wasn't sure if I was making a bad decision or not.

2) What if I told B that I was giving the room to T, and B says he can't stay where he is, his current roommates already have somebody else? Would that change your mind?

Tell B that the room is ready, and that his bunkmate T has already moved in and decorated, it's to die for, and you're sure they will get on fabulously.

I bet it changed yours.

As someone who has had an awful roommate before, you promised but oh well, B is gonna be a big problem, even if he can't find another place oh well. IMO he is just says he can't get another place(he is manipulative), and is fos. B would cause a year or so of problems and will cost you money.

Give the room to T.

Then ship B $200 to help him with the problem you have created for him and for being a douchebag by going back on your word.

Burn the condo down. Avoid this problem and get cash money.

Someone didn't thoroughly read OP IMO


Also OP, I'm 31 with 3 crazy ex wives behind me and a baby mama I've never been married to, and I'm extremely trustworthy so....

I like this thread. I'm not posting my answer, because I've already read at least three that are better than mine.

Probably not. As you said, he's manipulative so there's a good chance he's lying, and as I said before, this is actually a good opportunity for you to sever your relationship with this user.

Here's what you need to do whenever you have any kind of a life decision, and this goes for everyone. The most valuable thing you can have is jmakinmecrzy's opinion, so you've already got that. Now all you have to do is the exact ****ing opposite.

The answer is obviously T, but its also obvious that living with B (or even being friends with him) in the first place was a bad idea and you still went with it, and since he pushes you around and has the whole "but you promised me!" card to play, you should just quit wasting your time because you know you dont have what it takes to tell B you arent renting to him. So you should just accept your fate and go quietly into the night.

without having any idea what you did, the simple fact that you arent sure whats a bad decision here, really speaks volumes. Theres a ton or larger issues here than "who should my roommate be" and for ultimate happiness you really need to start addressing and working on them. (Finding the balls to tell B to bugger off, is a good first step, I hope thats what you did)

I would definitely pick Trevor. You will probably find that while you can live with Ben's shortcomings and enjoy his company atm, living with him will be completely different. $100pm + 3mths rent is a lot of money. You could tell him that you've found somebody who will pay the amount you wanted and he can only take it if he is willing to pay the same for the full period. He'll probably say no and you can move Trevor in without feeling too guilty.