Poetry got me my first girl, but now I gotta help my 16 year old cousin out. He told me a few days that there is a girl that he likes and he wanted to use poetry to "woo" her. He e-mailed me a long list of things that I can include, and I came up with this...



Now the deal is, if this works and he gets something positive out of it, he forks up $50. You think it will work? Has poetry ever helped you get a girl?

**** no im not a flamer.

Second. Prepare to be crucified.

...

Yes.*


*- usually it is better to use someone ELSE'S poetry. someone who is good at writing.

...

First of all, if you're going to pick a rhyme scheme, stick with it.

Second, this sounds like something a 14-year-old would write.

I don't know if your poem will work, but poetry does work. I used Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "How Do I Love Thee," a while back and it worked brilliantly, but then again it's Barrett Browning and she's the ****.

This one has been known to woo all the high school chicks:

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

roses are red
violets are blue
skeet skeet skeet, goddamn!

Sure it can. But there's absolutely no reason to rely on it the way you seem to be "teaching" to your cousin.

Also, obv don't charge any money. That's ridiculous.

Yugoslav

sorry, but... bahahahahahaha

Seriously, though, OP, you should hire a producer and lay this **** down over some sick beats.

Your poem is not very good. It sounds like the cheesyest freestyle rap ever. I suppose it's ok considering a "16 year old boy" wrote it though. Might work. But like yugoslav said, charging money sucks. And like others have said, using a real poem might be a better idea. But good luck.

OP,

It seemed to work well for the DiceMan. Eff the haters.

Admiringly yours,

The Sucker

it's gonna be funny when she googles the poem to see if it's original and this comes up

A good tip for writing poetry, by the way, is cheat. Take a good, known poem and use it's metre and rhyme patterns and other stuff that fits. Take this poem of Wordsworth's for example:

She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove,
Maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love:

A violet by a mosy tone
Half hidden from the eye!
---Fair as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky.

She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and, oh,
The difference to me!


With the first verse we can in double quick time smear together something along the lines of what you want to say, for example like:

Your smile awakens dreams in me
of eagle and of dove.
Know that I smile when'er I'm free
to think of you, my love.

and so on

i dunno, to do that it would have to not get crumpled up and thrown in the trash first.

somebody change OP's title to 'cyrano de berge-whack' imo

While we're at it we should make sure the "Lets talk about sex" thread is close by on the page incase after teh google she ventures for more reading.

Can bad poetry get the girl?

Only if her tastes are ******ed.

OP, this has worked excellently for me, and it looks like your creation is of fine quality. Consider the $50 yours!

d00d just have the kid open up with the jealous girlfriend opener, then drop some neg BOMBS, then have him spiral close OBVIOUSLY

oh man

bahahahaha

a behavioral guide


dude dont let some poor high school student give this to a girl. just dont do it. it would have been funny i guess to make him do it on april fools day. but now its just cruel.

OP,

Try to get him to throw the line "I love Kevin Bacon but I hate Footloose" in there.

You ruined the crack about you I was going to make

ahahah

of course it's good to let the girl know she's some sort of necessity, like taking a dump, rather than anything romantic.

BTW, poetry is PUA gold. Can't lose.